Lover! Fighter! Interstellar delivery pilot! Only one man claims to do it all - Jake Starcrash!
"Hey Primrose, what are you doing?""Realigning my robot's targeting system. I've been meaning to do this since we got to Snowball.""Can I help?""Well, this is kind of a one-person job. There's really not much you can-""I could get you tools if you need them!""Most of what I need is here. I really need to concentrate on this... maybe Krum needs help!"
"You said you'd teach me how to shoot a burner.""Yeah, but I also said we can't use the target board until we get the cargo bay emptied out.""What are you doing now?""Cleaning my burner.""Can I help?""No."
"Hey, kiddo, you want to learn how to fly a spaceship?""Yeah!"
"Okay, now let's bring the aft thrusters up.""Like this?""Say, that's pretty good! Your math looks like it checks out. We might be at Sunrise Station by tomorrow night. Let's see what-"[beeping noise]"What's that?""Vector approach. There's another ship headed toward us."
"Class two craft... some kind of military ship? That can't be right, there's no Imperial fleet within-""What's that light mean?""They're hailing us. Here, stay out of sight. Unidentified ship, this is the Zephyr. Please identify."
"Good morning, sir! According to my sensors, you're riding pretty low in the water! I'd hate to have to spill you out all over the gravity well, so why not just shut down your engines and save us all a lot of trouble?"
"Uh, look, you've got a calibration error or something. Our bay is stripped clean! We were just on our way to pick up some-""Kick jets before my father makes you wish you never saw his ship!""Ash, what are you-""Come on, we can take 'em!"[laughter on radio]
"The kid's got brass, but unless I'm mistaken your ship isn't flying any guns, and mine is. Prepare to be boarded.">Full burn toward a nearby planet and try to evade them>Full burn toward Sunrise Station and try to outrun them>Full burn toward the pirates and try to disable them>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>4855441>>Full burn toward Sunrise Station and try to outrun themThis is the fastest ship this side of the Diagonal Quadrant, they can't catch us.
Rolled 5 (1d12)>>4855441Ramming speed
Rolled 3 (1d12)>>4855441>>Full burn toward Sunrise Station and try to outrun them
Rolled 3 (1d12)>>4855448I second this
Rolled 10 (1d12)>>4855441>Full burn toward Sunrise Station and try to outrun them!Welcome back, by the way!
"Okay, okay, you're the boss. No need to shoot up my ship. Beginning shutdown sequence now.""What are you doing?""Look, if you're going to stay alive in this business, you have to learn that sometimes it's best to just give in and go with the flow-"
"-but not when you're dealing with pirates! Hang on!""W-aaah!"[engine straining noises]
[beeping]"We've got a runner, boys!"
KDROOOMKDROOOM"Aaaa-!""What's going on?""They're shooting at you!"
KDROOOMKDROOOM"They're shooting at us. That's what happens when you-"[beeping noise]"Jake, you're burning too many ions!"
[beeping continues]"Jake!""I know I'm running too hot, but I can barely keep ahead of them!"KDROOOMKDROOOM"Aaaa-!""If you burn out we won't be ahead of them for long!"[second, unrelated beeping begins]"Jake!""I know!">Send Prim outside to supercharge the grav engines in mid-chase>Push the Zephyr past her safety limit and engage maximum burn>Try to evade the pirates and hope they go away>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>4855599>Push the Zephyr past her safety limit and engage maximum burn
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>4855599>>Send Prim outside to supercharge the grav engines in mid-chase
Rolled 3 (1d12)>>4855599Get in a space drag race with the pirates. Try and make them crash.
Rolled 1 (1d12)>>4855599>Send Prim outside to supercharge the grav engines in mid-chase
Great rolling from everyone today....
Rolled 8 (1d12)>>4855599>Try to evade the pirates and hope they go away
Rolled 3 (1d12)>>4855599>Send Prim outside to supercharge the grav engines in mid-chase
[multiple ominous-sounding warning noises]"What's wrong?""He's overriding the safeties!""Come on, come on, you can do it-""You're going to blow out an engine!""I don't think they're going to let us off with a warning!"
"Engaging maximum bur-"
"What happened?""Starboard engine just blew! They're catching up to us!"
"Prim, what are you-""I'm going out there!""Are you crazy? We're in the middle of a firefight!""Like you said, they're not going to let us off with a warning!"
[heavy breathing]"Okay, I've got the panel off. It looks pretty bad. There's a lot of- huh? What's that light?"
KDROOOM"Aaiiii-!""Prim? Prim, answer me!"
"Prim! She's not showing up on the exterior sensors!""This is the Locust. You're already half-dead in the water. Bring your ship's engines down or I'll open fire. Your hull won't survive another volley at this range.""Send me out there!""What?""When they breach the cargo bay, I'll sneak out behind them and board their ship.">Allow the pirates to board the Zephyr>Send Krum to reverse-board the pirate ship>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 11 (1d12)>>4857108>Allow the pirates to board the Zephyr>Send Krum to reverse-board the pirate shipBoth of these at the same time.
Rolled 1 (1d12)>>4857172Based and Krum-pilled
"What are you waiting for? We don't have much choice!""Alright, okay, go ahead! Good luck..."
"What's going to happen?""Nothing. Krum's going to go down to the cargo bay and I'm going to seal the deck hatch.""What if they want to come up here?""They won't.""What if they do?""Just... just stay right here next to me."
CHA-KUNNGG"Docking complete.""We'll teach these sludge to mess with us!"
"Report.""All clear. Looks like everything's waiting for us. Eight tons."
"Take care of the cargo first...."
"We'll worry about what to do with them after it's- Huh? What th-"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever Krum does, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 8 (1d12)>>4857313Crush the pirate's visor with fist, suffocating him and taking away his ability to speak thanks to vacuum.
"A Sporc! Must have gotten in when we-"
"Captain!"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever Krum does, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 3 (1d12)>>4857428Wedgie him so hard he's torn in half.
Rolled 4 (1d12)>>4857428Slash his air tube
Rolled 12 (1d12)>>4857428Throw the knife directly into his eye.
KLUNNGGG[air pump noises]"Drop your blade, Sporc. Lisbon, get some irons. This one will fetch us a nice stack of flatbacks when we get to Sunrise Station.""Which one of you is brave enough to try and cuff m-""We'll need to soften him up first!"
[burner rattling noises]"D-drop the blade, Sporc!""If you're gonna shoot me, then shoot, but you better not miss. No one's putting me in irons.""Trotter, you idiot! What are you waiting for?""Yeah, idiot. What are you waiting for?"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever Krum does, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 11 (1d12)>>4857559Slide-tackle and upwards slash with the knife into guts
"I said drop the bl-""And I said I'm sick of waitin' for you to find some brass!""H-oof!"
[heavy booted footsteps]
[click]"Locust calling Zephyr. Come in, Zephyr.""Krum?! What's going on?"
"The Locust is secured. What do you want me to do with the captain?">Put him in irons and take him to Sunrise Station for bounty>Put him in irons and set the Locust adrift>Put him down>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 4 (1d12)>>4857636>Put him in irons and take him to Sunrise Station for bounty
Rolled 1 (1d12)>>4857636Give him a swift kick in the nuts, then put him in irons, then lock him inside a crate, and then finally bring him over.
Rolled 8 (1d12)>>4857636Eject him out of the airlock without any clothes on.
Rolled 1 (1d12)>>4857636>Put him in irons and take him to Sunrise Station for bounty
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>4857636>Put him in irons and take him to Sunrise Station for bounty
Rolled 12 (1d12)>>4857636>>Put him downAirlock his ass
Rolled 1 (1d12)>>4857636Put him down
"That's great! Can you put him in irons?""They were planning to do it to me.""Alright, let me know when you're ready to board the Zephyr.""What about Prim?""Don't worry, her suit was originally rated for two hours, so she's got at least thirty minutes.""What if she-""Hey, there's no use thinking about that. One thing at a time. We'll start searching for her as soon as we take care of these pirates."
"You heard him. Up.""Hey, I'll do whatever you say! Just don't kill me!"
"I'll take this for now. Where are the irons?""Over there, in that compartment."
"Hey, there's nothing in here but some thruster panels-"BEEP
[annoyed silence]Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever Krum does, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 7 (1d12)>>4860909Look for Prim, because clearly sporcs can survive in space without a vacsuit
>>4860909>Go back inside and knife the mofo. The pressure should have equalized by now. We can look for the blaster (and Prim) later
Rolled 5 (1d12)>>4861208Some typo with the dice, it seems, rollan proper
[beeping]"Hey, the Locust is detaching!""But Krum's on it!""Maybe. Zephyr to Locust."[silence]
KLUNGGG"Aaah! They're shooting again!""That sounded more like an impact-"KLUNGGG
[machinery noises, air cycling, muffled cursing]
"Krum! Are you alright?""I'm fine!""You look a little...""I said I'm-"[coughing]"-fine!""What about the pirates?""Two of them are taken care of. I got sucked outside before I could take care of the captain. If he's not firing, he must have kicked jets.""He was probably worried there were more Sporcs on board!"
"Forget about the pirates and get down here!""What's wrong?""I've got Prim but I can't wake her up!"
"Prim!"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 1 (1d12)>>4862943Have Krum get the First Aid Kit and try to get her breathing again if she isn't already!
>>4862945... I'm gonna stop rolling for a while now.
Rolled 3 (1d12)>>4862943Take off her helmet and give her a good slap
>>4862961Welp, dice hate us againRip Primrose
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>4862943CPR, I guess?
Rolled 11 (1d12)>>4862943If all else fails, Use the Universal Resonance, Jake!
>>4862992Thank the schwartz
>>4862992Thank you, merchandize-space Jesus!
"Krum, get the medkit! There's a pan-stim in it!""I can't reach it with these crates in the way!""I never should've taken this run-"
"Try slapping her!""What?""Old Sporc remedy. Cures all kinds of th-"[coughing]"I don't think that works on Streifen!"
"Prim! Don't you do this!"[mouth-to-mouth noises]
"What are you doing?""Old human remedy! Come on, Prim! Wake up!""Do something!""We might be out of options, kid."
"There's still one thing I can try...""Not that universal resonance again! Kid, talk some sense into him! Maybe we can get her to the upper deck, jettison some of these crates... It'll only take five or six min-""There's no time!"
"Ash-""I believe in you."
"Prim!""Hmm? Oh, hi, Jake."
"There's something wrong... I can't get you to wake up!""It's alright. I'm sure you did your best.""Did my b- no, I'm not finished! We have to get you back! Where are we, anyway? This doesn't seem like one of your memories.""My memories won't matter after I leave here. Only your memories of me will matter. Yours, and Krum's... and my robot, I suppose. You know, I never gave it a name. You should make sure to give it a name. It would be sad if it was destroyed without having one."
"Come back with me and we can give it a name together! But... where are we?""This is the going-away place.""Going away? You can't leave!""Why not?""Because...">The Zephyr needs you>We need you>I need youRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 11 (1d12)>>4864520>I need youLove confession in newtype space go
Rolled 5 (1d12)>>4864520>I need you
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>4864520>>I need you
"Because... I need you.""What?""I need you, Prim. I need you by my side. My life wouldn't be the same if you weren't in it. You're the reason I keep going when the chips are down. Whenever I'm about to give up, I just look at your smile and I work twice as hard. You're not just the best mechanic I've ever flown with, you're... You're the one for me, Primrose.""The one?""I didn't think I could ever love someone, really love someone, the way I loved Ash's mother, but I love you, Prim. I love you more than anything, and I'll do anything to keep you alive and happy. I didn't realize it right away, but I do now. It took me almost two years to figure it out, but that night on Snowball when I thought I might lose you... I don't ever want to lose you, Prim. I love you, And what I want most of all, more than anything, is for you to tell me that you love me."
"Oh, Jake... do you really mean it? Do you really love me?""I love you, Primrose! More than anything! I've been falling in love with you since I met you. I see that now. I was a fool not to see it the moment I first laid eyes on you in that barn on Welland-3! Tell me you love me, and you don't want to leave me!""I... I think I-"
"What about that Scarloid barmaid you 'went skimboating with' our first night on Shaxai?""Aroonmay had never been out in the bay to see the whole city at night before!"
"Or the Limalian barmaid you 'went skimboating with' the second night.""Well, once Vaxann heard about it from Aroonmay, she wanted to-"
"What about that feral human who thought the Zephyr was a god?""I can't be blamed if Cha-La's first contact with the outside universe after twelve generations was a little overwhelming! She needed someone to, uh, guide her through how we do things!"
"And the mechanic for our rival team in that race we entered so we could meet that shipping boss?""I was just making sure we'd have an edge in the race! Not that we would have needed it with you working on our speeder, but Monika's a top-notch mechanic so it never hurts to be pre-""There's also Dr. Morken... and that Celadonian...""Thela and I never- I mean, Dr. Morken and I got along together, sure, but nothing like you and me, and as for the Celadonians, that was just-"
"Captain Starcrash, you said you were going to take ME to the orbital aquarium!""You said you were going to take us both! Just the three of us!""Jay-Ka return in time of good rain! No need Pree-Ma for this ritual!""Ready for anothah lap, Stahcrash?""Face it, Jake. I'm just another girl in your life."Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 10 (1d12)>>4865942Love is based, but sometimes you have to >Let her walk away
"You're the only girl in my life... these others-"
"-They're just poor stand-ins. You were so innocent and kind. About the exact opposite of me. I knew you enjoyed my company, but I guess I always thought of you as unapproachable, as though I'd... sully you, if I got too close. Every time I started thinking about telling you how I felt, I'd think about how you deserved better, and I'd go find someone at the next port who I could pretend filled the ache you left in my heart. But then I'd get back on the Zephyr and there you'd be. I could see that you looked upset sometimes..."[silence]"It sounds horrible, but I would always tell myself that it was good you were upset. That it was good for you to think that we could never have anything together. It made it easier for me if I thought that you wouldn't want us to be together after it happened enough times. I can see how unfair that was. Holding you at arm's length."
"It was never my place to say whether or not we were together. Most people go their whole lives without finding someone to love, and I threw away a second chance at it because I thought I knew better..."[silence]"...and now you're gone, and I could never fault you for leaving. I did everything I could to drive you away from me."
"We could have really been something, though."
"Maybe it's not too late.""Prim!"
"I love you, Jake Starcrash.""I love you, Primrose."
"Now, let's get that grav engine running so we can make it to Sunrise Station on time!""Looks like your old human remedy works-"[coughing]"-better than that universal resonance!""Krum, there are some things you just have to take on faith!">Help Prim repair the grav engine>Help Ash learn to fly the Zephyr>Help Krum with his medical issue>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 5 (1d12)>>4867379>Help Prim repair the grav engineGet Ash to help too so you can keep an eye on her.
Rolled 10 (1d12)>>4867379>Help Prim repair the grav engineYou have a lot of catching up to do, so better start now.
"Wait up, I'll go out with you.""I want to go out on the hull! I've never been in vacuum!""Sorry kiddo, we don't have a suit that fits you. Just wait here with Krum. We'll be back inside soon."
"No one lets me do anything! I hate just sitting around on this ship doing nothing!""Hey, kid-"[coughing]"-you wanna learn how to clean a burner?"
[heavy breathing]"You know, you really need to get Ash a suit of her own. She should be out here learning how a grav engine works!"[heavy breathing]"I'd rather keep her in atmo if I can help it. It was bad enough almost losing you. Besides, she doesn't need a suit."[heavy breathing]"Why not?"[heavy breathing]"She's not going to be on the ship long enough to need one."[heavy breathing]"What do you mean?"
[heavy breathing]"I'm going to use that twenty thousand flatbacks we won to send her to a boarding school. A nice one."[heavy breathing]"A boarding school? Why would you want to send her away?"[heavy breathing]"A tramp ship is no place for a kid."[heavy breathing]"Being away from your only parent is no place for a kid."
[heavy breathing]"I know you feel that way because of what happened with your own parents, but it's not like I'm dumping her on the street!"[heavy breathing]"It's not just my parents I'm thinking about."[heavy breathing]"What do you mean?"[heavy breathing]"All I have left of them is that sealed letter. You still have a chance to be with Ash, if you're willing to take it. I know if I could choose it, I would risk living on the Zephyr if it meant I could have my parents back in my life. I think if they had the chance, they'd want to be back in my life as well."[heavy breathing]"Maybe you're right... how's that?"[heavy breathing]"All set. It should be ready to initialize."
Jake's adventures will continue, right here in this thread!Thank you for playing so far!
>>4868981Thanks for running.