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>Be me,
>Be new greeter at an exclusive resort
>First day at work, not sure what I am supposed to be doing
>Take look at front page of the welcome brochure for new guests
>”Welcome to Imperial Diamond Resorts, the Crown Jewel of Archipelagia’s tourist industry”
>”We have got hundreds of miles of pristine beach, and dozens of resorts ranging from “exclusive and isolated” to “party central””
>”We got plenty of fun activities like fishing from a catamaran*, exploring ancient ruins**, gambling at one of several casinos, bird watching in our pristine jungles***, experiencing our hedonist nightlife and 24 hour red light districts****, and of course, golf”
>”Your security is our top priority, and our private island chain has better security than the governor’s palace*****”
>”So relax, enjoy your stay, and make new friends******, and don’t forget, our friendly staff are here to see to your every need*******”
“* We are not liable for injury or death that results from encounters with adverse weather and/or hostile megafauna while travelling in a catamaran, other watercraft, or while swimming”
“**There are several different types of ruin on the island, none of which have been deemed heretical and/or xenos by the appropriate authorities, however, this is subject to change at any time”
“***Rumors of disappearances in the jungle are greatly exaggerated, also reminder we are not liable in case of injury, disappearance, or death”
“****Worship of heretic gods is strictly forbidden at public events”
“*****Rumors that resort chain are a cover for one or more illegal organizations are strictly false, our armed guards and combat servitors are here for your safety”
“******The resort chain is not liable for injury or death resulting from interactions with other guests”
“*******See page 8 for the list of fines associated with the assault or murder of different types of hotel staff, also check out our escort catalogue on page 12”
>Maybe I should find a new job...
>>
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for anyone joining the thread, this is a free form storytelling / worldbuilding exercise usually done on /tg/, but we recently got nuked by a new mod for being too "quest-like"

basically just make one or more beach/tropical themed 40k characters, and either join in to what other characters are doing, or start telling your own story and see if others join in

some characters are being carried over from the previous threads found here and here:

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/79366619/

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/79479764/

I will start by posting the most recent posts I saved for my characters before the thread got nuked

Also pic related is a map from the old thread if people need it for something

So far all the action has been happening at either "the ruin", "the resort", or offshore at the ork freebootaz fleet, but eventually enough stuff may happen to justify adding it to the map
>>
(Context is that Vanessa is a part of an admech expedition exploring a multi-layered ruin made up of structures from several different cultures including slaaneshi mayans, undead egyptians, dark eldar, and necron. The expedition is clearly unauthorized, and the magos leading it obviously wants to get his hands on some necron technology, which he insists is actually Dark Age of Technology tech)

>Be Tech-Adept Vanessa
>The tech ritual is taking a long time
>Decide to go powder my nose in a side corridor with less of an audience
>See a fancy looking Necron accompanied by a tomb spyder coming this way
>Run away
“AHHHHHHH Irespectyoursovereigntydon’tshootme!!!”
>Run back into the chamber where the rest of the expeditions is watching the Magos prod a rock with his pelvic auspex arm
“AAAAHHHHHHHHHH ItoldyouitwasNecronsyoustupidfuck!!!!”
>Run through the “sharp blade enthusiast ruin”
>See some Dark Eldar flaying a menial who got lost
“AAAHHHHHH Don’ttakemyskinIlikemyskinanditwouldn’tlookgoodonyouIhavebadcomplexion
>Run through the “bone collectors ruins”
>Some of the skeletons are reanimating and reassembling themselves, plus there are what appear to be ghosts about”
“AHHHHHH Ghostsaren’trealexceptformachinespiritssoyoucan’thurtme”
>Reach the “orgy mayan top layer of ruins”
>Many of the doors have sealed themselves somehow, and daemons are peeling themselves out of the murals
>Realize we are trapped in here
“AHHHH Iamnotintoorgies!!!!”
>Run back down to the bone collectors layer
>Some walking withered corpse in important looking robes offers me a chance to be his bride for all eternity
“AAAHHHH nothanksIhavethreecats!!!”
>Reach the Dark Eldar ruins
>One of them is sodomizing the skinless shrieking victim
“AAAHHHHHH!!!!!! whatiswrongwithyoupeople?!?!?!”
>Return to the rest of the expedition
“Hey everyone, I scouted ahead, and behind, and we are super super super screwed!!!”
>>
(context here is that Rhea is a hotel worker that had to dress up strangely as part of a corporate sponsorship campaign, she is having a conversation with a bird-like abhuman Guardswoman, unfortunately I didn't save the most recent post)

>Be Rhea the Greeter
>Ah yeah, look at me, making small talk with a guest, just like I am paid to do
>By this point I am assuming the soldier is female, judging by the name and tone of her voice
>She appears to be some sort of abhuman, like the ones bred as “pets” by the wealthier inhabitants and guests of this world
>I don’t recognize the accent or uniform, but she could be from a regiment recruited from one of the northern islands of this very world
>I imagine I will get better at recognizing where people are from after working at the resort for a while
>Alicia asks if I am a woman
>Pretend not to be offended
>Straighten up a bit and roll my shoulders back a bit
“You are correct in that assumption, I am a woman”
“This week certain staff are wearing unisex T-shirts provided by one of our corporate sponsors, but next week I will resume wearing”
>Decide to continue the conversation
“Which regiment are you from if you don’t mind me asking?”
“Are you here with the army group moping up the ork freebootaz?”
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(Context here is that much of Trish's regiment got corrupted by Chaos over the course of the last two threads. She got captured by the Alpha Legion (who were behind the corruption) but got loaned to a Slaaneshi daemon known as En'Dee who has her own agenda separate, but somewhat parallel to the Alpha Legion)

>Be Trish
>The last few weeks have been strange
>We managed to escape Wonka Land by the skin of our teeth when En’Dee discovered an emergency teleportation beacon that the Inquisitorial Agent had hidden somewhere on her person
>Not entirely sure where since it is a reasonable sized object and she wasn’t wearing much at the time
>I think I can guess though...
>Anyways, we ended up on the Inquisitorial Agent’s voidship, which is unusually small, compact, and automated compared to other voidships I have been on
>But there was still a lot of people on board, and none of them were happy to see us
>The Inquisitorial Agent ordered everyone to kill me, Kayla, and En’Dee, but then En’Dee did something that turned everyone into followers of the “Happiness Angel”, who I now know is called “Slaanesh”
>The ship is basically an orgy den now, but luckily there was lots of places to go where I can avoid people
>I suspect that En’Dee could corrupt me at anytime, but chooses not to since she wants me to join willingly
>That being said, there are limits to her patience, and she often drops veiled threats anytime she wants me to something
>Anyways, a few days ago she summoned myself and Kayla to her “Throne Room” onboard the voidship for an important mission
>Working with Kayla and her corrupted Inquisitorial personnel, she has been able to determine that senior members of the so-called “Alpha Legion” faction here on Archipelagia have been working on a project at the Imperial Diamond Resorts Island Chain in the equatorial region
>En’Dee is sending down several of her agents in pairs to poke around
>She didn’t say why she wants to talk to the Alpha Legion, but I suspect she still has some sort of plan for the female Wonka clone
>Not sure why she is picking on me when she has a ship full of trained operatives, though to be fair, many are now mutated and/or insane
>Me and Kayla check into one of the more exclusive areas of the resort posing as bastard daughters of some Rogue Trader with money to burn
>I have very mixed feelings about all of this
>On one hand it is great to not only be off that ship, but also to be posing as some insanely rich idle nobility with access to funds that probably exceed my former regiment’s annual operating costs
>On the other hand, it is becoming increasingly difficult to overlook the fact that I am likely actively working against the interests of the Imperium to save my own butt...
>>
>>4856980
>Rejoining the Guard is obviously impossible now since no doubt much of my regiment has been written off as tainted, but I would rather go back to living an obscure life of crushing poverty in the fringes of Imperial society than help people like Kayla and En’Dee destroy it, no matter how comfy live is while doing so
>However desertion is rather difficult given that both Kayla and En’Dee can read my thoughts
>It is currently unclear if En’Dee will be joining us for this mission, but I have a feeling she will turn up at some point, and is perhaps already nearby in non-corporeal form
>Kayla on the other hand is a very visible reminder of my predicament
>Beautiful, charming, extroverted, and seemingly sane, she fills the role of wealthy socialite perfectly
>However, I know from the time I have spent with her back on the voidship she can be wild, unpredictable, degenerate, and sadistic when she “cuts loose”
>In addition to her telepathic powers, she is also unnaturally strong, durable, and has the ability to heal injuries incredibly quickly
>She is a senior agent of the Alpha Legion cell, but as a follower of Slaanesh, she also gets along with En’Dee and her subjects very well
>Tonight she seems to be favoring her “Slaaneshi-side”
>Our search for her Alpha Legion buddies apparently begins with a night long bar hopping expedition....In the red light district
>Kayla dresses herself in a nearly translucent night gown, but despite her best efforts, I manage to find a relatively modest open back dress, and enough expensive jewelry to convince the rich people I am one of them and not another disposable whore
>If there is one thing I learned back on my homeworld, it is you do not want horny rich people to think you are disposable
>Anyways, the first stop on our “fact finding mission” is a charming place called “Heels and Corsets”
>Spend the next two hours pretending to drink while leaning against a wall, while Kayla does.....Kayla stuff, and presumably reads minds telepathically while doing so
>After a while, she comes over, puts her arm around my shoulders, tells me I should loosen up a bit, then deftly unhooks the top part of my dress, and runs back to the dance floor waving it around while giggling like a six year old
>Fuck you Kayla
>Fuck you...
>>
also here is the third thread before it got nuked:

https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/79630420/
>>
Aw fuck, we got jannied. Wonder if the jannies on /tg/ had just become nofun regarding greentexts recently or someone spam reported it.
>>
Welcome. New Blood is always appreciated.
>>
>>4857303
Hard to say, it has been a while since these types of threads were common, so maybe a new janitor doesn't recognize the format.

Or maybe a new janitor has a different interpretation of the rules.

Or maybe this thread just seemed more questy than the others, which were usually either more heavy on satire/humor or more heavy on worldbuilding
>>
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>Be friendly ex-guardsmen Lucius
>Now in early retirement
>Or at least that's what I tell myself
>Me and my mens are now in some sort of imperium "legal" grey zone where we can't really be sentenced to death or anything else
>At least not until the yellow space marine or somebody VERY important decide otherwise
>It's been a while and it feel almost like everybody important have forgot about us
>As far as the Astra Militarum is concerned we're filthy deserters and the only thing we deserve is the emperor's peace
>After being thoroughly checked for genestealer infection and chaos corruption Chalmer told me he or one of his collegue may or may not call on me to join an inquisitorial team one day
>He also pulled some strings and me and my mens got themselves a fiew medals
>Everyone including myself got The Eagle Ordinary award, a propriety and a decent amount of crowns
>I was also awarded an Honourifica Imperialis on top of my Eagle and a little extra pocket money
>Don't tell the others but by the emperor
>"I'M AN UPPER CLASS RICHFAG NOW, I COULD BUY THIS WHOLE DAMN PLANET!"
>I've also gained a shortstack factory tour guide girlfriend named Lucia
>Well that's what she called herself anyway, nobody else in the people we saved at the factory knew her name
>And I doubt it's her real name on account that she asked me "What's the female of a Lucius called?" before saying she's "A Lucia"
>I originaly tought she wanted to know what's the female version of my name, but in retrospect I think she meant something else entirely
>From what she told me
>She was apparently abandonned in the factory district when she was a child and have lived alone in the vent systems and forgoten rooms until I blew the entire thing up
>She only socialised with actual human beings through the com systems by pretending to be some sort of machine spirit
>So since she has severe panick attack when I'm not within sight I decided we would go to the beach today and I'd show her how to use a lasgun properly
>>
>be me
>Holutax van Gaulk
>Inquiring Multiplexer of the Sacred Temple
>spent years trying to please the Omnissiah, or if nothing else, to fix great machines lost to time
>ended up fixing tanning beds and washing machines
>01010111 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100110 01100101 00100000 01100111 01101111 00111111.codex
>find out I got this job because I’m the most human looking of my brothers
>still talk behind my back about my appearance
>mildly regretting those auditory upgrades now
>get a comm link from management about something important
>don’t get much info, but hope it’s Archeotech related
>mfw it’s the receptionist’s cogitator again
>she says that it won’t turn on
>I could be a Enginseer with my skill
>but I might as well be a servo-skull for what they are having me do
>fml.binaryscream
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>>4858075
In loving this thread so far. I think I will read the older threads when I find the time.
>>
>Be Sister Valoria, member of Celestian Squad Burning Mercy.
>Have served in the past as poster pict material to show that no matter how dark the world can seem, one must always endeavor to persevere through even the most dire of consequences lest one become a slave to a world which they have no control over.
>It is with our images we will ignite the flames of those who view them fueling anyone from the houses of nobles to the humble guardsman in a trench who thinks they are alone to remind them they are never alone and they are why we fight and die for them for each of them are cherished.
>None amongst his flock are forgotten across humanity, it is their life that is the light of the Emperor himself.
>For in the darkest of night when viewed it is hoped that our images will be burned in to their eyes bringing forth the light of redemption that all of humanity must strive to meet lest we dishonor that which He has sought for us to strive for.
>I figure those who possess these posters must value their duty they contribute to the Imperium of Man.
>It is my duty to serve as needed to display my holy zeal as best as can be done when called upon to serve the Emperor of Mankind.
>-Sororitas Monthly Poster Special Edition Lenticular "Prayers and Litanies for a Wounded Soul"

>Battle hardened through the forge of war facing the soul less necrons across multiple tomb worlds who dare to exist in defiance of His name!
>Armed with combi flamer partnered with a power sword blessed through the holy litanies of prayer having been fasted over in the rights of holy purification.
>Acting under orders from Sister Superior Kathrien Sylune.
>Currently tasked with leading a group of Celestians in locating the origins of the pamphlets progenitors who created them for distribution.
>Celestian battle group weapons consist of bolter rifles / multi meltas / flamers / combi flamers / phosphor grenades.
>Observations within our theater of operations show that orbital bombartment and localized battles have leveled much of the Wonka Compound to dust.
>With most of the compound leveled, the scope of our search is now limited to the survivors to trace this wicked chain to its foul source.
>Where many would take a position to mop up the remnants of what heretical forces lie ahead, we march forward to engage the enemy face to face as the only way to gain further intel from this sordid rabble of the lost and the damned who still wander this forsaken land.
>We humbly seek to grant them the redemption they seek in their service to the Emperor of Mankind.
>>
>>4860929
>be me
>Guardsman Volk
>wake up in some random shuttle’s cargo bay wearing novelty glasses and suffering from a serious hangover
>can’t remember everything about the night before, but I remember something about a psyker riding a squig and something about a sister Hospitaller
>push myself off the crate I’m on and thank the emperor I’m still dressed
>I’m missing my helmet, but I’m pretty sure that waded used as a puke bucket last night
>feel the shuttle start to make it’s decent and start to hear battle hymns over a distant vox
>ohnoimgoingtotheecclesiarchy.vox
>notice that there isn’t any men singing as I get closer
>thingshavegottenworse.codex
>have a panic attack as I have no backup, and I’m going into a crazed group of bolter bitches
>run around the crates trying to find somewhere to hide
>find a crate labeled “For Authorized Use Only”
>it’s a crate filled with amasec
>wtfdotheyneedamasecfor.voxcast
>carefully climb into the crate and pray to the emperor that they don’t find me here
>if all else fails, pray that I can outrun bolter fire
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>>4857303
/tg/ jannies have been on the nofun warpath recently. Probably some newfag. Anyways welcome to qst. I like what you have here, gonna check out the archives.
>>
>>4860929
>be me
>Holutax van Gaulk
>Inquiring Multiplexer of the Sacred Temple
>been so busy fixing the awful tech here that I somehow missed that the sisters of battle are here
>what I wouldn't do to be maintaining their tech
>more fun than fixing elevators for the third time today
>deviousthought.omnissiah
>put "Out for Prayer" sign on my closet door
>grab my cogitator and servo-skulls
>hop on the back of a munitions truck on it's way to the sister's camp
>here's hoping that they actually have things for me to do there
>>
Bump