OH SHIT NIGGER. You're A SKELETON. On an ISLAND.what do
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4904464Put a lime in the coconut and shake it all up
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4904466Are you sure you can win against such a powerful foe?
Rolled 96, 6 = 102 (2d100)>>4904467the real final boss of the island, a lime in a coconut
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4904467Sometimes you just gotta bust a nut
>>4904469>>4904470You fools. You have made it even more powerful
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4904471toss it into that convenient whale over there
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4904472Roll 2d100 to toss
Rolled 2, 82 = 84 (2d100)>>4904478
Rolled 14, 77 = 91 (2d100)>>4904478
>>4904480Unfortunately you were never really good at throwing
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4904482Stare at the ocean and wait for rescue from the others
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4904488What's that screaming from over there
>>4904489You hear loud screams of anguish and despair"PLEASE! NO MORE!"As if it's a result of being forced to listen to terrible fanfiction
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4904493Tell those two lovebirds or something to shut up.
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4904493THATS ENOUGH, Camara pan to Shotasniffer
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4904493"JUST KILL ME YOU MONSTER"
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4904507OH GOD SHE NOTICED US, RUN
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4904513continue writing as you step on anon
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4904514>>4904513very important documents to write yes
>>4904514Oh no anon! I hope he's okay
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4904521he's fine, just being crushed to death as shotasniffer unknowingly appeals to his fetishhum the tune as you continue writing
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4904521Shotasniffer looks down at anon with disgust
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4904521How's that cookout going?
>>4904526With Luke manning the grill, things are going swimmingly.As long as there's no...complications
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4904529Complications like his brother dropping the spaghetti
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4904529Spike the punch with some random drugs, For a funny prank.
>>4904532Yes, that's right Luke. Time to prank your siblings. It'll be epic
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4904536NO LUKE NO! You're the chef! People are counting on you to make delicious food!
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4904536"Wait can skeletons even get high?"
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4904536>>4904537Yeah, think of what Big Sis would do to you if she finds out
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4904536WHAT? and break the grillers code of neutrality? NEVER
>>4904541That's right Luke! Do no listen to this devil! He seeks to lead you astray from the path of the grill! He is clearly a vegan
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4904542"Wait, What if I spiked the punch with sausages?"
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4904542devil, angel? I just want to grill for petes sake!
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4904542>>4904543Both a funny prank AND within the griller's code
>>4904543And even, perhaps, replace the punch with gravy too
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4904549YES
Rolled 37 (1d100)SS big song will be the perfect time, everyone will be distracted. But by putting BEEs wax in our ears(?) we will be unaffected
>>4904552"I dunno guys, that sounds kinda retarded"
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4904558we could drug the gravy
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4904558nah bro it makes complete sense you just gotta think really hard about it
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4904558"Yeah... We should mix the punch and the gravy together!"
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4904568Let's do it then
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4904568Time to enact our prank.
>>4904572"Hey bro, got the punch, where should I put it?"
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4904594next to me so that I can watch it
>>4904625"alright. Here you go."
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4904644switch it with the bowl of gravy you put under the table for just such an occasion
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4904645Roll 2d100 for seemingly no reason
Rolled 146, 190 = 336 (2d200)>>4904655
Rolled 95, 37 = 132 (2d100)>>4904655
>>4904657"Ey, whatcha doing over there? Need any help?"
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4904664Uh, not really, just taking some gravy for the barbecue
>>4904665"Oh then just tell me where to set it on the table. You got enough on your plate as is, having to cook for everyone. We ought to help out if possible"
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4904667Just put it next to the punch bowl and put labels on them so they're told apart
>>4904671"Okay. done! Lemme know if you need anything else"
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4904681plan to change the labels
>>4904683Anyway, OP gotta go out for a bit now. Will be back in like. 5 hours. Probably. updates b here n shit: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4904684Luke! Change to the BROWN faction, the Unified Sausage Sizzling Reenactors. Not a knock off of anything, totally original faction!
>>4904684luke you have been standing there for 5 hours
>>4904934he's just patient
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4904936Patient enough to get Ken in on the prank
>>4904943"Ey yo bro I'm just gonna pick up some snacks a----why are you looking at me like that"
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4904948that's some big spaghetti you have, would be a shame if it dropped due to you being socially awkward
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4904955Go to whale adventures with Olessa and jeanne
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4904968add anime music
>>4904972Insert your own weeb music here. I gotta bow out early, much apologizes, but something came upWill continue tomorrow
>>4904978What is 4 breads
>>49071324 breads is 4captchas because this new slider thing is breaking my balls
>>4907136Bring back picture captcha
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4907347wow that weeb music is intense
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4907355go back to ship
>>4907358>shipWe return to Ivanov and the USSR pirate crew.Currently donning their new official Shotasniffer approved uniforms
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4907368"You sure we should allow Jeanne to play her anime music over the loudspeaker?"
>>4907371"She says it'll help Olessa with the whole whale fight thing""Do you really believe that?""No, but I dont wanna get my kneecaps shot"
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4907380she seems to be singing horribly
>>4907384"Why must everything hurt, brother""Not everyone can sing like Big Sis Shotasniffer. Juuuust....endure it. Please"
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4907388endure it until big sis takes the stagethough you don't really remember her singing, only that it was the most melodious for 3 seconds until you blacked out completelythe girls remember it differently as the most chaotic night of their lives
>>4907396"Man I hope she sings again, the last time it happened it was the best 3 seconds of my life. Before I blacked out""Yeah.....Wonder why the rest of our sisters refereed to it as the night of the Simps tho"
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4907400And why Bobby started screaming every time any mention is made of her voice from that point on, speaking of which, aren't supposed to find him and lock him up
>>4907403"intel says he's inside that whale""Ah so that's why Olessa's fighting it....I thought she just wanted to fish"
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4907408"YOU WON'T ESCAPE ME, WHALE, YOU WILL BE MINE"
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4907417man, this is the worst day in your life. first the yellow visitor gave you an upset stomach, then on your way to give him back some shadow girl attacked you for no reason, and now a skimpy green skeleton lady is singing anime tunes horribly
>>4907419Should have stayed in bed this morning
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4907427Meanwhile, Bobby
>>4907429Having made enemies of the people living inside the whale. Bobby has been condemned to The Pit
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4907439That aint't good for that little rascal
>>4907444What also aint good is my internet right now.Thread suspend until my net magically turn not shituntil then, updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladinmuch apologies
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4907453Uh, Luke? Did you put the coconut next to the grill?
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>49074537 hours in the Pit.
>>4909789it can't be
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4909791But it is what it is, Bobby!
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4909811Light a match as is customary for deep dark areas
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4909820ok, seems safe so far-oh hi uncle zebra
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4909820it's forbidden place
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4909820Oh shit! We saw something!
>>4909824Forbidden?! But why?A. Because it's the colonB. There's an ancient evil sealed in here. Somehow.C. This is where the Quattro fanclub lives, heretics banished by the Shotasniffer fanclub aboveD. [Insert your own forbidden lore here]
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4909830>C. This is where the Quattro fanclub lives, heretics banished by the Shotasniffer fanclub above
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4909830>>4909831Also A and D(Zebra)
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4909830D wet paint
>>4909834"Welcome to the Whale Asshole, stranger. Are you a Quattro fan?"
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4909842It's me, uncle
>>4909843"Bobby?! What are you doing inside a whale asshole?"
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4909845I told a town Shotasniffer sucked and Quattro ruled
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4909845I thought it was dragon asshole!
>>4909852"How do you mistake a whale for a dragon?"
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4909866I got eaten before I could see it okay
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4909866Because everybody know that dragons have real huge assholes.
>>4909874>>4909869"So anyways. What brought you down here? Finally visiting your dear old uncle?"
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4909884uh-wait did you just say quattro fan club
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4909884got a smoke?
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4909891smoke and think about your life choices
>>4909893When did it go so wrong
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4909901flashback ensues
>>4909905Yes. Back during the Skeleton Island Wars. When the yellows was still in the running. When big bro was still a contender. When the Yellows were still respected
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4909912"Wow, Quattro, Shotasniffer sure got spanked hard, there's no way she'll ever recover!"
>>4909915"Haha yes Bobby! I even beat her in single hand to hand combat! There's no way for us to go but up! The reds are doomed and Shotasniffer is likely to be the first to be eliminated!"
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4909918and now figure out why it gone wrong
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4909918And since Luke clearly hates Lilly and Ken gave up on Marian, we'll keep winning! We don't even NEED an assistant!
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4909918Punch self in face
>>4909932"Ahaha, classic Bobby. It's clearly smooth sailing from here bro. Luke clearly hates Lilly and will never serve her and Marian's own vice president just took off with all his mechs. We got this in the bag. Hell we probably can just chill out while they take eachother down"
>>4909937and then while bobby wasn't looking Quattro started doing dumb stuff
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4909937>>4909940
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4909937>>4909943meanwhile both Betty and the Dojo Master start being irritated at Quattro for being dumb
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4909937Wait, how can out skulls squish via facepunch if they got no soft tissue? IMMERSION BROKEN
>>4909945It's a romanticized flashback, nigga
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4909947>>4909944
>>4909947Romance is gayShouldn't whales asshole explode due to all the methane and us lighting a torch?
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4909947Where are the fluffy cloud border you hack!
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4909947needs more fabulous Quattro then
>>4909948"I dunno sis.I know we're laid back and all but don't you think he's resting a bit too much on his laurels?""Weellll, I do agree that it seems like we're a bit too lazy sometimes. But I'm sure Quattro has a plan! Don't you worry. Surely he wont get his ass beat repeatedly and then try to nuke the island or something"
>>4909954And the sad conclusion
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4909954Finally you know the real reason why it all went wrong!Clearly nobody else in Yellow had faith in Quattro and tried to sabotage him!Especially Betty, that traitor!
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4909954Well that didn't work out, but hey, at least we triedFrankly I doubt Quattro would be much of a ruler to begin with
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4909954Kick self in face
>>4909962SMACK"Ahaha! Good ol' Bobby. You're the best"
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4909964>>4909958
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4909964In retrospect, maybe hitting ourselves in the head every hour might have had adverse effects on our health
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4909967>>4909964
>>4909964Time to escape the whale before the REALY cringe memories come in force
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4909972Keep forgetting to roll
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4909975Wait, this is the Quattro Fan Club?
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4909975Well good thing methane isn't a highly flammable gas, eh Zebra?
>>4909979"Iunno. I dropped out of school"
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4909983*kaboom*
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4909983so why are you in the Quattro Fan Club
>>4909986"Oh I'm not. I just fell down here and couldn't get out"Sure hope a comedic explosion wouldn't interrupt this moment of levity for Bobby and Zebra
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4909991>>4909985Meanwhile...AND I WILL MAKE YOU MY PET AND WE CAN RIDE THE SEAS WHILE WE FISH TILL THE EN-
>>4909993MY GOD! THAT WHALE'S ASS EXPLODED! SENDING ITS WHALE ASS PART FLYING EVERYWHERE! OLESSA IS YELLING SOMETHING BUT NOBODY CAN HEAR THROUGH JEANNE'S TERRIBLE SINGING
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4909996Cut to a random traumatized skeleton
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4909996...file that under never mention it again
>>4909998".....so. Burn all records of this expedition?""Yes."
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4910005Show us where the treasure is!
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4910005the explosion has also thrown the entire town to the island, just when the bettys have finished "roasting"
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4910005Oh hey Shotasniffer is singing now!
>>4910006BUt anon. Don't you see. The real treasure was the friends we made along the
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4910013BOOOOO>>4910008
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4910013One peice
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4910013Yeah...oh hey! Shotasniffer is singing now!
>>4910020OP is then crushed by a piece of whale ass for being a hack fraud.Thread will continue later. Toodles
>>4910023Suddenly we see Shotasniffer's brother in jailFor reasons need not be said
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4910558Forgot to roll
>>49100239 hours since Bobby exploded
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4913510check the main plot progress
>>4913533What main pl--I uh mean. The party's almost ending. All that's left is for Shotasniffer to perform her new song and everyone can just chill out until getting back to work tomorrow. Bobby exploded out of a whale ass.Quattro and Marian still stuck on the moon. In the middle of a Moon War
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4913546Hold it!Where's the limbo contest? The food eating contest? The punch/gravy joke?AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, WHY ISN'T SHE>>4904664>>4904667>>4904681>>4904684 HULA DANCING?!?!?!?!
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4913546>Quattro and Marian still stuck on the moon. In the middle of a Moon WarIsn't that a gaiden spinoff which was released later skeleton island 2?
>>4913546>Meanwhile at the Shotasniffer begins singingBrother, I feel unexplained dread, why?
>>4913550FUCK YOU TWO(O)!
>>4913552Pre-order now and you get your own replica Quattro glasses
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4913562Deal!
>>4913570Wait, what's that in the secret compartment of the box?
>>4913575There is no secret compartment
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4913582Alright, but there is I will be miffed
>>4913588Don't worry anon.You can trust OP
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4913595Alright, I put these sunglasses on OP and move to the rumble bumble Shotasniffer on stage
>>4913598Good thing he didn't find the feet pics
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4913618aw fuck I blanked outwhere is the gaiden game thomore importantly tho, where did all anons gone?do quattro sunglasses scare them off?Because Quattro got the new game? Other one
>>4913653Don't worry. I passed out too. It's late. So let's slip into a coma together and continue this in the morning
>>4913663That's good plan, let all responsibilities go awaywho wants to deal with them anyway. It's finally chill outside after hot daywe earned some good sleep
>>4913679take care OP, hopefully I'll be able to participate properly next time.
>>4913663>morningwhat's a morning
>>4914389It's a mystery
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4914629Like the mystery of the gravy punch
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4914641after 6 hours it starts to smell
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4914884luke why are you doing this
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4914884ssssshhhould've put it into refrigerator
>>4914890It's fiiiiiiiiiiiiine.Time has barely passed
>>4914901or is iiiiit?yesterday's coma was nice.time for food coma
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4914901>>4914904
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4914901>>4914904fug
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4914914LUKE DON'T SUDDENLY FAINT AND LEAVE ME ALONE
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4914914sausage fest intensifies
>>4914919"Ey bro, you need anythin?""Yes. You shall partake in my salami""wat"
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4914933oh no, he's in full sausage addict mode with no one to stop him
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4914933sausages for everyone
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4914952he already got ken
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4914952meanwhile on the moon
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4914957>>4914955
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4914957that's a big sausage
>>4914960"STAY STILL QUATTRO! WE CAN GET THROUGH THIS!"[panicked screaming]
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4914971WOW. THERE IS ACTUAL BUDGET FOR ROBOTSLET'S FUCKIN GOOOOOOahemNow that's a team up. What's the battle plan? Show me BP point conditions.
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4914971>>4914973Objective: SurviveBP: Don't get spotted by your mom, dad or grandma
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4914984go to chosen one being drunk on coffee somehow and lilly instead
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4914984aw damn, can't wait for full releaseStill more budget than Super Robot Pilot 4
>>4914991Yes.Which is zero
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4915003>>4914985
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4915003still better than being in red, which could've happened thanks to unpopularity of SRP3
>>4915005"...AAAaaaanNDDDDd THEN, theeeeese Fuuuaaarrrkin muthafurckers had the FUCKING GAAAL!....to fffffucking make me pay for shipping! Ffffor FUCKING SHIPPING! Can you believe that shit, Lilly?!""uuuhhhh"
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4915015Language
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4915015>>4915016realize you are the only sane one right now
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4915023proceed with the plot alone thenearn all the credit for yourself
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4915037Imagine all the headpats you'll get for job well done
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4915037>>4915038but do you even like them
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4915067at least there is no hand holding, it'd be banned in over 50 countries right now
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4915067try to figure out what's going on with everyone and gather them for the big finale your big sister is going to perform>>4915070especially with a little girl
>>4915073>especially with a little girllittle girl adds another 100 countries
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4915078lilly you dirty-minded little girlyou've been hiding that from your older siblings have you not
>>4915083Luckily nobody can find out.Unless Luke or Olessa can read minds. But that'll never happen.
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4915108>>4915073
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4914933 HULA DANCING!>>4915108>>4913550
>>4915111Well you know that Chosen One's drunk and Luke's manning the grill. So they're accounted for
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4915125Betty's still doing that roast thing?
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4915138ok that's the audience area sorted out, go to Luke's grill to see if there's anyone else there>>4915117
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4915138Give Chosen One quadruple espresso coffee, he real need it.
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4915164he drinks itand gets a speed boost
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4915164He starts seeing the future.
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4915186LILLY, IT IS TIME TO GATHER OUR SIBLINGS FOR THE FINAL EVENT."Oh god. I made the dork even dorkier."
>>4915196"QUICKLY NOW, DEAR SISTER. THE PERFORMANCE MUST COMMENCE. WE SHALL ALL BE BLESSED BY BIG SIS' ANGELIC SINGING"
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4915208put up construction headphones and get the fuck away
>>4915212"THAT's RIGHT, CHILD. RUN! RUN LIKE THE WIND! INFORM OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS! THE TIME OF RECKONING DRAWS CLOSER!"WILL LILLY BE ABLE TO STOP THE MASS HYPNOSIS THAT WILL SURE TO HAPPEN IF SHOTASNIFFER IS ALLOWED TO SING?!WILL THE MOON WAR GET ACTUAL SCREENTIME?AND WILL ANON FINALLY GET HIS SCENE OF HULA HOOP DANCING?FIND OUT NEXT TIME WHEN THREAD CONTINUES. WHENEVER THAT ISupdates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4915236Top-notch shit, OP. Thanks for running.
>>4915236WARN YOU SISTERS, LILLY! THE NIGHT OF THE SIMPS 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO IS NIGH!
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4915236FEED ME
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>492122320 HOURS WE HAVE SUFFERED FOR THE SONG
>>4922242BUt have you?Have you really?
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4922282"WE SHALL RISE TO HER BLESSING, THE SONG SHALL COMMENCE"
>>4922283"LUKE YOU GOTTA PUT HEADPHONES ON""NO I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING TO THE FRUIT PUNCH...I uh I mean...WHAT"
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4922285Don't tell him Big Sis's going to sing or else he will never put them onMake an excuse
>>4922286"so, why do I have to put headphones on?"OH SHIT THINK FASYT
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4922287something like loud noise coming from the stage later, like uh a butthurt whale
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4922287Enlist the aid of viet cong guerillas
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4922292You turn to a nearby tree, roll 2d100 to summon the vietcong
Rolled 70, 62 = 132 (2d100)>>4922295
Rolled 18, 88 = 106 (2d100)>>4922295
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4922308Make some noise
>>4922310"WE'RE BEING ATTACKED! QUICK LILLY! GET TO COVER!"
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4922321He hides, not knowing the vietcong are actually your sisters firing with blanks
>>4922323"Alright, stay still. We'll wait for a chance to counter attack"
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4922329why is ken here
>>4922331*muffled "hi Lilly" *
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4922336why is there a wiener jammed down your throat
>>4922339"I dunno. Luke thought I should get dinner early I guess"
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4922342Think about how lewd it looks.
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4922342at least you can warn both now>>4922346
>>4922347"You guys need to put headphones on. Also Ken looks mighty gay right now""pardon"
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4922354like, marian-level gay
>>4922360"Lilly, what the hell are you talking about"
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4922365blame marian for it
>>4922366"WHAT DID MARIAN DO"
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4922372everything.
>>4922374MEANWHILE, ON THE MOONMarian suddenly gets a chill down his spine
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4922382might as well make everyone mad at marian, betty and big sis already are
>>4922387WILL MARIAN EVER ESCAPE THIS HELLSCAPE CALLED HIS LIFE? FIND OUT IN ABOUT....10ish HOURS. OP GOTTA GO NOW BYE
>>492239210 hours of Marian being doomed again
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4922392The Moon Wars end when the prince and princess of the respective rivals declare to be in love and end the war, Romeo and Juliet style.
OP was a dumbass and overslept.Thread will take another 8 hours to continue. Because work stuff. shieeet
>>49234298 hours have passed since marian was destroyed
>>4923701Say it aint so
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4923709emotionally
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4923718back to lilly
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4923711That'll tend to happen when chunks of vietcongs comes flying into your wind shield from some guy's scream
>>4923720Luke's rage filled scream has caused the Vietcong, who are definitely not just your sisters making pew pew noises, to disperse. He's currently delirious, if you wanna put headphones on him, now would be a good time
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4923730do it
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4923733ROLL 2d100
Rolled 66, 84 = 150 (2d100)>>4923736oh yeah you're bad at basketball
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4923743QUICK, PRETEND TO BE INJURED TO LURE HIM
>>4923745"LILLY! YOU OKAY?"
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4923752NOW! GET HIM!
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4923754Success yes?
Rolled 18, 80 = 98 (2d100)>>4923760
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4923774put one for ken now
>>4923778Luckily he's not in any position to argue
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4923783now go find Rasputin, the reason why you wore headphones in the first place
>>4923785"I'M SORRY OKAY? FOR TRYING TO KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY! AND ALSO FOR PUTTING A PINEAPPLE ON A PIZZA! JUST LET ME DIE""Later. We haven't got to the part where Marian tries to write a romance scene""AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4923790give one to Boy immediately
>>4923792Boy seems to already have a pair of headphones on. Thanks to that weird armored lady that keeps hanging around Rasputin. Who strangely has the same hair style as Jeanne.In any case. Thread will continue in about 12 hours because OP gotta go now. Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4923800How long has he suffered? Maybe 12 hours
OP forgot to set his alarm clockAs he is an idiot
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4924980Let's see how The Boy is doing.
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4924980what a coincidence
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4924993hearing nothing as people are explaining the situation on the final event
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4925009And now he's being told to put headphones on the other kids
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4925030just do it
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4925038now how do we convince rasputin
>>4925040"Oh hey Lilly. What are you doing out here? You should be back at the party area, enjoying yourself"
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4925055I just think it would be better if you wear earmuffs while tormenting that guy down there since he'll see them and know he won't get the mercy, suffering more and more until he breaks
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4925075"The headphones also have little horns to match you mask."
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4925075>>4925078and after every page you ask him what he thinks of it
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4925084now do that
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4925086"hmmmmmmmmmm"Roll to convince+20 bonus
Rolled 36, 46 = 82 (2d100)>>4925093
>>4925096Suddenly the headphones exploded
>>4925109God damn chinese headphones
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4925109wait who made the-"IT IS I, THE CHOSEN ONE"
>>4925111"YOU HERETICS DARE TO BLOCK OUT THE SOUNDS OF OUR GLORIOUS LEADER?"
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4925122HE GOT LUKE AND KEN
>>4925123"Yeah, he just came in screaming and took our headphones off""Dunno what was that about"
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4925128Chosen One needs to calm down, RasputinFeed him a CHILL PUNCH
>>4925130"You're gonna need to chill out, Chosen One.""HERETIC""I'm going to punch you now"
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4925136ONE PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4925146well, better warn our sisters
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4925146>>4925150what this guy said
>>4925150As Lilly runs off to warn the rest of the siblings of the oncoming simpocalypse. We return to anon and his exciting adventures
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4925155anon hears the first few verses of shotasniffer's song
>>4925156Anon is now a simp
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4925162get back to the main story, OPI want out of this vacation arc and back to the Moon War
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4925162>>4925163the moon war IS the side story
>>4925164well, being on vacation for the last three threads has gotta be done SOMETIME holy fuck I feel like we're stuck
>>4925163C'mon now anon. YOu gotta let the skellies rest.Definitely this is the reason.Not because we don't have budget for the moon war or anything and OP is a lazy fuck. Definitely not that
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4925167well, get on with final concert thingyI've been waiting
>>4925169Yes of course, of course
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4925175is this gonna be a skill check for Shotasniffer? on raping our sibling's ears or singing a beautiful lullaby?
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4925176>>4925175the skill check is for someone not fucking it up for everyone
Rolled 198 (1d1000)>>4925176Obviously, singing a beautiful lullaby that would turn any man hearing it into a simp is a no brainer.The skillcheck is to see if anything fucks up the concertRoll 2d1200
Rolled 553 (1d1200)>>4925181Okay.
Rolled 846, 728 = 1574 (2d1200)>>4925181OH GOD WE'RE TOO LATE
Rolled 225, 391 = 616 (2d1200)>>4925181Well, Rasputin handled most of it right?
>>4925186>>4925187>>4925185The concert goes off without a hitch. Shotasniffer's voice is so powerful that even though all the males had headphones on, they can still hear the song. But it at least nerfed the song enough that they don't completely lose their minds and devolve into savage simps.
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4925200hey, as long as some idiotic, yellow-shirted, dumbass skeleton doesn't ruin it for everyone
>>4925201Luckily that doesn't happen and the vacation ends with everyone happy and sastified
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4925213except bobby
>>4925215Who exploded out of a whale asshole and zipped off to parts unknown. Oh well.Join us tomorrow where we may actually go to the moon and watch Marian and Quattro be actually cool for once.Probably.updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4925220so basically the final chapter
>>4925200That's my girl
>>4925220What is a tomorrow
>>4926415a social construct
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4926440Like Marian's dignity
Thread's gonna be delayed for 1 more day because OP does not know how to manage time
>>4928102now's the time
that must be some really shitty tech
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4928102Open the door, get on the floorEverybody walk the dinosaur
>>4928102where's the fucking thread
OP may have accidentally passed out for half a day
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4931770So did the rest of the cast
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4931775Wake up lazy bones
>>4931778Rolling away from responsibilities
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4931784How about that moon mission, that might get some more excitement into this.
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4931784>>4931808what moon mission, there is no moon mission and don't turn on the tv
>>4931808Yes. The moon mission. The mission on the moon. The mission that Quattro and Marian has to survive an all out war between their parents, their grandma, and an alien empire.That moon mission
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4931810better get to the High Church of Bread for safety
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4931810Oh dear, better take a drink, Quattro.
>>4931812>>4931813yeah quattro really needs a drink
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4931810Quattro drink some cola mixed with vodka.
Rolled 763 (1d1000)>>4931812"Marian! Get to the church! We can bunker down in there!"CAN THEY? ROLL 2d1000
Rolled 271, 159 = 430 (2d1000)>>4931818but they hate me
Rolled 974, 789 = 1763 (2d1000)>>4931818REGROUP BROTHERS
>>4931821Marian managed to navigate the way to the church without running into trouble
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4931826Damn, Gunbuster G V2 looks fuckin' sick
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4931826>>4931828bask in the adoration (hatred) from your adoring fans (heretics against SRQ3)
>>4931828>>4931830The G in Gunbuster G V2 stands for GundamnBamco plz dont sue me
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4931832Now Quattro, make that fuckin' martiniyou earned it buddy
>>4931833Jumping off Marian's mech as soon as they reach the church, Quattro makes a beeline to the kitchen to get himself a drink. But he then comes face to face with!A. Alien scouting partyB. Remnants of the bread cultC. a bombD. nothing, it's just a regular kitchen
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4931839C. but wrapped around the liquor
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4931847bread cult shows up to take all the bread for evac
>>4931850"QUICKLY BROTHERS! WE MUST TAKE ALL THE BREAD---"
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4931857"SOMEONE FROM THE ISLAND, QUICK, HELP US!"
>>4931859"SURELY YOU MUST ALSO KNOW OF THE GREAT BREAD PROPHET MARIAN"
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4931864I thought you shot him out for liking bad anime
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4931864what about the fucking bomb, we're gonna have like less than 20 seconds to disarm it
>>4931870"Bomb?""oh shit that wasn't there before"
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4931875quick disarm it
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4931875You dumbass bread niggers, LOOK AT THE TIMEQuattro get on disarming it; can't let good alcohol go to waste
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4931876WHO CAN DISARM IT?ROLL 2D1000 TO HAVE QUATTRO JUMP IN TO TRY AND SAVE THE ALCOHOL
Rolled 852, 547 = 1399 (2d1000)>>4931879jump in?oh no
Rolled 58, 261 = 319 (2d1000)>>4931879>>4931881I believe in this guy's rollbut fuck it let's ROLL ANYWAYS
>>4931881This disarms the bomb somehow
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4931887drink in victory
>>4931888"Ah, I get it now""He's an alcoholic"
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4931891didn't you throw out marian anyway
>>4931893"Yeah that's why we were asking if you knew him""So we can beat him up"
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4931895Marian shows up
>>4931896"Yo Quattro I think we can hide here for a while, nobody's paying any attention to this ch--"
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4931898"GET HIM"Drunkenly contact the island while Marian gets beaten up
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4931900"Hello?"
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4931903Betty, can you take this call, Rasputin and Chosen One are still being calm for some reason
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4931906translate drunk language
>>4931908"He says that the situation on the moon is dire. Especially now that somehow, an alien empire has arrived. Mom, dad, grandma and them is having an all out battle. He and Marian managed to shelter themselves inside one of the church that Marian used to ran when he was still a televangelist""burrrrpppp""Oh and now Marian's being beaten up by his former congregation"
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4931918Why did I only hear this now, why did no one repo-TV report calling for help from Shotasniffer about the moon war comes on
next adventure when
>>4931921WHen you pay me
>>4931920"HOLY SHIT THE MOON'S FUCKED! WHERE IS THE GREAT HEROINE SHOTASNIFFER IN OUR TIME OF NEED?"
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4931926is there anything worth saving thereplease don't tell me everyone on earth is looking towards me to save the world from Dad and Grandma
>>4931932"SAVE US SHOTASNIFFER! EVERYONE ON EARTH IS ASKING FOR YOUR HELP"
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4931947Don't they have any other heroes
>>4931951"ALL OTHER HEROES..."A. Are in the hospital due to some big fight or whateverB. Went off to deep space to fight some space dude or whateverC. Are seen as not as cool and powerful as ShotasnifferD. Are also calling for ShotasnifferE. [insert your own reason here]F. All of the above
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4931960F
>>4931963Ah yes, some heroes are in the hospital due to being involved in some big fight. The stronger ones headed off into deep space to fight some space villain and hasn't returned. Some are considered not even on the same tier and can't really help anyway, such as street level vigilantes and whatnot. They have resigned themselves to be the same as the civilians and calling for Shotasniffer. Oh and also [insert your own reason here]
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4931968Some are still in the party mood from the party held just now
>>4931972Yes. Some heroes participated in the party.They are now all drunk off their asses
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4931975your brothers as well, apparently
>>4931976They're drunk on...something different. At least they're not as rowdy as before
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4931981so what do we do now, should we answer their call or wait until it blows over
>>4931984ONe option will lead you to be in the final battle while the other one will have Quattro and Marian do it
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4931986really try to press the slack off button but by some dumb accident bobby presses the final battle instead
>>4931991And so Bobby starts the Moon WarJoin us next time to see if he gets a kick to the face
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4932001yes he does
>>4932002Who knows, it's a mystery. JOin in about i unno. 12-ish hours to see
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4932011oh ok
>>4933007Mystery Solved. He was kicked in the face.Tune back in another 12 hours for the actual continuation. OP gotta wageslave
>>4933041will bobby and SS finaly make peace in the final arc?
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4933041>>4933154no
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4933504then don't send a threatening video to the moon challenging the people fighting into a war, bobby
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4933517FLASHBACK
>>4933520FLASH BACKBobby has just managed to crawl back to shore
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4933524discover space thing
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4933535Shout threats into it randomly about how you all suck before they can even call for help.
>>4933538Bobby yelled insults into the communicator, but he somehow also accidentally tuned it into the frequency of an Alien Empire. He then insulted their mothers
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4933554And he also insulted their outfits and faces.
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4933554>>4933558god damn it bobby
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4933554He also tells them the people they're fighting are his family, and they should be scared of them like the little pussies they are."And why are you now tied up while your sisters are prepared to beat the shit out of you for calling everyone in the moon war on us?""NO REASON"
>>4933560>>4933559>>4933558Yes. He indeed did all of these.
>>4933564>>4933564apparently he stole the image too
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4933569Let's get Shotasniffer to the moon on Equality Prime V2
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4933569Back to Shotasniffer, Betty, Lilly, Olessa and Jeanne about to beat him up
>>4933572Taking the ol' elevator up to the cockpit.Boy, sure is great that our Moon Base teleporter still works. This way we can save on fuel and rockets to get up there. Plus whenever the rest of the men snaps out of their daze they can provide backup
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4933592Now you just have the womenAnd Bobby as a peace offering
>>4933597Unfortunately for Bobby, this means he has to go back into the box
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4933605TO THE MOONIT'S FINALLY TIME
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4933605>>4933610be less than enthusiastic about the trip
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4933605Inside the box contain an wolverine.
>>4933612Starting to miss the beach already
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4933630Ok, all you have to do is to offer Bobby to the empire as an apology, get everyone out and then....crud.
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4933630>>4933633what this guy said
>>4933640Yes.....there's still the matter of Mom and Dad and also your 2 grandmas
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4933645Especially Dad and his momDiscuss how do we deal with them without somehow getting beaten up by them or losing the chance to be the top of the heroes for some villain stuff I dunno
>>4933649Alright nerds, got any ideas
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4933666Have Shotasniffer beat everyone up, that's how this family works.
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4933666>666Blame everything on Bobby, Quattro or Marian>>4933669Commuting suicide is not an option.
>>4933672we're skeletons dumb dumb
>>4933669"Yeah! Just beat everyone up!""She's right. You have to show dominance""It's what dad would have wanted"
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4933683Last time I tried it, I ended up having to sleep face down for weeks
>>4933688"That just means you have experience!""In getting your ass bea---I mean, fighting"
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4933700Okay, but your asses are getting beat too. I need all the help I can get dealing with mom, dad and grandmas.
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4933700"I'm sure they're really people who follow strength and won't throw a tantrum or cheat. Or be assholes."
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4933719Sorry Lilly, but we need to go save our brothers and you're my #1 sister.
>>4933724"....but do we REALLY need to save Quattro and Marian tho"
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4933732We need someone to compare to to make everyone fell better about themselves
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4933732>>4933736
>>4933737>>4933736Damn that's a good point
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4933738ARE WE READY SISTERS?URAAAAAAAH!
>>4933740Morale increases as you engage in a group screaming session over the comms. Meanwhile, you are being teleported to the moon
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4933749oh boy, time for budget
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4933776Meet with empire
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4933776>>4933777what this guy said
Rolled 756 (1d1000)>>4933777ROLL 2d1200
Rolled 695, 936 = 1631 (2d1200)>>4933793
>>4933798>>4933793oh jeez, I hope this peace offering is good enough
>>4933798Making yer way through the battlefield unscathed
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4933816Find the empire's main leader dude
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4933816Greet the leader by offering Bobby for kicking
>>4933819Over there! That biggest ship being flanked by a bunch of other ones! That must be it
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4933827Initiate comms
>>4933831"Who the hell are you?!"
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4933840Someone who has who you want in a box ready to be offered
>>4933845"Unless you have that skeleton who insulted our mothers AND the skeletons that's been killing my men, I am not interested.....In fact you look mighty skeletal yourself, lady"
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4933856Well, this is THE skeleton you want. Show him bobby in a box.
>>4933857[incomprehensible yelling]"GUYS! LOOK! IT'S THAT ASSHOLE WHO INSULTED OUR MOTHERS!"
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4933866Now, do we have a peace treaty in exchange for me giving you.. Bobby?
>>4933870"Who are you? What's your game? What do you gain from this? This deal is a bit too good to be true and too convenient"
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4933874I am Shotasniffer and unless you want me to wreck your entire fleet, you would be wise to take this offer.
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4933874Bobby somehow break out the box and is heading straigth for the enemy with a lot of firepower.
Rolled 252 (1d1000)>>4933881"YOU DARE TO INTIMIDATE THE EMPIRE?"Roll 2d1200
Rolled 831, 406 = 1237 (2d1200)>>4933888YES, I THINK I WILLURAAAAAAAAH
Rolled 1135, 933 = 2068 (2d1200)>>4933888Scare him in spooky way.
>>4933890>>4933892"o-okay.W-we accept your offer"
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4933896Fuckin' simpsGive them Bobby, then we gotta find Quattro and Marian.
>>4933899After beaming Bobby up onto their command ship. The Alien Empire starts its retreat! That went better than expected. No complications or whatever. That's a first
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4933914The first of many unexpected victories. There's no way Bobby can come back from that.
>>4933916Anyway. Seeing their enemies suddenly retreat without explanation should left your parents and grandmas confused for a bit. Time to go find your brothers
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4933923Look for a giant green mech
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4933930Damn, what is that huge Mech looking silhouette under that tarp?
Rolled 45 (1d100)drop a few coins on the ground and see if Marvin comes to pick them up
>>4933932Yeah but that tarp aint green. So it can't be Marian! Can it?
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4933933>>4933934Marian*
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4933934Well just take the tarp off
Rolled 436 (1d1000)>>4933941Roll 2d1200 to take the tarp off
Rolled 1170, 45 = 1215 (2d1200)>>4933943>tfw we're about to take out gunbuster G AGAIN
>>4933961MEANWHILE, INSIDE THE CHURCH WHERE MARIAN IS BEING BEATEN UP"GET THE FUCK OFF ME, ASSHOLES! SOMEBODY TRYNA FUCK WITH MY MECH"
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4933982Oh now Marian's ANGRYIf only he could be that strong all the time.
>>4933987He immediately jumps into his mecha and engages in combat. Getting beaten up the past few hours probably scrambled something inside his noggin', he doesn't recognize you!
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4933993Well, we need to subdue Marian and Gunbuster G without actually destroying Marian and Gunbuster G. APPLY FIST TO FACE UNTIL WE CAN REMIND WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME HE FOUGHT US IN A MECH BATTLE
>>4933996Gotcha......disabling all Equality Prime weapons except for hand-to-hand combatAaaaand we'll continue this later. Whenever later is. Since it's 4AM and I gotta wageslave in the morning. shieeeet
>>4934010What will happen with Bobby? THAT- will never be shown on this quest ever because nobody cares.
>>4934354That kid just ain't right
>>4934010Gunbuster's gonna get spanked
>>4934920that boy aint right
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4937219yup
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4937234Skelly-of-the-Hill spinoff coming soon(tm)
>>4937238Will enter broadcasting right after Half Life 3 is released
>>4937241On my calendar. Now back to the main event.