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Your name is David "Gunny" Rockefeller, no relation.
A veteran of the united states marine corps, you find yourself in a far-out situation after an all-too-close encounter of the third kind!

In the last thread, you and Gron made your way to a nearby nebula, searching for a teammate of his who'd been captured by local pirates.
However, after getting there, the first thing you encountered was something much worse than any ol' pirate.

After taking care of "them", now you're busy with the aftermath. And you still need to get that crewmember back.

>Last Thread: https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2022/5165346/
>All Threads: https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?searchall=humanity+-+fuck+yeah%21
>Discord Link: https://discord.gg/DMwvMw43yv
>>
>>5211973
>>5213826

"Well, now's your chance. I know biology isn't your strong suit, but we don't have an in-house doctor here. These things are pretty weird though, so i'm not sure it matters... Anyways, i want you to see what you can find out about them before we go turning them into equipment."

"Sure, sure. Wouldn't want to attract unwanted attention, now would we?" Sanig chuckles.

"Yeah, no kidding. These things have mind-control powers too, so who knows if turning their hides into a jacket would have some subtle influence on your brain? Ah, that reminds me, actually..."

Gildur wakes up just in time to see you lean down and grab one particular wraith by the throat and plunge your blade into it's skull. The sound of you digging through it's grey matter causes him to faint for a second time.

"Kid, i don't know if you understand how exploratory surgery works, but this isn't good for the process."

"Ah, got it!"

After a bit of digging, you pull a small, jet-black pearl out of the wraith's head. It almost looks like a piece of obsidian, but there's something weird about it.

"...What is that thing?" Sanig asks, leaning in to look more closely.

"I don't know. But i do know that if you stab them around this thing, they die almost instantly. It must be important."

"Good to know. But still, this is... worrying. Just be careful with that thing, will ya?"

You know exactly what he means. Light is actively bending around the little black pearl, giving it a sort of "black hole effect" that, honestly, makes you kind of nervous for some reason.
Before doing anything else, Sanig runs off to grab a plastic vial for you to store it in.

"Alright, kid. We got the bodies in the new cargo bay for now. When the janitor wakes up, we'll get him to clean out the medical bay and move those damned birds out so we can actually use it for it's intended purpose. But what about the girl?"

"Is she awake yet?"

"Not yet, but i don't see any obvious brain damage besides the concussion you gave her. If that was all, she should have been awake by now."

Cylia, who's been leaning against the wall and listening to the two of you speak so far, speaks up.

"Of course she isn't awake yet. She got possessed."

"Come on now, girl. You don't really believe in all those old fairy tales, do you?"

"Don't believe me? Fine. Ask Kyla if it's a fairy tale or not. The same thing happened to her when she was younger."

"Yeah, she told me the same thing." You add. "She said it caused a change in her personality."

"That's because these things... feed on you, i guess. The old stories say that those who survive are changed, because something was taken from them. They aren't the same person after being attacked."

Now you're kind of curious.

"What else do these old stories say?"

"...There are plenty of silly ghost stories, of course. But there are also stories of entire worlds going dark overnight. Ships going missing after a failed jump..."
>>
>>5213828

"People disappearing without a trace after looking out the portholes during warp, and then reappearing out of nowhere some time later. Completely changed, like Kyla." Sanig adds. "Yes, we've all heard them... but it's still hard to believe."

"How hard can it be? You said you were attacked by them yourself, didn't you?"

"Sure. But that's all. They attacked, tore the crew limb from limb and disappeared. There was nothing strange about their behavior. Nothing like this."

You scratch your chin while you think for a moment.

"Hey, Sanig... was there any sort of power failure when they attacked? Radio interference, anything?"

Now it's Sanig's turn to think. It happened quite a long while ago after all.

"Might have been, come to think of it. Yes, i seem to remember the lights going out. Why do you ask?"

"That was them, too. Remember what i told you about what happened on the dodo planet?"

"The EMI? Kid, you were on a planet right next to a red dwarf. A little magnetic flux is nothing to be surprised about."

"Nah man, it's the fucking wraiths. Same thing happened on the ship back there. One or two isn't enough to do it, i think... but as soon as you get three or four in a room, they start blowing out lights and shutting down equipment, hard."

"Seriously? I've never heard of a living being generating EMI before. Interesting... very interesting! I'll definitely have to look into that."

"Guys?" Cylia interrupts. "What about Javan? Chances are, when she wakes up she's going to have a different personality. Who knows what's going to happen to her? And what are we supposed to tell Gron?"

>We tell him the truth. She got possessed, and she's lucky to be alive.
>Just tell him she took a bad blow to the head during combat. That's all.
>We don't say anything. Just wait for her to wake up, and send her on her way.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5213840
>We tell him the truth. She got possessed, and she's lucky to be alive.
>>
>>5213840
>>We tell him the truth. She got possessed, and she's lucky to be alive.
>>
>>5213840
>We tell him the truth. She got possessed, and she's lucky to be alive.
Yo dawg, you crew member got possessed by ghosts and your one crew memeber you though was alive is dead.

Hey werent there other ships in this system? Can we go bully and collect then while we're at it
>>
>>5213863
There are other ships, yes.
This is just the first one you went to.

One that was oddly distant from all the others for some reason.
Might have been a reason for that.
>>
>>5213870
>"Whatever it is, it's worth a shot. The next problem is that there's a lot of them. We don't know how many exactly, but given reports from locals who have been hit by them, they have at least seven or eight fighter craft."
Right. So this was the carrier, but the other ships are still active. Time to go for those other ships then, right?
>>
>>5213840
>We tell him the truth. She got possessed, and she's lucky to be alive.
it wont be that bad of a personality change because we saved her quick right? like at least faster than kyla did
>>
>>5213840
>We tell him the truth. She got possessed, and she's lucky to be alive.
lets see how he reacts to this. his information on the ship was so wrong that it could easily be an assassination attempt
>>
>>5213840
>We tell him the truth. She got possessed, and she's lucky to be alive.
No real reason to lie to the homie Gron
>>
>>5213826
Ahhh, love the new thread smell.
>>5213828
>Entire Worlds
Oh, what joy, that means its not just random backwaters like our Dodo pitstop.
>>5213840
>We tell him the truth. She got possessed, and she's lucky to be alive.
>It was a big fucker too, looked like a demon from MY culture, crawled out of throat.
>Show the horn we broke off
>If she wasn't a snake, she'd probably be dead.
>>
>The truth

Ah yes, thread ten, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Pet the Cat.
>>
Oh boy, new thread Thursday!?
>>
>>5213840
>>We don't say anything. Just wait for her to wake up, and send her on her way.
The joys of ignorance is way better than the weight of knowledge
>>
>>5213929
>homie
>we've interacted at most 2 hours with him
>homie
>>
>>5214114
Real homies always try to kill each other before becoming fast friends. It's how men do.
>>
>>5214130
Not always. Sometimes its surviving together against an external enemy that forges those bonds.
>>
>>5213840
>Just tell him she took a bad blow to the head during combat. That's all.
I wanna keep the wraith stuff on the down low
>>
>>5213840
>>We tell him the truth. She got possessed, and she's lucky to be alive.
>>
>>5213840

"What do you mean, what do we tell him?"

"I mean, if he finds out one of his crew got hurt while under our care..."

"That woman was responsible for her own safety. She chose to go out on a mission, knowing it was dangerous. Getting injured in the field happens sometimes. She was just unlucky."

"I don't think that's going to make him feel any better about it, David..."

"Regardless, i'm going to tell him exactly what happened, and if he's mad about it then he should do his job as their captain and make sure it doesn't happen again. How he does that is up to him."

Cylia looks like she's about to complain again, but Sanig stops her.

"Give it up, girl. He clearly doesn't give a shit."

You cross your arms in a huff.

"Making sure your crew is prepared is a captain's duty. Sure, there's no way anyone could have known there were wraiths on that ship, but we were prepared nonetheless, weren't we? After all, Cylia encountered one as well, and managed to kill it on her own."

If Sanig had any eyebrows, he would have raised one.

"Really? If it was the kid i wouldn't be surprised... Obviously."

He spreads his arms to make a point of the wraith corpses stacked around him.

"But you, girl? You took one of them out?"

Cylia blushes slightly and turns away, seeming embarrassed.

"Ah... well, y-yeah, i guess... although it nearly got me, first..."

"Hah. So even normal people can fight against them, if they're prepared enough. Interesting. Really interesting! I wonder if there's a market for this..."

"Hey, what do you mean by "normal" people? I don't like the implication." You chide.

"I'm not implying anything, kid. You're a straight up freak of nature. Everyone knows it, and don't try to pretend otherwise."

"Gee, thanks. No, really, i'm glad you think so highly of me."

"Don't get me wrong, kid. I don't dislike you or anything... but you're seriously scary. And that's coming from me."

"What do you mean, coming from you? There's nothing scary about an old man like you."

"See? That right there, that's part of it. No sense of self preservation, no a glint of fear behind those eyes. Even though you see us as people, even though you've never treated us badly... it's still like you're looking down at your prey. It's unsettling."

"...The fuck is he talking about? Cyl?"

Cylia scratches the side of her head, and doesn't immediately answer.

"Cylia?"

"Mmm... he's... not really wrong, i think."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we've all seen it. Whenever you get that look in your eye... you know, during training, or..."

Her voice trails off as she remembers something.

"Was i looking at you funny?"

"No, it's just..."

"There's a pressure, kid. Looking into your eyes when get like that, it's like we're staring down a slyvern's maw. And i can't even imagine what your actual enemies must feel when you face them down."

"Ah, that again? Man, don't get me all worried like that. Look, i'm not seeing you as prey, i'm just looking at you as an opponent."
>>
>>5214595

"That's exactly what it is, kid. You've got an apex predator's mindset, more than anyone i've ever seen."

You shake your head at him.

"Wrong. It's a warrior's mindset. They're similar, for sure, but not the same. I'm not just some wild beast, you know."

"Oh, i know. You've refined the act of ripping your opponent apart with your bare hands into a fine art."

"Yeah, that's exactly right. I am a predator, but i'm also a man, and a warrior. There's more to me than mere violence, that separates me from the wild beasts. I use my instinct to fight, but i don't fight using only my instincts."

"I'll be honest, kid. After seeing some of your combat footage, it's real hard to tell the difference. Seems to me like it doesn't matter whether you're fighting prey or predator, they're all the same in your eyes."

"Yeah, you're probably right about that." You admit. "But that's not the real problem, is it?"

"How do you figure?"

"The real problem isn't my strength, or my mindset. It's yours."

"...Oh really?"

"Yes, really. The only reason you feel that pressure is because you're acknowledging your own weakness. You know you'll lose, so you're afraid. You've got a loser's mindset."

Cylia and Sanig both fall silent for a moment as they contemplate what you said.

"...We're not like you, kid. We can't just rush ahead and plow through everything in our way. As nice as that would be..."

"Sure you can." You reply.

"Kid..."

"Don't "Kid" me. Who said you can't do it? That's not just a loser's mindset. It's defeatist!"

"Alright then, genius. How do you expect an old man like me to match up against someone like you?"

"Heh."

You can't help but chuckle heartily. So much so that it seems to get to the old man a bit.

"What's so funny?! You're the one who started talking all this good shit, so go ahead and explain yourself!"

"Old man, you built it yourself, didn't you?"

"What...?"

"The power armor. Who says it has to be piloted by a human? Who said it needs to be that size, or even that it needs to be human-shaped at all?"

"What are you on about, kid? We're not talking about war machines, are we?"

"Aren't we, though? Whether it's your body, your mind, or some tool... they can all be used as a weapon, can't they?
Sure, i might be one of the sharper crayons in the box, but most of my strength comes from diligent training, and nothing else. What about you, though?"

"Me? Where does my strength come from, huh...?"

"Think about it, Sanig."

"Heh. Hehaha!"

Now Sanig is the one laughing.

"Yeah, i get you, kid! I'm weak! Weak as hell, that's for sure! And i'll never match up in terms of strength! I never should have thought about it in those terms to begin with!"

"S-Sanig?"

Cylia seems concerned at his sudden outburst.

"Ah, i'm fine, girl. The kid just reaffirmed something for me, that's all."

Leaning down, you put your fist out for a bump, which Sanig returns.

"I don't get it..." Cylia mutters. "Is this a guy thing...?"
>>
There won't be an update tomorrow, as i'm going to be a bit busy.
So here's two updates for the time being.
>>
>>5214595
Give Cylia the horny eyes!

>>5214607
punch those horses for me
>>
Old man in a warborg let's GOOOOO
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>>5214605
Poor Cylia, I have a feeling Kyla might get it too. The DRIVE, to make anything a weapon to win. Not being the one that goes out at the end.
>>5214607
This>>5214609
and this>>5214667
>>5214667
I wanna help Gramps on his path to Mecha Mastery.
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>>5214667
MECHTOID SANIG
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>>5214595
So that stuff we absorb when we kill wraiths is definitely the reason David is exceeding human limits (ie being able to do acrobatic martial arts in 3x gravity) right?
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>>5214918
You want a spoiler?
Nope. Nanomachines, son.
That's not to say it isn't doing something else to him.
>>
>>5214925
I wonder what will happen to Davide after a kills a hundred more demons. We gotta EMI/EMP shield all his gear so he has some light to work with.
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>>5214607
Thanks QM, take care.

That's some hype stuff.
I can already see it, Sanig, atop a weapon to surpass Metal Gear.
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>>5215037
this is giving me doom 2016 vibes. david can extract the wraiths' essence and that will make him more powerful....maybe with enough kills he'll be able to 1v1 a wraith with his own hands
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What the hell is the Pepe Frog at the end?
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>>5215348
Hiromoot's gift to us for april fools.
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>>5215348
😙
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>>5215346
>maybe with enough kills he'll be able to 1v1 a wraith with his own hands
Anon he literally did that already when he was brutalizing the first one, then he used it's fingers to kill that other group of wraiths +1 demon.
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>>5215367
Hey it's alright man, he's just got short term memory loss.

What were we talking about?
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>>5215367
yeah, but that was because we have the warp gloves on. what i meant is for david to tenderize a wraith using only his hands; no warp metal, or anything like that
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>>5215395
That's just stupid. Therea no reason for hin to take of the warp stone bruisers.
>>
Anons, we might have to take care at the time of kill the Wraiths... Maybe we should have in mind making different exams, I don't want us to actually turn in a mindless Wraiths by killing them
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>>5215427
>not wanting to see if david can kill the wraiths barehanded
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>>5215448
>*bareback
FTFY
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>>5214609
+1
>>
>>5215348

happy april fools anon
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>>5214918
David has grey nanomachines. The one confirmed adjustment is oxygen absorption efficiency. There's others, but I don't think we've properly investigated it.
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>>5215778
The only other thing it does is make his toenails grow more evenly.

Source: I know from experience my dude
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>>5214605
>>"Heh. Hehaha!"
https://youtu.be/ztzq05IzYds
When I grow up I want to be pic related tho
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>>5215778
it's not nanomachines, tis' but a retrovirus that helps with oxygen
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>>5215816
Technically those are nanomachines kek just made of proteins and lipids and stuff
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>>5216058
>m-muh body is a machine haha
CRINGE
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>>5216486
It’s just a vehicle for your CNS I don’t know why you’re making a big deal out of it
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>>5216486
of course it is. the body is just a mecha for the brain :EZY:
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>>5216486
Yeah? u dum?
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

test
>>
>>5214605

After a few firm slaps from Sanig, Gildur wakes up and is immediately dragged into the medbay to begin moving the dodos out and into cages in the new cargo bay.
After that, they'll begin sterilizing the medbay so it can be used for exploratory surgery.

You, meanwhile, decide to take a look at Javan's condition.
She's fast asleep on a mat of blankets in the old cargo bay, which will probably get turned into a proper workshop soon.

Although her body is covered by an electric blanket, she's shivering in her sleep. Tossing, turning and writhing as if she's having a bad dream.
You gently stroke the soft, smooth scales along her head to calm her down, and she seems to relax somewhat. She even hisses slightly as if sighing in relief while her muscles unclench. But her condition still isn't great.

"Damn. Well, i guess we should let Gron know. Alright... SHODAN, mark the location of this ship. It's still in useable condition, so i'm coming back for it later."

"Affirmative, Captain... but i should inform you, the stellar lightning that had been avoiding this area previously appears to be closing in. At the current rate, it will take two days to reach the ship's center."

"Well, shit. Will it be destroyed?"

"Most likely, Captain. The electronics will be fried first, but continual strikes will eventually shred the ship and melt the pieces into slag."

"Great. Do you think we can finish this job in under two days?"

"It is possible, but nothing is certain. However, there is another option."

"Kyla?"

"If we leave the nanofab with her, she should be able to get the ship into working condition on her own."

"So the ship could move, and it would have shields... but she's not a pilot, is she? I don't even know if that thing has an onboard AI."

"Even if it doesn't, her personal AI should be able to handle it."

"Ah, right... that backpack of hers. Yeah, that could work... but i'm still worried. What if that big bastard ends up coming back?"

"That is a potential issue. Perhaps Sanig could loan her his revolver, just in case."

"Maybe. They've already gotten her once before, but i don't know if that makes her more or less susceptible to their influence. It could be dangerous."

>Have Kyla stay behind and fix up the ship, so it's ready to go by the time you leave
>Nope. You're too worried about whether or not that big demon is really gone.
>She's a big girl. Leave the choice up to her.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5217089
>Nope. You're too worried about whether or not that big demon is really gone.
we also don't know if this piece of shit is even worthy of being repaired or 100% clear of wraiths. we have better chances of jury rigging something better on the local ship graveyard
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>>5217089
>Nope. You're too worried about whether or not that big demon is really gone.
>Kyla, this demon fucked me up, if you got hurt there is not enough of them around for me to mutilate out of hate, and I don't want to hurt everyone by accident.
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>>5217089
>Nope. You're too worried about whether or not that big demon is really gone.
>>
>>5217089
>Nope. You're too worried about whether or not that big demon is really gone.
We did check it for anything useful or valuable, right?
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>>5217267
Yep. There's not much in there that isn't covered in rust, blood or dust.
Most of the equipment seems functional, though.
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>>5217089
>She's a big girl. Leave the choice up to her.
We are paranoid but we got to let people make their own choices with the risks being known.
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>>5217273
What kind of ship is this? If it's a rare find that suits our intended purpose perfectly, let's see if Kyla wants to take the risk. If it's a dime a dozen scrap heap, leave it for the space lightning.
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>>5217319
It's a very old, outdated ship. Maybe twice the size of the Metal Gear, but with nothing special to offer.
As far as you can tell, it's been sitting around for at least a hundred years.
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>>5217463
Whoop, dropped my trip.
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>>5217089
>>Nope. You're too worried about whether or not that big demon is really gone.
>>
>>5217463
So you're saying it's vintage?
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>>5217089
>She's a big girl. Leave the choice up to her.
>Write-In?
Ask Sanig if he can make a jury rigged Voild shield Kyla can push around on a hover cart. It should protect her if shit it's the fan, and she could pepper any wraiths or demons with her revolver.
Also let's get her some warp dust knuckle nubs. I recalled the QM saying that despite her being short, she's still strong and will fuck you up.
>>5217463
>>5217465
>>5217481
Nice. If we clean it up a bit, we can probably sell it off to some collector, or use it as intended as a carrier. Cochrane when you said carrier, did you mean for fighter ships or carrying cargo?
>>
>>5217089
>She's a big girl. Leave the choice up to her.
hey kyla do you want to be left alone on a spooky ghost ship for several days?
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>>5217551
There is a carrier out here somewhere, but this isn't it.
It's big enough to carry a bit of cargo, though.

However, with the oldschool engines and equipment on it, the gas mileage would be terrible.
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>>5217551
do you realize how terrible that sounds?
>good luck being stranded on the space hulk!
>now you got a few days to get that piece of shit running before the warp- lightning storm consumes it, or the wraiths return to fuck you up

>>5217481
just because its old it doesn't mean its valuable. cochrane already said that the only good thing about the ship is that is big, otherwise its very old and outdated. that only means problems
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>>5217558
>However, with the oldschool engines and equipment on it, the gas mileage would be terrible.
That's fine, the idea is to sell it. Actually, could SHODAN do a quick search to determine if anyone would be interested in buying this vintage if we can give it a good decal?
If not, how expensive would it be to replace to engines and equipment with more modern and efficent stuff? Would it not be worth the effort to restore it for use or selling it off?

>>5217560
It does sound terrible, but shes smart as fuck so if she's not able to get it up and running at the 36 hour mark we'll extract her and ditch the hulk. Still, might as well google search its worth if we spruce it up.

Hmmm, you make a good point about the only good thing about it is being big. Perhaps it could be used as another storage unit back at Xebric. Like we restore it, dock it, but only use it as free storage we dont have to pay for.
>>
>>5217569
>but shes smart as fuck
the issue isn't that she's smart, the issue is that we're leaving her in the ship with an unknown number of hostiles where she runs the risk of being possessed, killed and turned into a zombie. probably in that order as well. this isn't worth it, specially when we have captured way better ships by just taking pirate bounties

>Perhaps it could be used as another storage unit back at Xebric.
that's silly. once we're back at xebric we are going to take over the station, which means that we can have an actual warehouse to store our stuff, and no one will tell us anything because we helped in the invasion.
plus we know the location of the pirate base near xebric; i'd rather take control of that than the (probably no longer) wraith infested ship in front of us
>>
>>5217576
Still, I wish there was something we could do about this shipment hmmmm...
Oh! Fuck man, what if we just went old school and strapped rockets on this bitch? Just nanofab a few rockets, attach em somewhere, and hurry rig that bitch to fly out of the Thunder Zone so we can salvage it later? We're repair it, store it some place, then sell it off. That sound fair?
>>
>>5217560
Value is a funny thing. It's only limit is how much someone is willing to pay for it. I mean, little paper cards aren't worth a fucking thing, less than a cent per even, and yet people will pay thousands of dollars for them. Even more if they have someone's scribble on them.

Fuck value.
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>>5217608
>Fuck value.
How? Doggy style or missionary?
Not gonna lie I'm a stupid motherfucker sometimes, but I'm a loot gremlin by nature. If it has value, it's worth lootin. That's my moto. Do you mean fuck this ship it's probably not worth the effort? That we might not get anything from trying to sell it? You might be right. BUT if we don't want to use the ship for anything, why not harvest the whole damn thing? Take it's navigational logs for research, stripe out the expensive tech that still might be useful, take the thrusters, pull out the shielding emitters, take all the dark matter fuel bottles plus fuel that's left. OH if it still has lasers maybe we could do something silly with them, like make man portable las cannons or heavy laser rifles.
>>
>>5217621
>How? Doggy style or missionary?
Reverse cowgirl, duh. Make that shit work for you, not the other way around.

But what I'm really saying is money shouldn't be the driving factor of your choices. If you want the ship, take it. Simple as.
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>>5217636
I don't know man, I do but I also don't.
>However, with the oldschool engines and equipment on it, the gas mileage would be terrible.
Like, it's old and we probably don't want to use it "as it is," so the next solution would be to renovate it. Change out the old with the new, give it heavier equipment to make it a real heavy hitter in a dog fight, or just carry cargo for us. Of course there's the problem of considering how many man hours and credits it will cost to modernize the entire ship. I'd image that the cost of renovating the carrier would be significantly cheaper than buying a small 1-3 crew sized ship at 100-120k like Cylia's old one, which I think is slightly smaller than the Metal Gear?

At least if we renovate the carrier it would still be cheaper than pulling a ship out from a graveyard and attempting to fix the entire thing.
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>>5217089
>Nope. You're too worried about whether or not that big demon is really gone.
>>
>>5217638
If you're having second thoughts then you don't want it. ez
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>>5217089
>Nope. You're too worried about whether or not that big demon is really gone.
>>
>>5217638
Have you ever tried renovating an old car? I have, and let me tell you, that aint worth it unless the car itself has a special meaning for you, because you'll end up paying the same, or double the price of the car itself and at the end you'll only get a pretty old car that gets beqt by a cheap modern car in every aspect except maybe looks.

You may argue that a spaceship is different, but it wouldnt be too crazy to assume that the same rules apply, and we just dont have that kind of money to invest into a project like this
>>
>>5217089
>Have Kyla stay behind and fix up the ship, so it's ready to go by the time you leave
>>
>>5217785
The thing is that we have nanofabs. That means we can make almost any of the part we need, so the bullshit you had to deal with would be.....well maybe more or less difficult than this since this is bigger than a car, so the difficulty curve is just about the same.

>and we just dont have that kind of money to invest into a project like this
Are you sure about that? We were inside so maybe we should make an estimate of renovation costs before we give this thing up.
>>
>>5217878
ok, but even if its easy to repair the ship, the main problem remains the same, we have to leave kyla *alone* in a ship that might or might not have wraiths and a demon. that's just way too much risk for way too little reward
>>
>>5217887
We just gotta re attach the wire we cut outside, give it a little fuel, then make it jump out of the Nebula. We can stick around with Kyla in case something happens. Would that work?
>>
>>5217896
except shodan already told us that the patches to get the ship up and moving would take around 2 days, which returns us to the same original problem. its just too risky with way too little rewards
>>
>>5217907
She didnt say that it would take two days to repair the ship, only two days for the seller lightning to reach the ship which would destroy it. If Kyla is capable of fixing the ship within two days, then it stand to reason that it would take even less time if we all pitched in the help move this piece of shit.

But I'd still want to get some estimates from the crew to know if it's possible to modernize this junk of junk, and roughly how much it might cost considering its 100 years out of date. The sensitive equipment might not be up to snuff, but the skeletal structure is still there.
>>
>>5217921
>If Kyla is capable of fixing the ship within two days, then it stand to reason that it would take even less time if we all pitched in the help move this piece of shit.
nonono, it was 2 days if we all stay and repair the ship OR leave kyla with the nanofab

>"Great. Do you think we can finish this job in under two days?"
>"It is possible, but nothing is certain. However, there is another option."
>"Kyla?"
>"If we leave the nanofab with her, she should be able to get the ship into working condition on her own."
>>
>>5217089
>Nope. You're too worried about whether or not that big demon is really gone.
>>
>>5217638
>space ship
>tail rudder

BAKA
>>
>>5217089
>>Write-In?
>just park the metal gear right next to the ship and let's have a reparing-old-ship-montage. The tit-sneak can wait
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEVVfGudNfw
>>
>>5218086
It doesn't just fly in space. Still ugly tho
>>
>>5217194
+1
>>
>>5218162
the symmetry pisses me off
>>
>>5217089

"...Nah, it's not worth it. It's just an old junker, after all."

"You're giving up on it?"

"Woah, now! I didn't say that! It's just not worth putting Kyla at risk for. If we make it back in time, we make it. If we don't, we don't. Now, that said..."

You make a quick trip down to the junker's mechanical room and carefully remove it's dark matter and dark energy bottles, causing the ship to power down entirely.
Interestingly, despite the age of the ship, the design of the bottles and the mechanical room is practically identical to every other ship you've seen.

"Can't leave these babies behind. Two to a ship, and nowhere to buy them."

["Ever the pragmatist, Captain."]

The trip back to Gron's ship doesn't take long, although you do have to dodge quite a few lightning bolts along the way. Seems that pocket disappearing has disturbed the nebula somewhat.
Gron's position has drifted slightly since you were gone, but fortunately the radar picks him up in no time at all, and you're able to make contact via laser.

"This is Captain Rockefeller of the Metal Gear, come in Captain."

Gron responds almost immediately.

["This is Captain Kordunn of the vessel "Star-Fall". You've been gone a while, Captain. Did something happen?"]

"Yeah, you could say that. Javan was injured, but she's alive."

"That is unfortunate. Were the injuries severe?"

"Eh, it depends on how you look at it, i guess. Maybe it's best if we talk in person."

It takes a few minutes to dock with the Star-Fall, and when you do, both Gron and Asta come over. In fact, Asta pushes his way past Gron, demanding to see Javan.

"Where is she?!"

"Calm down, kid. She's not dead."

"I can't believe you let her get hurt right away! I knew this was a bad idea!"

You rub your eyebrows and sigh out in annoyance, and Gron places his hand on Asta's shoulder.

"That's enough, Child. Javan knew the risks, and agreed to participate."

Surprisingly, Asta actually at least attempts to hold it in after Gron chides him a bit.

"Yeah, that's the thing. None of us really knew the risk, or i don't think we would have gone in like that."

"...Yes, i see that you're injured, Captain. What happened?"

"Wraiths." You admit.

"...Wraiths? Here?"

Gron doesn't seem disbelieving, just a bit shocked.

"Six total, plus one other. Something bigger, or different at least. I'm no expert on the matter. That's the one that got Javan."

"Damn it. Was she possessed?"

This is the first time you've seen Gron genuinely look upset about something.

"Afraid so. I managed to knock it out of her, but... well, who knows."

"How long did the possession last? It's possible she may still be alright."

You have to think on that for a minute. Your sense of time was really screwed up by the fight, so you're not really certain.

"Let's see... Hmm. Anywhere from five to eight minutes, i guess? The big guy was busy with me for some of that though, if it makes a difference."
>>
>>5218941
>"I can't believe you let her get hurt right away! I knew this was a bad idea!"
This kid is making it, very hard to not best his ass.
Hey can we make a bet with him? See if he takes the bait with his smooth brain? If he can beat us in a fight, we'll give him 10k, but if we beat him we'll get 5k. First one to lose consciousness wins.
>>
>>5218957
*first to lose consciousness loses
Woops
>>
>>5218957
He already knows he can't beat you.
Now he's just malding.
>>
>>5218976
What if we call him a pussy?
>>
>>5218941
Gron seems to be in the know about the spoopy bois.
Interesting.
I guess with him being well traveled and living for centuries he would have come across some of that lore if nkt first or second hand experience.
>4TNYG
What does capcha mean?
>>
>>5218957
Quoting what I read in a fallout greentext once,
"He's like that younger brother you have to beat the faggot out of"
>>
>>5218957
he has the energy of an anime MC, but without any of the plot powers. its pretty funny actually
>>
>>5219098
that it has IBS?
>>
>>5218976
NEED CAT PUSSY!
NEET TO PUT ASTA IN HIS PLACE AND FUCK HIM BUSSI INTO SUBMISSION!
FILL HOLE!
>>
>>5218941

"Not long, then... that's good."

You guide Gron to the workshop where Javan is sleeping. Gron looks over Javan's sleeping form, and seems amused.

"What is this blanket you've got over her? I can feel the heat radiating from it."

"Ah, that's an electric blanket. It's got a wire running through it. Short some power through it and it heats up, simple and easy."

"It's a fire hazard!" Asta bellows. "What if it shorts out or something?!"

"It's already shorted out." You inform him. "Were you not listening, kid? That's literally how it works."

Gron smirks.

"I'm sure she'll like it. How did you know that she can't produce her own body heat, though?"

"Well, she's a snake, ain't she? We have animals just like that on earth, so i figured she might get cold in here."

"He treats me the same way, like i'm a cat. The worst part is, half the time he's right..." Cylia adds, having entered the room just a moment ago.

Asta takes notice of her, and immediately walks over.
He gets way too deep into her personal space, eyeing her up and down like an idiot. Cylia visibly recoils at this.

And then he opens his big, stupid mouth.

"Hey, little sis. What are you doing on this ship?"

Cylia almost immediately bloodies his nose, which knocks him onto the floor.
And then she starts kicking him in the ribs while he tries to defend himself.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT, YOU FRIGGIN' MIDGET?! YOU'RE LIKE A INCH TALLER THAN ME, AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE A MALE?!"

"GODS, MY NOSE! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, LADY!?"

You and Gron both watch on in shock as Cylia hoists the kid into the air by his collar and slams him against the wall. She's giving him quite the talking-to.
Honestly, this is the first time you've seen her act like this... that you can remember, anyways.

"So uh... should we... should we do anything about this?" You wonder.

Gron's shock quickly wears off, and a smile forms on his face.

"Nah. His mouth was bound to get him in trouble eventually. Well, more trouble."

You wince as Asta says something else he shouldn't have, and gets gut-checked. Looks like that one knocked the wind out of him.

"...I must say, though. Your crew seem quite strong for their species. That fellow you had mopping the floor back there, he was a Kelbhund wasn't he?"

"A what?"

"His race, Captain. He's a Kelbhund."

"Oh. I dunno, i never asked him. He's just the janitor."

"Yes, well... i assure you, he's quite muscular for his species. That Jek'na as well. I could be fooled to think she makes her living as a bodybuilder."

"Ah, yeah. That'd be the gravity. It's turned way down right now since there's a lot going on, but normally we keep it at 1G."

"Really? Isn't that a bit intense for... well, technically i suppose your crew consists of predators, but..."

"Heh, yeah. An old man, two women and a dog. They can handle it, though. As long as they take their blood thinners, apparently."

"I see. No mercy, is it? But the effects are inarguable."
>>
>>5219988
so cylia doesn't like being mocked about her height. got it.
>>
>>5219988
Kick his fucking ass Cylia? Kick him in the nutts!
>>
>>5219988
We should talk to our janitor more.

Also they aren't suffering too much under the Gs. Guess there might be bone issues if the skin suits weren't supporting them.

Should look at their long term health
>>
>>5220004
grab his dick and twist it!
>>
>>5219988
Princes has. It been mentioned. That said she is probably in the medbay snifong wraith murder presents with Sanog and getting weird ideas even for a Slyvern. Or are they? Are Slyvern and wreiths like giant squids and humpback whales? Always kiing one another when they meet in derp space?
>0TAGT
Wrong capcha she did tag one. Or we'll she might not have had the flames needed to affect wraiths so probably still 0
>>
>>5220153
What the fuck are you on right now anon? I need to know so I can stay far away from it.
>>
derp space
>>
>>5220153
Go to bed you're not making sense.
>>
>>5220153
I'm upset I understood this
>>
>>5220228
Could you translate, please? I'm not fluent in retard.
>>
>>5220234
"Princess hasn't been mentioned, That said she is in the medbay sniffing wraith murder gifts with Ayylmao. Getting super funky ideas for her race, or are they actually weird for them? Maybe both are like Giant squids and whales aka natural enemies that square up deep under water but in this case in deep space.

Capha was wrong, But didn't she tag one? of did she not, because we don't know if her flames got it so her kill count might still be 0.


It just clicks better in retard, and translate may have error.
>>
>>5220250
Ah, that makes much more sense. Thanks anon, doing God's work.
>>
>>5220126
TWIST HIS DIIIIIIICK
>>
>>5220114
No.
>>
>>5220259
its suffering speaking retard
>>
>>5220250
Princess can see wraiths, just like David can. Which is super weird, but then so is breathing fire, having acid for drool and being able to hibernate in a vacuum.
I will say this though. Slyverns fucking hate wraiths.

And for those wondering, princess is currently cuddled up on David's bed. That's usually where she stays when he's gone.
>>
>>5220347
Asta's dick. It must to punished.
>>
>>5220347
>mfw slyverns were genetically modified by greys to be wraith-hunting predators
Think about it. Heat interferes with electromagnetic interference. Their acid could probably dissolve wraith flesh without much trouble. Their scales afford them some level of protection against wraith claws and teeth. The flight allows them to pursue airborn ones.
Seed a wraithworld with a few hundred slyverns and watch the problem solve itself in a few years.
>>
>>5220384
He has only seen the outline of David's dick in the suit and doesn't know that's just soft. Hard is Cylia's fist. He's also a teen space protagonist in someone else's story, chill.
>>5220347
I can't wait to make a big enough ship just so we can put Princess right next to us so she can come get hugs when she has night walks.
>>
>>5220408
I'm eager to get back to earth and find Mutt so we can see how him and Princess get along.
>>
>>5220347
I can imagine why the space dragons hate wraiths, I’ll bet they’re pretty popular possession targets. If I were a spooky energy vampire I’d try to possess slyverns all the time too.
>>
>>5220468
>Mut: "Tiny snake friend?"
>Princess: Wags tail
>Mut: "Good, we shall talk about our silly human."
>>
>>5220250
Thanks anon. Phone posting with a cracked screen while sleep deprived does indeed turn out in retard speak.
>>
>>5219988

Asta continues to run his mouth, and Cylia continues to kick the shit out of him for it.
While you're watching that and perhaps enjoying it a bit too much, you notice Javan starting to stir due to the commotion.

"Hey, Gron. She's waking up."

"Good. Just give her a moment, she might be confu-"

"Hey, Javan! Wakey wakey, eggs for snakey!"

Javan sits up and stares at you with a blank look in her eyes, blinking several times before seeming to come to. Turns out, she has a nictitating membrane, just like other reptiles.

"...Eggsss?"

"You want some? We've got a few extra since we're moving the dodos around right now."

Javan looks between you and Gron, then shakes her head and rubs her face with her forearm.

"Sssure, i guesss?"

She looks down at the warm blanket covering her lower half and runs her hands across it, then looks up at Cylia, who's still giving Asta an earful.

"Uhm... doesss anyone remember... what happened, exxxactly? The lassst thing i remember, isss the power going out..."

Seeing that she's asking questions and talking, you give Gron a slap on the back.

"Hey, look at that! She's fine!"

"No, it might take a while still to determine if any damage was done to her personality..."

"My persssonality? What? What happened?!"

"You want to tell her, or should i?"

"...Hmmm. It's true that i'm her captain, but you were the one in charge of the operation. I suppose it matters little."

"Well, you can take care of that then. I'll get started on her eggs."

On your way back to the kitchen, you drag Cylia along with you by her collar. Asta is slumped over on the floor with a fat lip, but still has the energy to curse at her as you leave, causing her to flail around like a pissed off cat as she tries to kill him.
You have to admit, she's kinda cute when she gets all riled up like that. Her hair even stands up, making her look fluffy.

Cylia is still kicking and hissing even as the door closes, but she doesn't run back out after him.
Instead, she stomps her foot and growls in frustration.

"Gods, i can't believe that little prick! Who acts like that the second you meet someone?! Does he have a piece of his brain missing or something?!"

"Eh, he's a teenager. Teenagers are stupid like that, i wouldn't hold it against him too much."

"No, he's not! I don't expect you to notice, but his guard hairs have already come in. That means he's been an adult for at least two or three years already, but he's still acting like that!"

You snort as you crack open an oversized dodo egg with the back of a spoon.

"Oh yeah? I had fuzz on my nuts at ten years old. It didn't make me a man, even if i tried to act like one. In fact, i don't think i really grew up until i'd spent a few years in the marines."

"Well, a guy like that has no business out here at all. And definitely not on our ship!" She huffs.

"Alright, alright. I understand your feelings. I won't kick him off unless he gets really annoying, though."
>>
>>5221104
>"No, it might take a while still to determine if any damage was done to her personality..."
hmmm....could this be a form of PTSD? like, the event is so traumatic that the brain rewires itself in an attempt to avoid the same thing happening again
>>
>>5221104
Please let us kick his ass.
Okay how about this. What if we bet Cylia winning against him? Like they fight each other using no claws and teeth, and the loser needs to pay the winner 10k. Its gotta work.
>>
>>5221175
>Please let us kick his ass.
we already did that. although letting cylia beat the crap out of him in a proper match would be pretty cool
>>
>>5221179
That's what I meant, letting Cylia beat the ever loving shit out of him. It would make her feel better, plus she would win easy money.
It would be beyond easy to goad Asta into accepting. We could play into him being too much of a little bitch to hit a girl shorter than him, maybe say he fights like a little girl? Maybe make him insecure enough that his baby brain demands he fights.
Oh man it'd be great, Cylia would brutalize him after we taught her how to fight.
>>
your name sounds like cockring qm

fuck you
>>
>>5221186
>he helps keep your magnum dong fully engorged and strong
What a what lad that cockring qm chad.
>>
>>5221186
Not if you read the name as coach-Rain
>>
>>5221104
>Angry floof Cylia
Must, resist, eggssss to cook, but, sooooo tempting.
>>
>>5221175
>>5221183
Chill simp, she literally did that for the last few updates. She's taller than him too. Read before Twittering in public.
>>
>>5221301
>"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT, YOU FRIGGIN' MIDGET?! YOU'RE LIKE A INCH TALLER THAN ME, AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE A MALE?!"
>She's taller than him too.
>Read before Twittering in public.
Ha, okay bud sure I'll do that. That doesnt make it any more funny watching her best the stuffing at the cat dude, but I really wanna rub the salt in his wounds. It's one thing to get beaten up, it's another to get beaten up AND lose money on a bet for it.
>>
>>5221307
He's a brat, he's dumb enough to take the bet, but why bother?
>>
>>5221315
To humble him, humiliate him, and make a quick buck because we can. His parents apparently haven't beaten him enough, so it's our god given duty to make sure he gets all the beatings he needs to be an upstanding space citizen. Plus, I want to see Cylia put into practice all the moves David has been teaching her and build up her confidence a bit.
>>
>>5221320
.....already done dumbass. Are you from Reddit?
>>
>>5221329
Yes, I'm even a redditor. Regardless of my superior status, we should keep beating on him for that sweet cash. Cylia could use it for who knows what her character motives might be. Maybe she'll save it to upgrade her ship when she gets it back, or send some of the money back home.
>>
>>5221337
....he's not a pinata he's a grunt with a name under Gron. I wouldn't be surprised he spends his checks on porn mags and space comics. We aren't going to get money from him.
>>
YOU HAVE TO EAT ALL THE EGGS
>>
>>5221342
on a tangential note, i wouldn't be surprised that's he's dating javan over here, specially due to how concerned he was with her.
>>
>>5221346
All the eggs?
>>
>>5221352
I think he wants too, but he's a dumbass.
>>
>>5221356
ok, that makes way more sense
>>
>>5221365
I want my, I want my, my snake senpai.
>>
>>5221354
ALL OF 'EM
>>
>>5221415
That's a lot of eggs.
>>
>>5221342
Sure do use a lot of ellipses for someone accusing anons of being from reddit or twitter.
>>
>>5221440
Those faggots stole it from 4chan newfag.
>>
>>5221453
How dare you. I'm a newest fag you redditor. I want to fuck the demons.

>>5221104
Soooo would it be possible for David to convince Cylia to fight Asta, and whoever wins gets money? Would that be or not in character of David to do?
>>
>>5221453
Sure thing "oldfag". And 4chan stole it from retards RPing on IRC and instant messenger services. Doesn't make you less of a dweeb.
>>
>>5221473
Why do you want to make a bet on Asta getting beat up by Cylia again so damn badly? You an Asta, is that it?
>>
>>5221104
How often did David used to fuck his sister?
>>
>>5221656
Only between pregnancies so not super often
>>
>>5221656
Well, you know what they say about the south.
Some men's sisters are slow on their feet, and some are virgins.
>>
>>5222027
H-hot :TooLewd:
>>
>>5221440
I thought only facebook boomers use unnecessary ellipses
>>
>>5222045
...What does that say about me?
>>
>>5222058
... that you're old?

I've been elipsing on the internet since I was 12. Now almost past my 20s.
>>
>>5222045
Nah everyone does at some point or another. Some of us just know better than to do it too frequently or in "public".
>>
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I've got massive brain block today. I've been sitting here for hours, and it just ain't coming out.
Sorry lads. Have a red oni.
>>
>>5222406
>Red oni
Objectively the worst kind. Shit taste, QM. Dropped.
>>
>>5222406
Damn, that sucks
>>5222416
Shit taste, go gargle a tranny.
>>
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>>5222418
>Not even very tig bitties on that red oni
And I'M the one that has shit taste?
>>
>>5222421
Her booty is perfect for baby making, breast fill with breeding. Ergo, your double faggotry has been exposed.
>>
>>5222426
>Booty isn't even in frame
Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I should've known since this is 4chan but I didn't realize I was talking to an actual blithering retard. Of course, anon, whatever you say. I'm not one of those to pick on the disabled.
>>
>niggas arguing about how busty a bitch is when everyone knows a tight toned body with medium a.k.a. premium tits is an instant 8/10
Ignoramuses on all sides means I can shitpost in any direction.
>>
>>5222426
>>5222437
Both of you are fags, and not the cool Gandolf kind of fag. There's three main things that matter most regarding the body shapes of oni girls.

>Muscles (can replace with weight and/or height, if you're more for for milf)
>Tummy (six-pack or pooch, both are good)
>Horns (NON-NEGOTIABLE)
>>
>>5222452
Gandolf isn't even a fag you dumbass, are you talking about Dumbledore being retconned as a queer?
>>5222437
>>5222448
>Thicc thighs make lives
>>
>>5222462
Pretty sure he was referring to the actor himself being a homo.
>>
its weirdo o'çlock, i see
>>
>>5222406
That oni looks heated.
>>
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>>5221499
>>5221453
Now kiss
>>
>>5222645
Not before marriage dude, gross.
>>
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>>5222406
Bring an oni take an oni. Let portraits of the goddesses inspire art.
>>
>>5222645
Not before getting caught going to the same sex shop.
>>
>>5222652
Nah.
Shodan is our love interest.
>>
>>5222652
>nothing coating the spoon
Gotta keep that air stirred.
>>
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I want to bang the cat girl and the oni's and the ai. Big booty gobbo and snek are ok too I guess.
>>
>>5222719
This was too stupid, I'm busting my sides over this.
Thanks for the keks.
>>
>>5221104

The smell of frying eggs eventually draws Princess into the kitchen, and you can't help but give her a few platefulls as well before you're done cooking.
It's the eyes, man. She knows how to beg with those big, puppydog eyes of hers. What's worse is, she's smart enough to know exactly what she's doing.

As usual, she drapes herself around your neck like a scarf. Sadly, she's getting a bit too big for that already and it feels like there's a toddler hanging off of you.
You wonder how big she'll actually get. There's no solid information available on the web, just hyperbolic stories that sound more like dragons than an actual animal.

Kind of weird, you feel, since everyone seems to know about them. Surely someone has actually seen one, or run some medical scans on one? But no, nothing.

"Ah, well." You sigh, giving her chin a scritch. "It doesn't matter how big you get, you're still my little Princess."

Cylia looks over at you from the table, confused.

"Are you talking to yourself over there, David?"

Princess blows a raspberry at her with that cute little forked tongue.

By the time you bring the food out, it looks like Gron has already more or less explained the situation to Javan.

"It'sss fine. Honessstly, i don't even remember what happened."

Gron takes a stern tone with her.

"Even so, Javan. You'll need a full psych evaluation after the mission's over. That's an order."

"Yesss, captain. I underssstand."

"Hey, Javan!" You announce. "I made you something to eat. You're a carnivore, right?"

As you hold the plate out for her, she flicks her tongue in and out of her mouth several times, tasting the air around it.

"Oh! Thank you, captain. It sssmellsss deliciousss..."

Before she can accept however, Asta sticks his arm out between you two and gets in the way.

"Hold on, now! How do we know it's not poisoned?!" He interjects.

"That's retarded. You're an honest to god retard, kid."

"Hey, fuck you old man! Javan got hurt on your watch! Who's to say it was really an accident, huh?! Maybe you're just trying to... trying to..."

Seems like he finally noticed the smell of the fried eggs and vegetables, because his focus shifts down to the plate and you can see a strand of drool form almost instantly in the corner of his mouth.
He wipes the drool from his mouth and shakes it off.

"Trying... to finish the job! Huh?! I bet you won't eat any of it yourself!"

In response to that, you immediately cut off a piece of egg with your fork, chew it up and swallow it.

"W-Well, maybe it's just something you're immune to! Maybe i should take a little bite next... just a little~!"

Asta reaches out to try and grab the food, but you lift it over your head and he's completely unable to reach it.
He tries to jump for it, but you mush him down with your free hand.

"Nice try, kid."
>>
>>5222821

>Sorry, I only feed people who aren't unrepentantly obnoxious
>Only people who work get to eat. Go help Gildur clean out the dodo nest.
>Fine, you little idiot. If you want it that bad, i'll make you up a plate. But this one is Javan's.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5222821
>Princess blows a raspberry at her with that cute little forked tongue.
You tell her sweetie.
>>5222822
>"You want eggs you annoying twerp, drop and give 50. At 1G."
>>
>That's retarded. You're an honest to god retard, kid.

Why did I laugh so hard

Just fool with these silly heads some more. And then get around to hanky panky with our kitty already
>>
>>5222822
>>Only people who work get to eat. Go help Gildur clean out the dodo nest.
>>
>>5222822
>Sorry, I only feed people who aren't unrepentantly retarded
>>
>>5222821
I am suprised people arent questioning Princess around David's neck. I dont think they've seen her yet.

>>5222822
>"You want eggs you annoying twerp, drop and give 50. At 1G. 50 push-up, not credits you numb nutts."
>channel your inner drill seargent and shit talk him. Keep your back straight, I want to see you go all the way down you little faggot!
Then after that.
>Only people who work get to eat. Go help Gildur clean out the dodo nest.
>>
>>5223014
>I am suprised people arent questioning Princess around David's neck

They will.
>>
>>5223047
Can we make Asta do push-up with Princess sitting on his back?
>>
>>5223055
the thought of humiliating the catboy just gives you a boner, right?
>>
>>5222822
>>5223014
+1 to this guy.

Have Cylia do it first to show it's possible (because at this point, that should be normal for her)

When he complains she has some crazy advantage, then have Sanig do it (because they don't know he has a skin suit)

Then have him do it.
>>
>>5222824
+1 lol
>>
>tfw he's genuinely so smoothbrained with his straw grasping that he can't even comprehend that we had her unconscious for an undetermined amount of time and could have killed her with zero effort throughout all of it and she's still alive
Met kids with down's syndrome with better cogitative function than this rat.
>>
>>5222824
+1, dis gun b gud
>>
>>5223123
its gonna be funny if he just flips us off and goes back to his ship
>>
>>5222822
>>Only people who work get to eat. Go help Gildur clean out the dodo nest.
>>
>>5222822
You think you're cleaver shit lips? SHODAN, increase the gravity to 1G. DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY!
>>
>>5223107
He just wants eggs now, unfortunately for him we are going too give it too him.
>>
>>5222821
>Only people who work get to eat. Go help Gildur clean out the dodo nest.
If he wasn't obnoxious I would vote for just giving it to him. Now that he has to work for the meal he wants.
>>
>>5222824
>support
>>
>>5222822
Give him a choice between helping Gildur clean up the nest or coming with us next time we try to board a pirate ship.
>>
>>5223322
Rather not invite him to fuck up any of our ops, thanks.
>>
>>5223395
Gron doesn't think he's too retarded to bring along, so he probably won't get us killed. Worst case scenario he gets his own ass shot and we drag him back afterwards to get a phaser wound treated.
>>
>>5223411
He also probably listens to Gron more often than not. I'd wager he'd be genuinely insubordinate to David. Once.

And I ain't even worried if he bites it, just that whatever we'd be doing would end up getting harder or outright botched because of him. Imagine, we're in a ship and telling some pirates to stop being twats and we'll let them go and the exact second we say that Asta barges in and caps someone. Now there's a firefight and something valuable gets blasted. A total pain in the ass.

Rather just break his jaw by squeezing it and tell him to fuck off.
>>
>>5223431
lets be fair with the kid right now. so far his only crime was to stand up to us when we assaulted the civvie ship, which was a move david would 100% do, including trying to break out of the handcuffs. him being overprotective of javan is a bit retarded, but its still in the acceptable zone; i mean, we did something pretty similar when we met grandpa gasbag, but unlike the kid we have actual retard level strength to back up our plans and not make too much of a fool of ourselves.

i just don't get why people want to antagonize him that much. yeah its funny, but we'll have to fight alongside him in the future when we raid xebric, so i'd rather have him begrudgingly trying to help us instead of finding a convenient way to kill us or our crew in the middle of the fight
>>
>>5223438
I don't want to antagonize him. I just want him to stop being a complete douche. Even David who is probably the second most apex predator in space right now knows when to shut his mouth or chill out.

Honestly is he spent half the time he seems to waste on talking himself into an early grave on something productive like range time or exercising he'd probably be top 1% of his species in terms of prowess. Got too much energy and too little brainpower.

Personally he just reminds me of one of the many fast-talking sleazeballs I've met. Like a used-car salesman except just up his own ass.
>>
>>5223441
>I just want him to stop being a complete douche.
>Honestly if he spent half the time he seems to waste on talking himself into an early grave on something productive like range time or exercising he'd probably be top 1% of his species in terms of prowess. Got too much energy and too little brainpower.

great, then lets tell him this. that's actual advise that he might take to heart instead of just trying to grind him into dust for no apparent reason (at least in his eyes)
>>
>>5223444
He didn't listen to Cylia who was straight up schoolyard bullying him with no effort. You think he's going to actually give a shit about anything we have to say?

It ain't happening dog.
>>
>>5223447
>He didn't listen to Cylia who was straight up schoolyard bullying him with no effort.
he tried to charm her like if he was johnny bravo and she refuted him in the same manner. that was to be expected

>You think he's going to actually give a shit about anything we have to say?
i guess he will, specially if we don't mock him like how we've done so far. if he decides to ignore us then we can humiliate him with no problem, but at least we should talk some sense into him beforehand
>>
>>5223454
u dum
>>
>>5222821
should've boiled the eggs for her to swallow them whole
cause she's snake right? Swallowing things her thing
dont quote me on that
>>
>>5222719
Lmao
>>
>>5223667
>inb4 she just smashes it into paste regardless because she's a constrictor type
>>
>>5223667
Something tells me she wouldn't care if they were cooked or not.
>>
>>5222821

You feel an evil little smile creeping it's way up your face.

"You want some eggs, you little twerp?"

"N-No! I was just gonna give them a taste test! You know, for poison."

"Yeah, yeah. Bullshit. Listen here, if you want some eggs i'll be happy to make you a plate. If you drop and give me fifty, at my home planet's gravity level."

The kid stops resisting and back off, puffing out his chest proudly.

"Hah, no problem! Katshee is a high-gravity world, you know? Our species evolved in 0.7G!"

"You've never been to your home planet before, boy. And you've never been in gravity higher than 0.5G before, either." Gron reminds him.

"Pssh, so? Doesn't mean i can't! You ever not done something you could have done, before? I bet you have!"

"Alright, tough guy. Go ahead and assume the position, then. When you're ready, i'll crank it up."

"Easy!"

The kid drops down into position, and you give SHODAN the order.

"Alright, SHODAN. Set it to one gee. Shipwide, if you don't mind."

"Very well, Captain."

The smirk doesn't even have time to leave his face before it impacts the floor, his arms giving out on him entirely as the ship's gravity rapidly ramps up from an alien-friendly 0.3G to full earth gravity.

He grunts and groans under the strain, but doesn't verbally complain as he slowly completes a single pushup.
You take a moment to look around and see that Javan seems fine even under high gravity, but Gron looks noticeably uncomfortable.

"You alright over there, Gron?" You ask. "Knees are lookin' a little shaky, there."

"I'm... fine, human. I will admit, your homeworld is rather heavy. Particularly... for one of my kind."

"Yeah, i'd probably be feeling it too if i had a gut full of rocks and was wearing platemail."

Asta sucks air in through his teeth and forces out another one.

"THREEEEEEEEEE!" He cries.

"....You think he'll actually finish?" You wonder.

"Oh, he'll finish. And then he won't be able to use his arms for a few days."

While Asta is busy with that, you go ahead and give Javan her plate.
She enjoys her eggs quite a bit, particularly with the fried veggies mixed in.

You sit down on a folding chair next to her while she eats, and the both of you watch Asta grind them out.

"Hey uh, sorry about what happened. I wouldn't have brought you along if i knew."

"No, it'sss alright. None of usss could have known. Sssuch are the dangersss of living in unexxxplored territory."

"Is it any different in the core worlds? Less wraiths and pirates, i mean?"

"...The core worldsss are different. To find a wraith there, isss practically unheard of. Or at leassst, no reportsss make it to the public. Piratesss... there are sssome. Sssmall time, not like here. It'sss peaceful there."

"It comes at a cost though, doesn't it?"

"Ssso you know. Of courssse, everything isss ssstrictly controlled and monitored there. It'sss not a placcce where you can get away with anything."

"TWEEEEENTY! FIIIIIIVE!" Asta practically screams.
>>
>>5223954
You think we werent counting you little shit? That was only four!
>>
>>5223954
Somebody fucking put a shoe on him, For thinking he can just skip numbers.
>>
>>5223954
Now watch David do 100 pushups without breaking a sweat.
>>
>>5224018
>100 push ups with Cylia using him as a chair to enjoy some eggs
Absolutely mogged.
>>
>>5224018
>>5224022
50 on one arm, then finish the other 50 on the other? Maybe those push up claps too? Maybe not the claps, Cylia wouldnt be able to steadily eat her eats.
>>
>>5224018
>>5224022
>>5224026
150 push ups.
50 on each arm, then the last 50 with both
>>
>>5224045
>david just begins alternating one of each on every repetition
>>
>>5224045
Lmao David just came back from fighting wraiths. Can he do it?

Hey remember how Cylia killed a wraith? Did she absorb any wraith juice like Dacid did? We should ask her.
>>
>>5223954
Now let's crank up the gravity (only around us, to avoid harming others) to 2G and let's do the same!
>>
>>5223954
At which rep do you lads think his shonen protagonist plot armor will kick in? I'm betting it will be at 49.
>>
>>5224085
Whose shonen protag armor.

It's entirely possible he makes it to 50, just be rekt.
>>
>>5224085
if by shonen plot armor you mean an aneurysm, then yes, 49 sounds about right
>>
>>5224085
He can do all the push-ups he wants. It'll just make it funnier to see him fail to lift his arms to eat afterwards.
>>
>>5223954
Oh he's that special kind of stubborn space anime brat. This is going to be FUN.
>>5224085
I'll bet 45.
>>
>>5224085
I'd wager on 43.
>>
File: tien drink.jpg (42 KB, 328x347)
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Rolled 33 (1d50)

>>5224085
is the number which I believe he will fold.
>>
Rolled 25 (1d50)

>>5224384
ooh, lets see
>>
File: 1636350213405.png (535 KB, 538x717)
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If he makes it all the way he's earned his eggs. Btw we'll prolly need to yell at him to clean his plate. Gotta make sure all that brotean turns into slick gains. Might be project worthy if he wasn't grons boi.
>>
>>5224484
>"I'm a predator, I don't eat vegetables!"
>slap
Someone makes you free food you make sure that dish is spotless by the end of it. Should be a law.
>>
>>5224484
Given how we're cultivating a working relationship with Gron, we might be able to get him a steady supply of Dodos and eggs.
Imagine it, gains across the sector will skyrocket.
>>
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>>5224495
No you misunderstood. We need to go full HERE COMES THE SPACE PLANE BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR on him with a fork MENACINGLY. Will do the little shit some good.
>>
>>5224512
Let's open space kfc and a food wholesalers along with a delivery service. If it becomes commonplace enough we could start moving *other* things in our shipments.
>>
>>5224533
I already suggested this, but we do a combination fried chicken and combat sports joint.
>>
>>5224547
like medieval times, but MMA?
>>
>>5224547
You mean like some sort of dinner theater but the theater is arena combat? Because if so that sounds rad.
>>
>>5224557
so wrestling with a nice dinner on the side. that sounds pretty great
>>
>>5224516
wow I love this image. Let's make our charges butterfly shaped
>>
>>5224560
>>5224557
>>5224554
>>5224547
All you can eat buffet but you have to fight the waiters
>>
>>5224554
>>5224557
>>5224560
exactly
>>
>>5224580
No, the waiters only give food to the winners.
>>
>>5224603
>you pay to fight people
>the prize is a free meal
>>
>>5224625
>you can pay more to fight weaker waiters
>>
Rolled 35 (1d50)

>>5224364
Best of three?
>>
>>5223954

To your great amusement, the kid actually gets pretty far. He conks out at forty-three pushups, which is better than a lot of out-of-shape humans you know.
But you can't help feeling a little bad for him, as he lay there hyperventilating and hypersalivating due to being overheated.

So, you pour a bottle of water on his head and give him a little encouragement.

"Come on kid, you got this. Just seven more. You did forty three, now you can't do seven? Bullshit, i know you've got it in you."

"My arms..!" He cries.

"Come on, man! Push past it! Force 'em out!"

Although he requires encouragement after every single pushup past number forty three, he actually does manage to make it to 50, eventually.
But you're not done with him quite yet.

"Come on, man! One more!"

"I'm... hah... already! DONE THOUGH!"

"That's right! You took it farther than you thought possible, and now you'll take it one more beyond that! Not for any reward, but just to prove to yourself that you can always do more if you put your mind to it! Now come on!"

"ALRIGHT! GODS DAMN IT, I CAN DO ANYTHING! I'M UNSTOPPABLE! HNNNNNGGGRGRGRRGRGGGGYAAAAAA!"

His eyes are totally bloodshot. He looks like he's about to pop a fuckin' blood vessel. His arms are shaking like a leaf in the wind and he's probably on the verge of passing out, but by god he manages to push himself up one last time.

"HAAAAAHAHAHA!" He laughs out, practically crying as he flops back down onto the ground, unable to hold himself up for even a moment longer.

"Hey, good set. We'll get you fed as soon as you wake up."

"Hah..?"

Asta looks at you, confused but too tired and in too much pain to think about it.

"SHODAN, give him a local gravity field. Zero G."

After a moment passes, Asta begins to float up off the ground.
And then the shift from intense exercise in high gravity to literally zero-g causes his blood pressure to drop dramatically all at once, knocking him unconscious instantly.

"There you go." You coo. "Sleep tight, little fella. Your arms are going to be on fire when you wake up."

"He passsed out? Isss he alright?"

"Oh, sure. I mean, his arms are definitely a mess, but i think we've got some medicine for that."

Gron looks over his charge and finds him sleeping peacefully. He'd have woken up by now, normally... but he's managed to exhaust himself entirely in just half an hour. Caithans really have zero stamina, huh?

"You... knocked him out by manipulating his blood pressure with a gravity field?" Gron realizes. "So casually, at that. Remind me never to piss you off, David."

"I'll bet he riled him up jussst so he could do it, too. Look at that grin on hisss faccce."

"Now though, i must admit that i'm interested to see what you can do, Captain."

"What, like just reps or max deadlift?"

"I'm not sure what you mean, but i'm sure your display would be impressive no matter what."
>>
>>5225314

>Nah, sorry. I'm a little bit injured right now, and i need to go cook a few things anyways.
>Show off a little bit
>Show off a lot
>Write-In?
>>
>>5225315
>Show off a lot
>>
>>5225315
>Show-off a lot
>>
>>5225315
>Show off a lot
>>
>>5225315
>Show off a lot
>>
>>5225315
>Show off a lot
>>
>>5225315
>Show off a lot
Why are these non-fun options on the list?
>>
>>5225315
>>Show off a lot
They'll be mirin'.
>>
>>5225314
>Nah, sorry. I'm a little bit injured right now, and i need to go cook a few things anyways.
>>
>>5225315
>2 finger handstand push-ups in 3G
>>
>>5225315
>Call Cylia, have her sit on your back
>Go to 1.5Gs
>Show off a lot
>>
>>5225315
>>5225338
Backing this too>>5225381
Have her pet Princess too.
>>
>>5225315
>Show off a lot
>GET ME PRINCESS. WE NEED WEIGHTS.
>>
>>5225440
THIS!
LIFT PRINCESS!
>>
>>5225445
How many crew mates can we have on our back while benching them @ 1G?
I'm sure SHODAN would know their weights.

Start with Cylia and Princess, then add the others up to our max.

Or just get them all sitting on us. Know they're all on the lighter side, and given David is about 200lb, and extremely fit, can probably hit 2x bodyweight.
>>
>>5225440
>>5225445
We already have our cozy Princess scarf on. Needless to say removing her was never an option.
>>
>>5225452
i think david could bench all of them; cylia is probably the heaviest and i don't think she weights that much
>>
>>5225463
I feel like Kyla is actually heavier than Cylia. But Gildur is the heaviest fleshy we have.
>>
>>5225315
>>Nah, sorry. I'm a little bit injured right now, and i need to go cook a few things anyways.
>>
>>5225541
Gron did say she was built like a professional body builder, she needed to train her gobbo pussy to take David for hours. So she is definitely denser on that front. Gilder is taller, but I'm not sure if he is bulkier than Cylia.
>>
>>5225676
I just feel like his species is naturally predisposed to packing on muscle more than caithans. But regardless all of our crew is going to be stronger and bigger on account of the increased gravity they live in.

If we really wanted to blow an aliens mind though we'd introduce them to the concept of cold-climate gigantism. Deep-sea creatures where it's freezing all the time tend to be way bigger than warm water counterparts. Arctic creatures are generally larger than temperate dwellers. Seriously you go to a frigid place and the animals basically go up a weight class. Everyone talks up the grizzly bear as this big beast and the kodiak bear just clowns on it.

Makes me wonder if this phenomenon is present in space too. Has to be, right? Cold planet full of big lads.
>>
>>5225704
>I just feel like his species is naturally predisposed to packing on muscle more than caithans.
That would make sense if he wasn't described as close to her size already. He's a lean dogboy. Which may be due to the pirate lifestyle, and we just didn't notice he's been packing on muscle.
>Makes me wonder if this phenomenon is present in space too. Has to be, right? Cold planet full of big lads.
I would bet that cold planets that could produce that phenomenon would be called death worlds, or have a very small predator species. Might find a space moose like our space elk. But something truely Earth huge? Not likely.
>>
>>5225381
+1
>>
>>5225315
>Set up the heavy bag and give it absolutely everything you have. Throw in some Bruce Lee shouts for emphasis.
>>
>>5225853
+1
>>
>>5225314
Inject him with nanites, they will heal all the microtears in his muscles so he will instantly heal, and become bigger and stronger.

Is David doing this, skipping the usual rest and recovery period between workouts by using medical nanites? If we can do this on earth, holy shit /fit/ will have a field day.
>>
>>5225903
Sounds pretty gay if I am being as transparent as I could fathomably be my brother. The rest period is more than just letting your muscles relax and recuperate.
>>
>>5225440
>super show off
>Princess!!
>>
>>5225315
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__qtH1ly2Sg
Has David made doodoo sausages and hotdogs yet?
>>
>>5226166
Not yet, pretty sure we've just been baking and whole frying them.
>>
>>5225913
I agree. We should only splooge our medical nanite goo inside Cylia after a sweaty bout of exercise.
>>
>>5225314

You think on it for a minute, and then decide to go for it.
Placing your palms on the ground... you lift your legs up over your head until you're doing a handstand.

Then, you hook your left arm around your leg as a brace so that you can more easily balance on your right arm alone, and slowly start pushing yourself up.
It's actually really hard to balance like this, but you got plenty of practice in while you were aboard the Nimitz.

"Impresssive control, for sssomeone with two legssss!" Javan comments.

"No, what's impressive is his arm and shoulder strength. How much do you weigh, Captain?"

"Hah... i'm up to... two eighty five... as of this week... hah."

"Two hundred and eighty five pounds? At your size? If i didn't know any better, i might mistake you for a Chondrite."

You quickly flip back up onto your legs and poke your head out into the hallway to call in the girls.

"Cylia! Kyla! Can you come in here for a minute?"

Cylia comes over from the kitchen, why Kyla comes out of the new cargo bay.

Kyla lovingly grabs hold of one of your thighs as she looks over everyone who's come to visit.

"What's up, hun? You're all sweaty! And why's that guy floating?"

"The little guy tuckered himself out, so now he's resting." You explain.

Cylia rolls her eyes.

"So in other words, you trained with him and made him pass out. Got it. What'd you call us in here for, though?"

"Well, i know this is rude to ask, but... how much do you ladies weigh?"

You look Cylia over. She's standing there, hands on her hips with a slight lean... but you'd guess she's around 5'4, maybe 5'5?

"Well, i weigh 105lbs now, after putting on all this muscle. I used to weigh 87lbs."

Christ, is she full of air? Hollow bones like a bird, maybe?

Next, you look down at Kyla, who's currently picking her nose with a dumb, happy expression on her face.

"Kyla?"

She flicks her booger away and responds.

"Me? Uhhh, like 95lbs. I haven't weighed myself in a week or two, though."

So they're both around a hundred pounds, despite their size difference. Either Cylia is really light, or Kyla is extremely dense. Maybe it's a little bit of both...

"Both around a hundred pounds, huh? Bout like a bag of concrete... alright! I need both of you to sit on my back real quick."

You drop down into position and look at both of them expectantly.
Kyla just giggles and hops right on, straddling her legs around your neck... but Cylia, not so much.

"What the hell are you talking about?" She blushes. "Why should i sit on you? Is this another one of your weird human fetishes?"

>Come on, it'll be fun!
>What better way to show off than doing pushups with two good looking girls on my back?
>Are you embarrassed? That's alright, i won't force you into it. (quiet clucking noises)
>Write-in?
>>
>>5226332
>>What better way to show off than doing pushups with two good looking girls on my back?
>>
>>5226332
>No, this is not a fetish thing...for me anyways.
>What better way to show off than doing pushups with two good looking girls on my back?
>>
>>5226332
>>What better way to show off than doing pushups with two good looking girls on my back?
>>
>>5226332
>What better way to show off than doing pushups with two good looking girls on my back?
>What, are you a chicken?
>>
>>5225903
IIRC, it's the muscles trying to compensate for those tears by themselves that eventually yields more muscle mass.
If they get repaired by nanites as opposed to natural bodily processes, won't that just remove the need for the muscles to grow new fibers?
>>
>>5226332
>Kyla lovingly grabs hold of one of your thighs as she looks over everyone who's come to visit.
shoo kyla, you're just a side fuck, not a lover

>Come on, it'll be fun!
>What better way to show off than doing pushups with two good looking girls on my back?
>>
>>5226362
Maybe if nanites work by stimulating natural cell growth instead of straight up stitching cells together? Filling in those tears with new cells will mean more muscle mass.
>>
>>5226332
>"Fetishes? Ooooh, Cyliaaa! Your mind went straight to the gutter!" Teases Kyla with a cheeky grin "Looks like you are thinking about having 'that kind' of ride too."
>"N-no, I wasn't thinking about sex at all-" Stutters Cylia. "Oops, I didn't mean to say sex but- just.. David is- ..Aaaaagh!" She shoves her face into her palms to hide her beet-red blush and gives off a muffled scream..

>What better way to show off than doing pushups with two good looking girls on my back?
>>
>>5226451
that's what the body does already, so it could work
>>
>>5226451
>Maybe if nanites work by stimulating natural cell growth instead of straight up stitching cells together?

>how to increase your risk of developing cancer in one easy step
>>
>>5226332
>"Fetishes? Kyla, why'd you talk about what we did last week?"
>What better way to show off than doing pushups with two good looking girls on my back?
>Come on, it'll be fun!
>Are you embarrassed? That's alright, i won't force you into it. (quiet clucking noises)
>"But seriously, it isn't anything weird this time. You two just fit on my back perfectly to get a good workout in.
>>
>>5226332

Alright, roll me 1d100, best of 3.
DC: 50
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>5226671
watch this
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>5226671
>>
Oh god, someone save us!
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>5226671
Don't worry, men, I got this!
>>
I won't roll anymore.
>>5226684
HE'S GOT THIS!
>>
I wish we had a good pic of a gobbo and catgirl, but those rarely cross in media
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>5226671
Watch this push up!
>>
>>5226684
technically is 54 due to the +1 bonus we have
>>
>>5226695
I forget we only have a plus 1 sometimes. Why isn't it larger with our Bruce Lee training anyways?
>>
>>5226695
The bonus only applies to strength. You're trying to convince Cylia to do embarrassing shit right now.
>>
>>5226701
Sitting on the back of her large Captain as dead weight? Sure she's thicc, but Kyla is the only one showing off right now.
>>
>>5226701
ahhh, gotcha
>>
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>>5226701
Which reminds me,
>"Well, i weigh 105lbs now, after putting on all this muscle. I used to weigh 87lbs."
That's, indeed, the stuff.
>>
>>5226704
people confident in themselves don't need to show off
>>
>>5226721
>Perfect weight to lift up and down.
Kyla, make the joke.
>>5226723
Unless they are short, green, very horny for muscle bound humans, and want to be very blunt and smug that she gets to ride him.
>>
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>>5226332
My man doing the baki
>>
>>5226748
Baki's greatest superpower is literally just saying "But what if...".
No really, it is.
>>
>>5226870
>damn this guy is strong
>what if I pretend I'm a dinosaur so I can be heavier?
It's flat out fucking lunacy. Power of friendship? Nah nigga I just imagine really hard. Fucking baki kek
>>
>>5226943
Baki is baby Ork Gestalt
>>
>>5226943
>How do I beat this Kung Fu master?
>What if I just studied his moves and rehearsed our match so perfectly that I actually got injured?
>How do I go full speed as fast as possible?
>What if I pretended my entire body was a liquid?
>How do I beat my dad in a fight?
>What if I made him think I fucked up a meal he cooked?
Absolute legend.
>>
>>5226332
>Kyla lovingly grabs hold of one of your thighs
Based gobbo waifu.
>>
>>5226332

"No!" You argue. "Well, not for me anyways."

Not at the moment, that is.

"Then why?" Cylia asks, arms crossed.

"Duh? To show off? And what better way is there to show off than doing pushups with two good looking girls on my back?"

Cylia raises an eyebrow at that, but doesn't move.

"...Come on, it'll be fun!"

Kyla leans back while holding onto your head, until she's looking backwards at Cylia.

"Yeah, Cyl! Come on, don't be a scaredy cat! Meow!" She teases.

"Isss thisss normal on other crewsss?" Javan mutters.

Cylia seems hesitant, and her blush is starting to look more like a sunburn, but as Kyla keeps meowing at her she finally relents, stomping her foot and yelling.

"FINE! Damn it, you bunch of weirdos! I just keep getting dragged deeper and deeper into this stuff..."

All in one motion she hops up and sits on the small of your back, crossing her legs and arms in a huff.

"Beautiful! Alright girls, here we go! HUP!"

You belt out ten, then twenty, then thirty pushups like it's nothing.
And it's not, really. Compared to the special training you went through back in the day... and some of what you've been doing more recently.

"Hah! Hey, SHODAN! Crank up the gravity for me, will you? Slowly this time, up to 1.5G."

"Affirmative, Captain.

"Hey, we're gonna feel that too you know." Cylia complains.

"Don't worry, it's just for a while!"

Over the course of 30 seconds you feel the weight increase, but it's not as much as you'd like.

"Crank it up to 2G, SHODAN! Just for a minute!"

You hear both the girls grunt as the weight increases further, with Cylia having to put her legs down and brace her arms against your back to keep from falling.

"D-David, it's getting hard to breathe..." She cries.

You guess that's about their limit, even for a short duration.
Ten more pushups later, you have SHODAN cut the gravity.

As soon as the weigh lifts, Cylia and kyla both start coughing and wheezing.
Cylia jumps down and stumbles away, looking a little bit dizzy. She has to lean against the wall to catch her breath.

"Yo, Cyl? You good over there?"

"Yeah, yeah... fine. Why wouldn't i be? I'm having so much fun..."

You'll have to make it up to her later. She did humor you, after all.
However, you're not quite done playing around yet. After all, two times gravity might be their limit, but it's certainly not yours.

"Alright, SHODAN! Three times gravity, just on me!"

Cylia is slinking off before you can drag her into something else, but Kyla and the others are still watching intently.
The heavy bag is still set up here in the workshop, so you walk over. As soon as your personal gravity field envelops the bag, the frame groans and sags down under the weight.

Javan's eyes widen, and Gron is watching you very carefully as you start laying into the bag. Neither of them have said anything for a while now.

First, a light one-two that barely moves it. Then a little harder. And a little harder. And then...

"One... TWO!"
>>
>>5227415
Yeah David beat that bag like an italian man beats his wife!
>>
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>>5227415
>[Aliens' silent decision to not let humanity become spaceborne intensifies]
>>
>>5227415
Poor Cylia. She thought she was just gonna relax and sit on David's extremely muscular back and instead got her organs squished.

Should have just asked Javan to drape over him. She's probably got plenty of mass.
>>
>>5227415
She was right it was hot to have her ride David, she forgot he's impulsive and doesn't think twice about doing something insane. At least Kyla enjoys it.
>>
>>5227512
Yeah let's check her vertebrae later. There is a good chance she got a compression fracture.
And kyla, IDK does she even have bones¿?
>>
>>5227776
Good excuse for a sensual massage
>>
>>5227415

You immediately notice something wrong by the feel of the punch, and an instant later by the spray of sand and gravel as the bag tears open.
The reduction in weight causes it to lift up a bit too high, and when it drops back down the sudden impact folds the frame it's hanging from in half like a sheet of paper.

"Ah... shit. Well, that's just a bunch of sand everywhere."

You turn around from the ruined mess of your heavy bag to see Javan's jaw hanging down, and Gron staring at you with one eyebrow raised.

"Rocks and sand...?" He asks.

"Uhhh..."

"You know i'm not literally made out of rocks, don't you? My flesh just has a high mineral content."

"No, i don't really know that, to be honest."

Gron begins walking towards you, hand outstretched like he plans to put his hand on your shoulder.

"I can't blame you for that. There are many rumors about my..."

He stops as soon as his arm enters the 3x gravity field around you.
His arm sags low for a moment, and he seems shocked. He waves his arm around in the air to test the weight.

"...Seriously?" He asks.

"...Yeah? I said out loud what she was setting it to, didn't i?"

Gron steps partway into the gravity field, and you can see the muscles in his leg bulge as he's forced to put far more weight on it that normal.
He grunt under the strain as he forcibly pulls his body back out of the field.

"Good gods. I thought you were bullshitting me. What maniac actually subjects themselves to such a powerful gravity field?"

"You just tried to step into it yourself, though..." You point out.

"Yes, well..."

"And besides, i can handle even more than this. It's not a big deal."

"Your gravity generator can go even higher? Why, though?"

"There'sss no way thisss can be healthy."

"SHODAN! Up it to five times on me!"

"Affirmative. Redirecting power to gravity generator."

You hear a faint hum from the mechanical room as the lights dim ever so slightly, and the weight on you increases even further.
Before, you could barely stand in this kind of gravity field... but you've been training your legs hard, and now you can handle it.

That said, you still weigh over 1400lbs right now. Actually walking at this weight is a challenge.

"Hell yeah... brother...! Pui-Pui might be... proud of this one!" You force out inbetween g-straining to ensure you stay conscious. "Vegeta though... maybe not so much!"

You take a simple fighting stance and throw a few test punches. They feel incredibly slow and heavy compared to normal, but you're sure they'd still pack a punch.
Gron, Javan and Kyla all watch on as you take enormously heavy steps and work through your usual shadow boxing routine.

"Perhaps it was a mistake to ally myself with this madman." Gron grumbles.

"He'sss nutsss." Javan adds.

"Yeah, you can do it, big guy! Look at those muscles!"

Well, at least Kyla's cheering you on.

"Living... the dream... baby!" You wheeze out. You wave to one of the ship cameras, and SHODAN slowly lowers the gravity.
>>
>>5228629
David you absolutely silly man. Well, at least he can handle 5x gravity now as opposed to the first time he used it to kill that Chameleon guy. Speaking of we still need to run some experiments on it and figure out what kind of alien species it belongs too.
>>
>>5228636
We can probably explain how we used 5x to take out an assassin, and how acclimating to G forces gives you that level of tactical flexibility on the home turf
>>
>>5228629
For a hairless ape, Vegeta would be so proud of us. Truly, we will become as badass as him yet.
>>
>>5228636
>gravity now as opposed to the first time he used it to kill that Chameleon guy
It was 10G
>>
https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?searchall=humanity+-+fuck+yeah%21
anyway don't forget to give it a +1
>>
>>5228688
>>5228689
https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2021/4866191/#p4873320
Ah fuck it was 5g
That shit is going to mind control you
>>
>>5228692
SHODAN with her new Samsung transmitter putting the 5g straight into our brain it's not a conspiracy it's true the end is nigh!

That being said this retrovirus cleaning up our DNA is out of control. Straight up "This is what peak performance looks like" on a cellular level. Either humanity has such fragmented and damaged DNA naturally that we're walking babies or this Grey shit is filling in the holes with something it most certainly shouldn't.
>>
>>5228693
Yeah, QM said it was to enhance david's oxigen retention to work better in low O2 air (normal space air) but that got out of hand
>>
>>5228693
>Either humanity has such fragmented and damaged DNA naturally that we're walking babies or this Grey shit is filling in the holes with something it most certainly shouldn't.
yes to both. i mean we knew that our genome was full of crap and random useless bits since the 2000s; if the retrovirus is actually cleaning up david's genome, it will be a wonder to see the full results, although i don't think we'll see them until he has a kid
>>
>>5228629
You go you wannabe Saiyan. Kyla is a sweet girl....I wonder if Cylia is peeking again.
>>
>>5228629
Imagine if we actually manage to acclimate to 10 G's one day.
At that point, we will have transcended our humanity completely.
>>
>>5228693
>Either humanity has such fragmented and damaged DNA naturally that we're walking babies
I mean, we are constantly subject to minute amounts of solar radiation.
Then there's all the nasty shit that Humans have been exposed to in the most recent centuries of recorded history.
It really wouldn't surprised me if Human DNA was mostly just garbage now.
>or this Grey shit is filling in the holes with something it most certainly shouldn't
If we start flying or seeing through walls, I'll give you full credit.
>>
>>5229163
It’s mostly ancient viruses and parasites that were so successful they integrated into our DNA (effectively) that clutter up the human genome. Mutations (that aren’t literally cancer) don’t really occur that often, radioactive environment or not.
>>
https://www.sciencealert.com/new-evidence-suggests-at-least-75-of-the-human-genome-is-actually-junk-dna

It seems DNA is not junk per se but a buffer against the ruinous powers
>>
>>5228629

Well, you're completely exhausted and you think your wounds have re-opened, but that was still a lot of fun for you.
Although, the air in here is still really thin. You can't exactly increase it either, or else the crew would get oxygen poisoning.

"Hah... hah... how was that... hah..." You gasp.

"Are you ssstupid or sssomething?"

"That's a great way to give yourself an aneurysm, Human."

"I didn't ask... hah... whether you thought it was a good idea or not."

"...Yes, technically speaking, it was a very impressive show. Extremely dangerous, but impressive."

"Hell yeah! That's what it's all about, baby! Gravity training is the future!"

"Rather, i'd say there's no future for someone who partakes in gravity training."

"Can you feel the fluid building up in your lungsss yet, captain?"

"There's no fluid in my lungs! Look man, fighter pilots train up to way higher g-forces than that. Admittedly, not sustained for long periods of time, and they certainly aren't walking around in it, and they're using special suits that squeeze the blood back up to their brain, but..."

"I think you've just further proven my point, captain... also, you're bleeding."

"Huh? Ah... shit."

Sure enough, the wound on your side has re-opened and is currently soaking your clothes with even more blood. At least you can't feel it.

"Alright, sorry but i've gotta take care of this real quick. I'll bring Asta his meal as soon as he wakes up. You guys can just... i dunno, hang around i guess."

Gron and Javan look at eachother and shrug.
You on the other hand rush over to the medical bay which, for the first time in a while is actually clean enough to use properly.

Inside, you find Gildur wearing safety goggles, a gas mask, rubber gloves and an apron, polishing a monitor using some kind of solvent.

"Hey, Gildur. What's that you're cleaning with?"

"...Alcohol." He responds, somewhat muffled.

"And you need all that safety equipment for it?"

"Yes, captain. If it gets on my eyes, it could blind me. If it gets on my skin, it could poison me. If i breathe it in... it could burn my lungs."

"And it's just alcohol? Nothing else in there?"

"Yes, captain."

"Great!"

You strip off your shirt, your bandages bandages and the skinsuit so that you have access to your bare flesh. The wound looks... not great, honestly. Not only did it not seal up in the first place, the edges are blackened with necrosis already.
Grabbing the bottle of alcohol out of Gildur's hand, you open it up and rip off the spout so that you can pour it directly onto the wound.

Despite being numbed by medicine, you can still feel the burn and are forced to grit your teeth through the pain.
Gildur stands there in shock, dropping the rag he was cleaning with like he forgot he was holding it.

Using more alcohol, you wet the wound, clean off the clotted blood and pat it down with a sterile rag.
>>
>>5230106
>pour it directly onto the wound.
Ow.
>>
>>5230106
I did that before, it burns like a motherfucker.
>>
>>5230106
YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DAB ALCOHOL AROUND THE WOUND. NOT IN THE WOUND YOU DUMB FUCK AFGANISTAN VETERAN

That's what I would say
>>
>>5230106
>>5230292
you're supposed to wash a wound out with sterile water and manually remove debris, while using mild soap around the wound itself (but not in it)
You only want to pour alcohol on a wound in a situation where washing it out isn't necessary, because it'll cause cell damage and slow healing, possibly promoting scars too.
As far as space-tech goes, I'm sure these guys have developed a way of sterilizing wounds without needing liquid at all. I can imagine them using a brief flash of UV or something similar to kill shit off the surface, followed by some kind of a nontoxic gel for the wound itself.
>>
>>5230302
>>5230292
suffice to say that david isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.
>>
>>5230106
>Wasting that much alcohol
>Not washing the wound out first
>Doing stunts that rip open just-patched wounds in the first place
I bet David's medics fucking loved him, huh?
>>
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>>5230658
He's hi-speed lo-drag. Besides he's fine for duty. Said so himself Ha-Ha.
>>
>>5230658
>meanwhile cylia is in her room, properly taking care of her wounds and undoing whatever criss-cross mess david did
>>
>>5230658
>"Where the fuck is my fentanyl"...
>"LCPL ROCKEFELLER"
>>
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>>5230966
>David: "mmmm lollypops"
>>
>>5230106

"Gildur."

"C-Captain? I wasn't finished cleaning..."

"GIldur, get me a scalpel, some local anaesthetic and some of that burn gel."

"W-What? Y-Y-You don't have a-any..."

Gildur is trembling in place for some reason, and can't even complete his sentence.
You roll your eyes and move him aside to open up one of the wall cabinets.

"Let's see... poly-gel... antifungal gel... need some more of that too, actually. Ah, there it is. Burn gel."

Medicated Burn Gel, by Medicorp! For all your skin-regrowing needs.
Sure, it may not be that fancy 3D printed stim cell bullshit, but it still works wonders on small cuts and abrasions.

You start off by taking a hypodermic needle, something you had to print yourself, and filling it up with some of the galaxy's finest watered-down anesthetics.
You don't know what's in this shit, exactly, but it's serious weaksauce compared to what the greys were using on you. All that means though, is that you either need a bigger dose or a more direct injection.

You inject yourself beneath the skin at six points around the slash wound and rub the liquid deep into your muscles. It doesn't even take five minutes before the whole area is thoroughly numbed.
Next, you lay down on the operating table and bring one of it's surgical camera arms down to get a good look at the wound.

"SHODAN, patch the camera feed through to my holopad."

"Very well, Captain. However, i must inform you that this seems like a terrible idea, even for a human."

"It'll be fine. More importantly, i need to get rid of the infected tissue. My wounds should have sealed up with the help of the nanobots impregnated into that gauze, but they didn't."

"Don't you think that's because you were exerting yourself like an idiot?"

"Oh, that's definitely what caused it. But i've tested these medical nanobots before, and their performance is insane. I mean, it's not like it would have been properly healed, but it shouldn't have come open again. And besides that, take a look..."

You run your finger across the dead flesh lining the wound.

"That's not normal. I don't know if it's poison or something else, but flesh doesn't die and rot away that quickly. Not in a human."

"Can't you get Sanig to do this? Self-surgery isn't your only option."

"...I can do it myself. I don't need anyone's help for this."

"Nobody said you did, David. That doesn't mean you can't accept their help."

>Just do it yourself, quick and painless. You have plenty of experience as a field medic, and you know how to handle your own body better than anyone.
>You guess SHODAN's right. This shouldn't be particularly dangerous, and you know you could handle it just fine... but it might worry the crew a bit.
>>
>>5231075
>Just do it yourself, quick and painless. You have plenty of experience as a field medic, and you know how to handle your own body better than anyone.

this is the correct david answer, even if it will backfire in the very near future
>>
>>5231075
>Just do it yourself, quick and painless. You have plenty of experience as a field medic, and you know how to handle your own body better than anyone.
>But call Sanig in too so he can take a sample.
Oh God Cylia was hit with this stuff too!
>Call Cylia to medical and Javan, if Wraith claws do this to humans, those two might be worse off
>>
>>5231075
>>You guess SHODAN's right. This shouldn't be particularly dangerous, and you know you could handle it just fine... but it might worry the crew a bit.
We are not a lone russian surgeon with apendicitis
>>
Cylia and Javan should be priority one. Is Gron's mute medic onboard? Any proper medic, really. We need more hands working on this.
>>
>>5231116
>>5231104
that's too logical for david
>>
>>5231075
>You guess SHODAN's right. This shouldn't be particularly dangerous, and you know you could handle it just fine... but it might worry the crew a bit.
>>
What is she talking about doing it alone? She's helping us right now. We don't need anything more than that.
>>
>>5231075
>Just do it yourself, quick and painless. You have plenty of experience as a field medic, and you know how to handle your own body better than anyone.

Also, support for >>5231100
>>
>>5231075
Let Sanig handle it. The fact that wraith claws cause necrosis could be a useful bit of information in his research anyway.
>>
>>5231162
I wonder if it isn't just the claws, but they have a venom gland in their hands that coat the claws.
>>
>>5231167
That's the most likely explanation but it could be acid, exotic matter, disease, or nanomachines.
>>
>>5231177
Ectoplasm.
>>
>>5231179
>Space Ectoplasm is more dangerous than Earth Ectoplasm
Weird flex but good for space.
>>
>>5231177
Actually, now that I think about it, could it be hyper concentrated Dark Matter in a liquid state?
>>
>>5231255
>space ectoplasm
Spectoplasm
>>
>>5231259
Genius.
>>
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>>5231255
>>5231259
>>
>>5231075
>>You guess SHODAN's right. This shouldn't be particularly dangerous, and you know you could handle it just fine... but it might worry the crew a bit.
>>
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>>5231075
>You guess SHODAN's right. This shouldn't be particularly dangerous, and you know you could handle it just fine... but it might worry the crew a bit.

Hand of God realistic body for Shodan when?
>>
>>5231449
David doesnt strike me as a Anime player. Mass Effect does sound right up his alley though.
>>
>>5231476
Until 3 that is, unless his timeline got the actually finished version.
>>
>>5231485
>implying the ME series aren't the videogame equivalent of a crappy soap opera.

>XXKSP
>>
>>5231488
It is, but color code endings are shit.
>>
>>5231075
Get Gramps, his species is built upon fucking with biology and lord knows he finds Dave freakish already.
>>
>>5231075
>You guess SHODAN's right. This shouldn't be particularly dangerous, and you know you could handle it just fine... but it might worry the crew a bit.
Have Cylia looked at as well.
>>
>>5231075
>Just do it yourself, quick and painless. You have plenty of experience as a field medic, and you know how to handle your own body better than anyone.
But let's also ask Sanig to oversee the procedure, so he could help in unforseen complications. Cylia should be examined, too.
>>
>>5231075
>You guess SHODAN's right. This shouldn't be particularly dangerous, and you know you could handle it just fine... but it might worry the crew a bit.
>>
DAVID IS NOT RUSSIAN
DAVID WHY DAMN IT WHY
>>
>>5231075
>>You guess SHODAN's right. This shouldn't be particularly dangerous, and you know you could handle it just fine... but it might worry the crew a bit.
We need to put more trust in our crew dammit.
>>
>>5231075

You open your mouth to speak, but think better of it.

You hate having to be taken care of, but you also don't want to worry anyone. Sometimes it's better to just let them do what they want.
Even though you could definitely handle this on your own, as you were about to.

"...Alright, alright." You sigh. "Let me go round everyone up real quick."

You sit up and get ready to walk to the door, but before you can stand the door opens up with Gildur and Sanig already there. You guess Gildur ran off to get him while you were getting ready to cut yourself up.

"You godsdamned idiot, what the hell do you think you're doing?!" Sanig yells.

"I was just coming to get you, actually. I-"

"Shut up and lay down, dumbass! Let me get a look at this thing."

"Alright, calm down... and Gildur, go get Cylia and Javan. We need to look them over next."

"R-Right, Captain! Sorry!"

Sanig lowers the table down to his height and starts looking the wound over.

"Hrm. Deep lacerations, down to the bone in some places. Still bleeding freely... in fact, it seems a bit thin."

"That's because i soaked the wound in alcohol."

"You..."

He starts to complain, but just smacks his own forehead and sighs.

"Don't fucking do that. Don't pour alcohol into your godsdamned wounds, even you should know that!"

"Nothing better for cleaning it out, man. Don't want to get an infection. It's also real good for washing away dried blood."

"If you were any other species it'd kill you, idiot. If not from the pain, then from the poisoning. Even if it's you, it can't be good for you. We have sterile water and antibiotic gel for that, use those instead."

"Alright, alright..."

Sanig looks over the wound a little more, and stretches the skin around it.

"...You already injected something? What was it?"

"Local anesthetic. Medicorp Class 3, not whatever that blue shit is."

"Good, that "blue shit" isn't good for you. Don't get me wrong, it works, but.... i'd rather use something else."

Gildur comes in a short while later with Javan and Cylia, who watch on while Sanig continues his examination.

"What's causing this discoloration?" He asks. "It looks like dead flesh, but it couldn't be. Not this quickly. I haven't seen you injured very often, so is it part of your healing process or something?"

"Nope. It's necrotic flesh. Not just dead, but already starting to rot away. That's why i was in a hurry to cut it off. If it spreads, you know..."

Sanig slowly pulls his hands back away from the area and hurries over to the sink to scrub his hands.
When he comes back, he's wearing two layers of gloves.

"Ehem. Yes, well, perhaps an excision would be for the best, then. I see you already have a scalpel ready. What's the burn gel for, though?"

"The gel? I've been using it on all of my wounds. It's got something in there that grows skin back really quickly. Some kind of artificial hormone, i think. I couldn't find any details on their site."
>>
Just a heads up, there'll probably be no update tomorrow due to easter festivities.
Hope you lads all have a nice easter weekend!
>>
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>>5232293
Thanks QM, happy easter!
>>
>>5232293
I got drunjs.x
>>
>>5232293
Happy Easter.
>>
>>5232293
Feliz semana santa
>>
>>5232293
Like >>5232578 said, feliz semana santa qm
>>
>>5232154

"It'll leave a scar, you know? Aren't you better off using regular medi-gel and a bandage?"

"Nah... every scar tells a tale, you know? I wouldn't say i'm proud of my scars, exactly, but... there's always this feeling of nostalgia when i see one and remember where it came from."

"Alright. Well, you're gonna be seeing that one on your face pretty often, kid. I don't know what it looks like under that bandage, but if this one's anything to go by..."

"Hey, at least it didn't reach my eye."

"True, kid. True. Getting a replacement bionic for that might be a little bit challenging, since nobody knows a damned thing about your biology."

You silently wonder if Sanig has any remaining connections to the greys that he could leverage in that sort of situation.
It might be possible to sell off your biological data in exchange for prosthetics, if you really needed to... assuming you had an in.

"Hold still, kid. I'm gonna peel this bandage off..."

You can feel fresh blood trickle down your face as the dried, congealed blood plugging the wound is removed along with the bandage.

"Same deal here..." Sanig informs you. "Necrotized flesh. The skin is thin here, and the cut is pretty deep. I can see your skull."

"Damn, that's pretty bad. Can we patch it up?"

"You're not a robot, idiot. I can't just weld you back together."

"You kinda can, actually. See the needle and thread on the tray right there?"

Sanig looks over and back at you. There's nothing but a blank expression on his face.

"He uh... he actually already did that to me, Sanig. It looked pretty clean, i think." Cylia tells him.

"Seriously? Even if it works like that for you... wait a minute, did you get cut too, girl? Why didn't you mention that already?!"

Sanig rushes over to her, leaving you bleeding on the operating table.

"Where is it?! Where's the wound?!"

Cylia pulls off her shirt and shows him the wound, visible through the cut in her skinsuit.
Unlike yours, there isn't any dead flesh around her wound. In fact, after removing the gauze and bandages, you see that it looks perfectly clean, with little inflammation.

"...It looks fine. Besides being sewn back together like a piece of cloth, that is. Are you sure it was a wraith that cut you, girl?"

"Yeah. Definitely. The same kind that attacked him, too."

"I don't get it, then. You both complained about the wound burning, didn't you? Why would their poison affect the kid, but not you?"

You might have a simple answer for that, actually...

"Ahem..." You cough, direction attention back to yourself.

They both look at you like they forgot you existed for a moment, and Cylia quickly puts her shirt back down.

"Maybe both wounds were burning, but one was more painful than the other. A laceration can burn like hell, even if there's no poison in it, you know? But with my pain tolerance..."

"It's all relative..." Sanig finishes. "Yeah, i guess it's possible. Just because an animal has poison, doesn't mean it uses it every time."
>>
>>5234233
Weird, this means they're smart enough to decide to poison...or we have a weird reaction to Wraith attacks.
>>
>>5234346
I gotta imagine there's at least one thing out in space that nobody cares about that is actually a huge fuck you to humans.
>>
>>5234348
I can't wait! Its gonna be fun.
>>
>>5234348
>the space equivalent of pollen
>triggers an almost immediate stroke if inhaled by humans
Brutal.
>>
>>5234233
Yes! Topless Cylia! Cylia's toned midriff!
>>
>>5234348
>>5234382
Yeah it’ll probably have something to do with our (comparatively) hyperactive and hyper powerful immune system. I wonder if other species even have to worry about organ transplant rejection or buildup of scar tissue around cybernetic implant neural-links.

Uhh, actually if there’s an issue with that latter one it’ll probably be happening to the interfaces in our brain from the translator implant first…
>>
>>5234450
Cultured
>>
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>>5234450
HMMMM Cylia's flesh mounds covered in fur!!!!
Little insinuations of her hard muscle hidden beneath her hair!!!!
AAAAhhhh cylia's tuffy armpits full of sex glands!!!!! SNIFF Sorry it ended up like that, hard to ignore. You never know if she smells nice, she's an alien. See pic related
>>
>>5234450
>>5234605
goddammit you weirdos
>>
>>5234612
Hey at least the first one was normal, the second guy made it weird.
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>>5234605
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>>5234716
yeah, but the first one gave the second one enough courage to write that bullshit
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>>5234773
I doubt that, those pitfags don't care and will do what they want.
>>
>>5234829
>>5234773
I didn't planned it. The last phrase just, showed up. *pop*
>>
>>5234872
Wanna try that again in English?
>>
>>5234605
What the fuck is wrong with you?
>>
>>5234233

"It's possible they were just pissed off at me, i dunno. I was fighting four of them at once, and it was a little hectic. And uh... yeah, i guess they did gang up because i tortured one of them to death." You admit.

"You tortured a wraith to death?" Sanig asks.

"Well, i was looking for some sort of vital organ that could kill them quickly. Which i found, by the way."

"Yes, the stone... well, i can't blame you. I'd have done the same."

Sanig grabs some antibacterial spray and a rag and begins cleaning out the wound across your eye.
Unfortunately, forehead and facial wounds tend to bleed a lot, which makes it somewhat difficult.

"Sanig, he's losing a lot of blood, isn't he? Is he going to be alright?"

Cylia seems genuinely worried.

"Shouldn't be a problem. He's got the demon blood, after all."

What?

"What?"

"It's red, see? That typically means he uses a more efficient iron-based chemical process to carry oxygen, rather than copper-based blue blood. That, and... well, he probably got his booster shot as soon as the original crew of this ship picked him up."

"You didn't explain why it's called "demon blood"..." Cylia complains

"And what's this about a booster shot?" You ask.

Sanig rolls his eyes as he grabs a needle and numbs the area around your head wound. Then he grabs a scalpel and begins cutting away the dead flesh around the wound. He then uses a medicated wipe to stem the flow of blood from your cut.

"It's called demon blood because it's typically only found in so-called "Demons" from the common man's perspective. In other words, apex predators. If something bleeds red, it's probably strong as hell."

As soon as the wound stops bleeding, he disinfects it and fills the cut with burn gel to stimulate cell growth and promote healing. You can feel him applying a thin layer of synthetic artificial skin lattice over the surface before applying a bandage.

"And as for the booster shot... it's something the scouts give to any new species they plan on taking in long-term. As you know, all unmodified species have a mess of a genome due to the nature of natural evolution. And the harsher the environment, the worse that can get."

Next, he moves on to the cut around your side. It's already been numbed, so he disinfects it with the spray and begins cutting.

"It's basically just a mix of all-purpose nanobots, designed to work on most, if not all genomes to one degree or another. It's not perfect, not by a long shot, but it works about 99% of the time thanks to the swarm's self-learning algorithm."

You see Sanig placing long, thin strips of black flesh into a bag, probably for further study.

"They optimize the creature's genetic code, allowing it to adapt to what it might consider a harsh environment, with low gravity, low air pressure and hardly any oxygen. Garbage data is stripped out, and new, more efficient code is added in it's place..."
>>
>>5235724
But that will render David's babies super duper super duper prone to mutations!!! Not that greys bothered about that... and they didn't even had penises to begin with
>>
>>5235724
sanig will shit himself the moment we tell him that most if not all of the wildlife on earth bleeds red
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>>5235724
That means we can breed with all of the women. David, Go faster
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>>5235734
>tfw the only thing you can think of that doesn't bleed red are insects and a handful of invertebrates
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>>5235822
The only things on earth that bleed blue are arthropods (little to no brain) and mollusks (no brain).
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>>5235854
I just smashed a bug. The fluid was certainly not blue or red. And arthropods are invertebrates. Granted on the bug front it could just be a lack of quantity making it not show through the other bodily fluids.

Therefore I will claim I am correct and have a brain the size of a watermelon.
>>
>>5235885
If it was clear, that's the color of de-oxygenated hemocyanin (bug blood).
>>
>>5235724
>"THEY WHAT? I'M A FUCKING SUPER-SOLDIER NOW?!"
>>
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>>5235885
Watermelons can get pretty small man.
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>>5235990
Kinda greenish brown? Brownish green? Looked like shit. Probably slapped it too hard and mashed it's body into paste partly as well.

>>5236085
Sure but look how smooth and cute it is. That's a good brain. Er, watermelon.
>>
>>5236085
Human brain is about the size of two fists put together, most of your skull is just armor and padding for it.
>>5236097
Yeah, brownish greenish yellow is bug guts. There's not actually much blood in a bug unless it's stolen some, like a mosquito.
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>>5235724
Sanig, all life baring a few species of invertebrates and a few insects bleed red. Even our aquatic life. Its just oxygenated blood.
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>>5235724
>"Hey Sanig, I recently remembered that they said something about me being from a level 12. What's that all about, like uh, water content or gravity or somerthing?"
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>>5235885
you stupid fuck face cunt goblin
insects don't have blood
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>>5236388
According to my japanese manga, you are correct
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>>5236388
Found the literal bugman. Go back to the Men In Black DVD box set sold at an 80% discount you gigantic moody space cockroach.
>>
>>5236388
To be fair, he is right. Insects have hemolymph instead. But it's analogous in function to blood.
>>
>>5235724

"Woah, woah, woah. Hold on a minute. That's not garbage data! It's redundant DNA that helps protect us against cancer! And other shit, probably!"

"Yeah? So what? We've had pills for that for a thousand years. You don't need it." He states, matter-of-factly.

"Well what if it makes me genetically incompatible with other humans?!"

"What? Aren't you porking our engineer? I thought you humans only kept one mate."

"Buh...!"

There's a lot you'd like to say to that, but it's also a slippery slope. You're also not sure you want to talk about this in front of the present company.

"Besides, kid. It's already done. And i'm not the one who spliced you, so don't go crying to me. Now hold still!"

"Oh shit, not the staple gun!"

You jerk away from him reflexively, but it turns out that he's just holding a paintbrush for some reason.

"Staple gun? What the hell are you talking about, kid?"

"Ah... well, sometimes if you've got a big gash or surgical wound, you end up getting your skin stapled shut. It hurts like a bitch."

SHODAN drops a monitor down from the cluster of tools hanging above the surgery table and displays a short video of what you're talking about, because Sanig still has no clue what a "staple" is.

You hear the sound of the staple gun going off several times, and the look on Sanig's face is something else.

"Gods! You humans are fucking barbarians! What's wrong with you all?!"

"Hey, it's not stupid if it works!"

"I never said it was stupid, i said it was barbaric! Now hold still, gods-damn it!"

"Why? What's on that paintbrush?"

Sanig holds up a small jar full of clear liquid to show you what he's using.

"It's polymer cement. It goes over the strips of artificial skin lattice to seal them and the wound against outside dust, debris and bacteria."

"That... that's just superglue! We do that on earth, too!"

"It is NOT construction adhesive! This is the proper tool for the job, purpose-built to be non-toxic and easy to remove after the fact!"

"Superglue is easy to remove, too! You just need to rub acetone on it!"

"Alright, now i know your whole species has officially fucking lost it! By god, if you ever get loose in the wider galaxy-"

It takes a solid twenty minutes for Sanig to finish looking after both you and Cylia. Javan got a once-over but didn't appear to have any cuts or wounds, except for a bruise and some swelling on her head.
When you stumble out of the medical room, you feel like a million bucks.

"I feel like a million bucks!" You shout, both hands on your hips.

"He's loopy from all the sedatives he injected himself with." Sanig informs everyone. "Enough to stop a slyvern's heart, by my estimate. He'll be fine in an hour or two."

"I thought they were local anesthetics, though?" Cylia asks.

"Oh yeah? Well, i thought the bottle said "half a milligram MAXIMUM" but what the fuck do i know. I'm going to work on the new cargo bay, don't call me."

"Cylia!" You shout. "Let's make some egg-drop soup!"

"..What?"
>>
>>5236780
>"Cylia!" You shout. "Let's make some egg-drop soup!"
I hate this shit. The texture. My momma does soup as usual and drops eggs at the end, so everyone gets an egg that's runny yolk with white surrounding it
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>>5236810
...She drops whole eggs into regular soup and calls it egg drop soup?
>>
>>5236810
>>5236815
kek you casuals need eat egg soup while I just eat them scrambled
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>>5236817
scrambled? what a pleb. fried egg is way better
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>>5236815
No, the concept of "egg drop" doesn't exist in Chile... wait she calls it huevito caído... oh fuck it is "egg drop" but the soup is just soup with an egg. I'll prepare tomorrow and put pictures
>>
>>5236780
Wait until Sanig finds out that humans naturally produce Acetone in their bodies.
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>>5236810
I'm sorry to tell you that your mother is not making egg drop soup correctly.
>>5236864
Not just acetone, but all sorts of 'you shouldn't drink or inhale this' chemicals like formaldehyde!
>>
>>5236780
I love Sanig arguing with a Marine over the legitimacy of construction materials as medical supplies.
>"Alright, now i know your whole species has officially fucking lost it! By god, if you ever get loose in the wider galaxy-"
Poor Grandpa, he has no idea how right he is, obviously not how much an outlier David is, but still.
>"Cylia!" You shout. "Let's make some egg-drop soup!"
>"..What?"
I need to know how red her face is and if she thought it was a sex thing.
>>
>>5236883
Wait, we make formaldehyde? How and why?
>>
>>5236886
Bruh, google.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/08/170816134721.htm
>>
>>5236817
>>5236837
>Cooking your eggs instead of consuming them raw, shell and all, like God intended
shiggy diggy
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>>5236976
>not eating the chicken whole which still has an egg inside it
wooowooo
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>>5236978
>eating the chicken instead of eating the egg, therefore eating the future chickens and future eggs
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>>5236780
Don't forget to drop a whole block of butter into the soup. Absolutely delicious. I take that David always keeps a pot of broth simmering away at the kitchen with leftover dodo bones and carcass bits for that steady supply of lovely collagen-rich bouillon?
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>>5236979
>wasting time chewing with your mouth parts instead of just absorbing the life energy of the man of plato directly
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>>5236991
>consuming anything at all
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>>5236886
>>5236916
Better still, the tiny amount of formaldehyde that humans produce naturally is broken down by normal metabolic processes into formic acid, the stinging chemical ants get their scientific name from. IIRC that's near the end of the chain, and it gets broken into CO and H2O after that and exhaled.
>>
>not eating a fetus chicken like the chinese
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>>5236884
Kek
>>
>>5236978
I wonder if hard boiled eggs in a chicken would actually work well as a meal.
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>>5237252
I feel like twice cooking the eggs would make them taste awful but I've never done it so I got no clue. Unless you mean to boil them in the chicken. Which would be a pain in the ass to pull them out and deshell them just to shove em back in.
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>>5237261
twice cooking, but yeah, needs testing.
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>>5237252
>>5237261

I've eaten stuffed boneless chicken with eggs in 'em, but they really are a pain in the ass to make
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I had to phonepost for this one, but I promised I was ging to make soup with a whole egg
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>>5238131
>phoneposting
absolutely unforgivable
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>>5238112
>>5238131
That wouldn't be the worst looking thing I'd ever eaten.
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>>5238112
so its definitely like the chinese counterpart. or at least close enough
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>>5236780

Now in the kitchen, you take the lid off a pot at the back of the stove to reveal a steadily-simmering pot of bone broth.

"Ahhh... looks wonderful!"

"It looks disgusting. Aren't those the bones leftover from our meal with the Oni sisters?"

"Indeed they are! And they make a wonderful soup base, with a little preparation."

Lifting the pot up, you put it to the side and remove the spent bones, tossing them aside for Princess, who immediately swallows them whole.
You'd be worried about her choking, but they dissolve within like thirty seconds, from what you can tell.

"Alright, let's get this ring on here..."

Using a metal locking ring, you secure several layers of cheese cloth to a second, identical pot and, after manually skimming off any scum from the top, pour the rest of the soup through the cloth to filter it.
What's left is a clean, albeit somewhat murky-looking soup base. To clear it up, you place the stock in a sink full of icy water, and after it's cool enough, crack a couple of eggs into the base and mix them in thoroughly.
Next, you heat the base back up until the egg proteins cook up, trapping all the fine particles left in the stock. Now it's nice and clear!

"Oh, wow. It looks a lot better now, actually... and it smells great!" Cylia comments.

"Don't drool into the stock." You reprimand. "Now, mix up two tablespoons of vegetable starch with the warm water over there, would you?"

"This white powder?" She asks, picking up the wrong container and turning it over.

"No, that's baking soda. The one next to it! Look, i wrote "cornstarch" on the side."

"David... this is completely illegible."

"It's called CURSIVE and if i had to learn how to write it, you've got to learn how to read it. Shouldn't your implant be compensating for that, anyways?"

"I think even our implants have their limits..."

"Whatever, just mix it up, would you?"

While Cylia is busy with that, you use a modified sonicator pen to cut open the top of a dodo egg and insert the single blade of what is essentially a fancy, food-grade concrete mixing paddle.
With the blade inserted, you add some light spices and a bit of MSG in place of salt. After that, you blend it just a bit to break up the whites and yolks without thoroughly mixing them.

"Cylia! You done over there? I got the pot warmed up already, and the egg's ready to go."

"Huh..? Ah, yeah! Just... hold on, gimme a second..."

"Cyl? What are you doing over there?"

As it turns out, she's playing with the starch. ALL of your starch, actually.

"...Cyyyyyliaaaa. Are you making oobleck over there?"

"Uh... I don't know what that is, but even if i did, i admit to nothing."

"It's fine, i can just dry it out again. Kandurian wafers are like ninety five percent starch anyways, so..."

"Oh. Good! Ehem. H-Here's your starch water."

"Thank you very much!"

To the starchy water, you add a bunch of liquid orange dye to really give the color some pop before mixing it into the soup stock, thickening it up.
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>>5238511
I swear if they ever tell kids they don't need to learn cursive I'm gonna shit my pants.

also goddammit Cylia stop making non-Newtonian fluid in the kitchen.
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>>5238511
>david writes in cursive
what the fuck
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>>5238541
Could be worse. My normal handwriting is some bastard mix of print and cursive ever since they beat that shit into me.
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>>5238527
No one, let alone kids, needs to learn cursive. Print, or the print-cursive mix that people develop naturally. are strictly superior.
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>>5238541
the genuine fuck is going on here? cursive? the hell?
>>
>>5238563
to be fair, cursive way is faster. i have a friend that does that and she's stupid quick; but good luck having anyone but her friends understand whatever she wrote
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>>5238575
>but good luck having anyone but her friends understand whatever she wrote
Yeah, seeing as we write thing down with the objective of transferring information to others that's a critical flaw.
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>>5238553
they didn't beat you enough apparently
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>>5238563
I don't give a single flying fuck how practical, useful, or applicable it is kids need to learn it because I did too. So fuck em.

The main problem with cursive is that everyone treats it like a fucking whiteboard scribble and completely disregards the actual form the letters are supposed to take.

Rather have learned an actual second alphabet instead of the same one but squigglier but hey, education is a fucking joke.

Which reminds me about how the ayyyys have an equally goofy curriculum. Hyperspecialized is just as bad as unfocused.
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>>5238612
Fuck you, your cursive, and your desire to fuck kids.
>>
>>5238612
you're the kind of person that hates the abolishment of college debt because you won't benefit from it, right?
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>>5238621
Fuck your desire to fuck me or my cursive, needledick.

>>5238626
What the fuck are you talking about?
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>>5238612
The whole point is that you can write faster to take notes.
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>>5238708
The speed of your writing is entirely dependent on your practice doing it. Legibility is also a huge factor. And both of them are slower than typing. And that is slower than simply recording either visually or audibly. It has no real function and certainly not a justifiable one.

But those little rats don't deserve to get off easy, they should still learn it.
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>>5238511
....we can have young science experiment time with Cylia!
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Let's get rid of the need of writing altogether
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>>5238511

"Why is it so... yellow?" Cylia wonders. "It looks almost like..."

"Like egg yolk? Yeah, that's the point. It's egg drop soup, after all. Now, watch this..."

Using a ladle, you stir the pot of thickened broth slowly, and with your other hand you slowly pour the contents of the egg into the broth, allowing them to immediately solidify into long strands within the soup.
It's a lot of egg, but it's also a big pot. It takes a while to get it all poured out, and the nearly boiling soup has cooled significantly by the end. You pour up a bowl and top it off with some sliced greens before handing it off to Cylia.

"There we go! How does that look?" You ask.

"Almost like shredded meat, i guess? It smells like eggs, though."

"Should be nice and filling. However, we're not done yet!" You declare.

To start off with, you set a pot of (sadly synthetic) cooking oil on the stove to heat.
Next, you pull a roll of pre-prepared dough out of the fridge and begin slicing the log into segments, which you then cut in half to make varying lengths of rectangular dough.

As soon as the oil is hot, you dump the dough off into it. This makes the oil angry, which ends up scaring Cylia somewhat.

"H-Hey, that's boiling oil, you know! Should you be standing so close to it?! Isn't that dangerous?!"

"Oh, sure. I've been burned before. That's just one of the dangers of cooking, though."

"Seriously...? Is it worth risking injury just for some food?"

"Oh, absolutely. Don't forget, you think soda is spicy. I'm pretty sure a jalapeno would kill you."

"If you think so, then i'd probably agree. I don't know what a jalapeno is, though."

"The jalapeno is a type of fruit pod which contains highly poisonous compounds, causing extreme pain in anyone who consumes them. This is the plant's natural defense mechanism, but humans have taken a liking to the euphoria induced by the pain it causes, so it's used regularly in cooking." SHODAN informs her over the intercom.

"Oh, right. I forgot, humans are insane." Cylia mutters.

"Oh, that's nothing. Don't get me started on masochism and sadism."

"Masochism is a sexual fetish in which one partner enjoys being humiliated or having pain inflicted upon them, typically via spanking or-"

"LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU! THANK YOU VERY MUCH SHODAN, PLEASE NEVER SPEAK AGAIN!" Cylia yells, covering her ears.

You chuckle and pull the fried wontons out of the oil, giving them a shake and placing them on a wire rack to cool.
Picking one up, you blow on it and take a bite. The flavor is very light compared to wheat on earth, but the salt and MSG make up for it. Somewhat.

Cylia is still blushing from before, so you hand her the other half of the wonton to take her mind off it.

"Here. These are basically crackers for the soup. They're not bad, i think."

Cylia takes it and tosses the whole thing into her mouth without actually looking at you out of embarrassment.

"Indirect kiss~" SHODAN taunts.
>>
>>5239137
SHODAN is so obviously best girl, Kylafags btfo
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>>5239137
Oh no, SHODAN enjoys teasing the catgirl too. And she's starting to like it.
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>>5239137
>"Indirect kiss~" SHODAN taunts.
Oh no SHODAN is a weeb well, David is, since she is feeding of off his brain. Isn't she our daughter technically?
>masochism
see pic related
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>>5239194
You'd be amazed at the value of a thumb drive with some hentai on it when you're in the military.
>>
>>5239137
Oh SHODAN. You and your shipping games.
>>
>>5239137
SHODAN you keep talking like that and we'll kiss your box.
>>
Damn shodan... it needs hard drive correction!! Who does it thinks it is... teasing a crewmember with biological exchange!!! HMMM... correction... installing defraggler right now...
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>>5239375
>SHODAN: "Kinky."
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>>5239200
Speaking from experience??
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>>5239137

You laugh at Cylia stomping her foot and yelling at the ceiling.
But as that laugh turns to a cough which you cover with your hand, you taste blood in your mouth.

Examining your hand, there are definitely some small spatters of blood there.
Can't be the cuts, since Sanig already took a look at them and cleared you. Must be from when Javan slammed into you, then. Those were actually some pretty hard blows.
Either way, you don't feel any internal damage right now, so if you take it easy for a while after this, you should be good to go. Assuming it's anything at all, that is.

Moving on, you get to work cutting more dough to shape and pull a bowl of filling out of the fridge, unwrapping it.
You had to make this while everyone was in bed, because the ingredients are... well, not exactly appetizing, even to you.

However, it's a new, overlooked source of protein that you discovered while on Thekia.
Mites. Dandaran Mites, which occasionally enter a station hidden in shipments of blue milk. Apparently they're a common pest found on the underbellies of the buggalos who produce said milk.

On stations though, they just end up eating trash or sucking blood from sleeping people and animals. Each one is about the size of your thumb, but what really got your attention was their appearance.
Somewhere inbetween a shrimp and a grasshopper, they have big, meaty bodies with large, powerful-looking legs, and a proboscis that sticks out from between their mandibles when they drink blood.

More than anything though, they definitely look like a shrimp.
You can't blame a desperate man for trying, can you?

But you're glad you did, because they actually taste pretty great. Not only that, but they basically have no exoskeleton whatsoever, except for on their legs. Pop those off and you don't even get a crunch, just a juicy morsel.
Still, a bug looks like a bug at the end of the day, so you ground them up into mince and mixed it with some toasted bread crumbs to fill it out.

After forming the filling into balls, you fold the dough up over them and press it closed, forming a bulb-shaped wonton dumpling which you place into a basket to steam for a while.

"Hey, what are those you're making?" Cylia finally asks, after she's done yelling at SHODAN.

"...Want to try? I've got one or two left over from the other day. Should still be good to eat... probably."

"What, you've made these before? How come i didn't get any...?"

Cylia pouts, but that quickly changes as you grab a small plate with the last two dumplings from your test-batch on them and toss them into the microwave.
Well, you call it a microwave, but honestly you have no idea what this thing is or how it works. It seems to heat anything you put in it evenly, from the surface all the way to the center at once. It's what a kind and caring god would have made a normal microwave to be.

Regardless, the dumplings come out steaming within seconds, and you quickly pluck one off the plate for yourself.
>>
>>5239871
How did the Humanity Fuck Yeah quest I was following turn into anime food porn in space
>>
>>5239881
To be fair there isn't much more human than eating every possible thing you come across. And people can be very creative with how they prepare it.
>>
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>>5239896
Not only is David turning space bugs into something decent-tasting and edible, he's even making it look good while he's doing it.
99% of ayy's can't even cook, and if they do cook, it's usually a very specific set of traditional meals made from very specific ingredients.
>>
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>>5239903
You want to know what the typical ayylien meal consist of?
Here you go.
>>
>>5239881
Don't worry. We will get a chance to kill something soon
>>
>>5239907
What does onions taste like anyway?
>>
>>5239907
>>5239923
Err, so¥lent, not so¥ in general.
>>
>>5239927
Honestly, i considered trying it once, just for the experience.
Turns out, i won't try literally anything once.
>>
>>5239927
Like Total cereal, in that it has a weird aftertaste from too many vitamins. The versions made with algae oil were terrible, though.
>>
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>>5239907
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>>5239907
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>>5239871
David you tell somebody when you cough up blood.
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>>5239907
Cursed
>>
>>5240066
nah G it's all good it's just a bit of laugh juice. You know when the guffaw hits just right and you pull a lung so your alveoli need to let you know they think it's a riot too. Happens to everyone, totally normal.
>>
>>5240071
No its not, internal bleeding is bad.
>>
I vote to Ask Saing about internal bleeding
>>
>>5240077
What do you mean? The moment you cough it up it's external. I'm starting to think you're not a real doctor.
>>
>>5239881
>He doesn't read Dungeon Meshi
Ngmi
>>
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>>5239907
I do not see the appeal of these onions drinks
My mother tricked me to make me drink the chocolate one thinking it was the actual chocolate milk, absolutely fucking horrible that was but apparently my brother likes the chocolate milk one and kept buying them at one point
I coudn't tell the loss of a visible jaw was either becoming fat or it was the onions getting him probably the latter when he lost weight
>>
>>5240066
You know, he actually might not be feeling any internal damage due to being jacked on painkillers right now.

I wonder if the Greater Demon saw something inside us and decided to retreat because it knew we were already a dead man walking.
>>
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>>5239871
>But as that laugh turns to a cough which you cover with your hand, you taste blood in your mouth.
but in space
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>>5239871
>Well, you call it a microwave, but honestly you have no idea what this thing is or how it works. It seems to heat anything you put in it evenly, from the surface all the way to the center at once. It's what a kind and caring god would have made a normal microwave to be.
It's called infrared you ape
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>>5240197

Like in alien v/s predator? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJrvC3Y4FnY charles weyland has like, full body cancer
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>>5240224
There was a Weyland in AVP? I forgot how ridiculous those were.

Less like that and more like the Alien in Alien 3 not attacking Ripley because it sensed the embryo in her. We dunno what the smoke we're absorbing from the wraiths is doing to us.
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>>5240267
Have faith. Soon, very soon, we will ascend into Beauty.
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https://i.4cdn.org/x/1650678396940.png
Confound AI generated things!!!
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>>5240313
Aah, I see. It's the zombie plague that husk-ified the other crew on the ghost ship that's working on us!

Fuck, this is so obvious now.

We should probably go bother Sanig and get on looking at that living Husk ASAP.
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>>5240399
Yeah, more indepth examination is in order. David shouldn't ignore such symptom.
We should also be very careful in handling that... mobile husk. If this really is a contagion, then who knows if it isn't airborne or if it could spread via physical contact. Sanig touched our wound, too.
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>>5240404
+1
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>>5239907
UNHOLY
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>>5240404
I'll support this.
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>>5240428
Basedcery
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>>5239907
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31g0YE61PLQ
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>>5240208
I...I don't know how to say this, so I'm just gonna say it.
I think fucking Kyla may have given David tuberculosis.
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>>5240836
This is why you don't eat the green puss my man. Way too close to your windpipe.
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>>5239871

Cylia turns the dumpling over in her fingers to examine it before shrugging and taking a bite.
Almost instantly, her face lights up and a big grin spreads across her face as she chews.

"It's delicious! David, this tastes like meat! But it's not dodo, is it?!"

"Nope, it's not dodo."

Cylia pops the rest of the dumpling into her mouth and chews it fervently.

"Whad is id then?!"

"Ahhh... y-you know, just some uh..."

You're trying and failing to come up with something here.

"It's... a secret."

"A secret?"

As Cylia licks her fingers clean, you get a look at her tongue. It's somewhat flat and pointed, with little spikes on it just like a regular cat. That's kind of cute.

"Uh... yeah! It's a secret recipe! A good chef never gives away their secrets, don't you know? Sometimes their dishes aren't even copyrighted, but nobody can replicate them anyways, because they don't have the skill. That's just how it is."

"I guess that makes sense!" She smiles. Oh god, you feel kinda bad that you're feeding her bugs right now. M-Maybe it's normal? The taste is good, anyways...

"Ehem. Well, i assume you have no complaints?" You ask.

"Nope! I've never tasted anything like that before, but it was really good... everything you cook is really good."

Cylia sighs as she sits down at the table, where her soup has been left to cool for a bit.
She looks down at it in contemplation.

"Cyl? Is something wrong?"

She hesitates before answering.

"Mmm, not really, i guess. It's just... it seems like you can do anything, but i don't really have a whole lot of skills that i can help out with. I can fight and sneak around, but that's about it."

"You aren't feeling useful?"

"...Yeah, i guess so. I was just thinking, maybe if i knew how to cook like you do, i could at least contribute something during our off time. Besides money, that is."

>Maybe i could teach you a little bit about cooking, then. It's never too late to learn.
>I'll be honest, cooking out here in space is difficult. There aren't many ingredients worth using. You might have a hard time with it.
>Write-in?
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>>5241537
Cylia has a cat tounge huh? Neat.
>Maybe i could teach you a little bit about cooking, then. It's never too late to learn. We could even make our own food cart that we can wheel out and run on the side.
>I'll be honest, cooking out here in space is difficult. There aren't many ingredients worth using. But if you can learn how ingredients work, you can find stuff I can experiment with, and then sell later...if I don't kill someone by accident.
>"If nothing else you have an excellent future as back weight when I exercise"
>Wiggle eyebrows
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>>5241556
Oh yeah, found this for a uniform option.
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>>5241537
>Maybe i could teach you a little bit about cooking, then. It's never too late to learn.
The real issue with cooking is trying to find substitute ingredients and knowing *how* to use them. And that kind of skill takes a few years to really learn how to do. If she wants to learn how to cook she should first start with her native dishes and start branching out from there. Since she would know what those dishes should taste like she would have a starting point to learn how to substitute things in.
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>>5241537
>Maybe i could teach you a little bit about cooking, then. It's never too late to learn.
this only works because david is still half drugged
>"If nothing else you have an excellent future as back weight when I exercise"
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>>5241537
>Maybe i could teach you a little bit about cooking, then. It's never too late to learn.
Getting a couple recipes is good.
But she has to use her own money to buy stuff. If she wants to practice and burns all of our pidgeon sauce, she better replenish it
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>>5241565
>>5241582
+1
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>>5241537
>Maybe i could teach you a little bit about cooking, then. It's never too late to learn.
>Then do a general health checkup to see why you coughed up some blood.
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>>5241537
>>Maybe i could teach you a little bit about cooking, then. It's never too late to learn.
The home of a common woman.
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>>5241537
>>Maybe i could teach you a little bit about cooking, then. It's never too late to learn.
>>
396996
>>
>>5241559
Absolutely Incredible.
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>>5241537
>Maybe i could teach you a little bit about cooking, then. It's never too late to learn.

And lo, Did we turn the cat into a house wife.
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>>5241752
>A cat is fine too
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>>5241556
>>5241559
+2
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>>5241537

"I guess i could teach you a thing or two about human cooking. After all, it certainly couldn't end up any worse than what you're stuck eating normally."

"So, you'll teach me?"

Cylia tail wags gently from side to side, twitching here and there on occasion. She must actually be excited about this.

"Yeah, i'll teach you. But, keep in mind that cooking costs. It costs time, it costs money, and sometimes it costs your fingers. Don't think for a minute i'm going to let you use that piece of shit over there."

You point to the corner in which sits the dust-coated "auto-slicer" that was here when you first stole the ship. It uses pulsed lasers to cut through soft foods in a matter of seconds, always in perfectly formed cubic portions. However, it also leaves a slight burnt taste on everything it cuts.

"Ah... well, that's fine. I'm pretty good with a knife, actually!"

"Oh yeah? Here, then. Show me what you can do."

You toss Cylia what you've taken to calling a crunch-berry. A big, round fruit that has the texture of nuts which have been glued together. It tastes alright if you toast it, but cutting it into fine slices is difficult, as it like to crumble.

"If you can slice that thinly without crumbling it in under a minute, i'd say your raw dexterity is good enough. I'll still be giving you tips on how to handle the blade, though."

Cylia looks over the crunch-berry in her hands and bring it to the cutting board to prepare it. Interestingly, she doesn't use one of your cooking knives, but instead pulls her custom warp-infused blade out of it's sheath.

"...You did clean that thing, right? I don't want any wraith blood in our food."

"Yes, David. It's clean..."

"Ah, ah, ah. It's "Yes, Chef." While we're in the kitchen."

"Huh?"

"A chef is the master of a kitchen, just as a captain is the master of his ship. I'm the captain of this ship, but i'm also the chef in this kitchen. And right now, i'm acting as a chef, so use my appropriate title."

"Yes... Chef."

Beautiful. Like poetry, even.

You notice that Cylia naturally holds her blade in a reverse grip, but before slicing the nut-like fruit, she flips it around and holds it in a classic pinch-grip.

"Have you been watching me, by chance?" You wonder.

"Maybe a little..." She admits, sheepishly.

"No, that's good. There's nothing wrong with learning from others, as long as you can apply it to your own cooking. Now, go ahead."

Cylia slices into the fruit and is immediately surprised by the texture of it's inner meat, which is nothing like the soft skin surrounding it. Normally you'd peel the skin off before slicing it, but in this case it'll actually help hold it together for her, so you won't say anything.
To your surprise, after the first blunder in which she puts a little too much pressure into the cut rather than drawing it and breaks off a small piece of the nutty flesh, she adjusts excellently and manages to cut relatively thin slices out of the remaining fruit.
>>
Just a heads up. I have a bit more free time these days, at least for the moment.
So on occasion, i'll be releasing two updates a day like i used to. There's no schedule for this and no guarantees, but if it happens it happens.

Hope you lads all have a good day.
>>
>>5241907
Catgirl Waifu and Naked Apron, Mission Start.
>>5241910
Hot damn, its good news.
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>>5241910
Thank you cochraneqm, have a good one too and bless you.
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>>5241910
Woooooooo
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>>5241910
WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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>>5241910
ROCK ON.
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>>5242067
This smug fucking cat with her waffles.
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>>5241907

"Not bad at all. You wouldn't believe the way some people cut up their food, seriously. It's important to keep the pieces roughly the same size, so that they finish cooking at the same time... unless you're looking for a little variety in texture, in which case-"

You were just about to start rambling when Asta barges his way into the kitchen, both arms hanging limply by his side.
Kyla comes in right behind him.

"WHERE'S MY FOOD?!" He cries. Sounds like he's in a lot of pain.

"Sorry, he was making a fuss..." Kyla apologizes. She ducks out of the room immediately afterwards.

"Awake already, huh kid? Alright, go ahead and sit down. Your dumplings will be ready shortly, but the soup is already good to go."

Asta does as he's told without complaint. He does, however, make a lot of groaning noises as he plops down into his seat and lays his head down on the table.
You place an oversized titanium straw down right in front of his face, so that he can see it.

"Hah... what's this?"

"It's a straw, kid. Made out of titanium, for style. So don't bite down on it."

"That's stupid... that's totally stupid... nobody drinks soup through a straw." He grumbles.

"Alright, genius. If the straw is so stupid, how do you plan on eating your soup?"

"With a...!" He pauses. You fold your arms and stare at him, disappointment evident in your eyes as he realizes his own profound retardation. "With a spoon... ah. Right. My arms."

You roll your eyes and ladle him up a nice bowl of neon yellow egg drop soup, sans wonton crackers.
He lifts his head up to look at it, and seems utterly disgusted.

"Is this... puke?" He asks, sounding genuinely shocked.

"Even if it was, i'd still make you eat it."

"David's food can look a little weird sometimes, but i guarantee the taste." Cylia offers. She takes a sip from her own bowl and licks her lips clean with a smile. "Only... you might get fat if you eat too much of it. It's actually too nutritious."

Asta looks down at his bowl with apprehension, but still leans down and gives it a sniff. His mood instantly changes.

"Wait a minute... that smell. That savoriness... is this... real egg?! LIKE, FROM A BIRD?!"

"It's in the name, dumbass. Egg drop soup. Soup with eggs dropped into it."

"Holy shit! Straw, i need the straw!"

Asta frantically slams his head against the table and tries to maneuver the straw into his mouth using his lips.
You can see him smearing drool all over the table... you'll have to clean that up later. But, he does manage to pick the straw up on his own.

Immediately upon doing so, he slurps up a big mouthful of steaming hot soup all at once, and...

"HOT! BURNING HOT!"

Immediately sprays it all over the table as he spits it out.

"It just came out of the pot, idiot." You chide.

"YOU COULD HAVE FRIGGIN' TOLD ME THAT, IDIOT!"

"Sorry, we'll take you in for an eye exam later since you seem to be blind, as well as dumb."

"I'M NOT BLIND!"

"Too bad you're not mute."

"What was that?!"
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>>5242590
>literally scoop the stuff out of the pot right in front of him
>it's probably pissing steam
>just being physically near it probably gives enough indication of its temperature through the nerves on skin
>"oh wow it's hot"
So he failed at 1) critical thinking 2)interpreting visual cues
and 3) understanding tactile sensation
You could even argue that smell as well can denote temperature as hot and cold air both produce different sensations in the nose. But I'll just consider it a subset of the sense of touch since that's probably the underlying cause.

I dunno man. Everyone keeps saying he isn't retarded but I'm really starting to think he's legitimately mentally impaired. Like he has a certificate for it and everything. Probably has it hung on his wall. Thinks it's a diploma or some shit.

Fuck.
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>>5242601
It wasn't labeled as hot, man
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>>5242590

"I said your dumplings are ready. Spoiler, they're hot too. You might want to blow on them first, just saying."

While you're busy grabbing some dumplings and putting them on a plate, you can hear Asta smacking his lips behind you.

"Woah, you weren't kidding... it's actually really good!"

"Told you. Just don't drink any "soda" if he offers it to you." Cylia warns.

"What? Why's that? What kind of food is it?"

"It's acid. He drinks it for fun."

"Hah?!"

You set a plate of dumplings in front of both Cylia and Asta. Cylia seems excited, but Asta is just as apprehensive as he was with the soup at first.
In fact, he just stares at them for a good minute or so.

"...Well? Are you going to eat them or not?" You ask.

"Why do they look so normal? This is just dough, ain't it? It's suspicious, ain't it!?"

"It's not just dough. There's a filling inside."

"Aha! I knew it, what are you trying to feed me?! What's in there? More acid?! Huh?!"

"What do you mean, "more" acid? I never gave you any acid in the first place."

"That's besides the point!"

"I don't think it is, but if you must know, the filling is basically just meat, breadcrumbs and spices."

"Meat?"

He looks over to Cylia for confirmation. She glances over at him while slowly placing a dumpling in her mouth and chewing on it with a big grin.
Asta rapidly begins blowing on his plate of dumplings to cool them off, then just grabs a whole one with his teeth and starts going to town on it.

"Hot! HOT, HOT, HOT! Mmmm! Oh yah, thad's da good shtuff..."

You're pretty sure he's still burning his mouth, but he doesn't actually seem to care anymore.
You set a glass of mixed fruit juice on the side for him, with a straw already in it. He sips it to cool down his mouth, and thanks you.

"Man, that's good! I don't know where you got meat out here, but i don't care either! Thanks for sharing it with me, man!"

"Yeah, yeah. No problem kid. You kept your word, so i'll keep mine. That's how a man should be."

"You shaid it!"

He's already back to stuffing his own face, alternating between picking dumplings up with his teeth and drinking soup through a straw.

"Man, what's this guy doing on Gron's team, anyways?" You mumble quietly.

"Id'sh because i'm shtrong!" he says, gulping his food down. "And i'm really good at sneaking around, because my hearing's so good!"

"Mmm. Well, i can't deny you're strong. By alien standards, anyways. Cylia could pound your ass into the ground like a tent peg, though."

Asta glares at Cylia for a moment, or so you thought. Now it just looks like he's watching her eat.
He clears his throat before continuing.

"Ahem. Yes, well, i'm still growing, you know. I'm sure i'll be strong enough to take on anyone in your crew before long." He boasts.

"Maybe if you keep up the gravity training." You joke. "Do you even have any weights you can wear?"

"...Wear? Weights? As training?"
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