You’re STANLEY PARBLE: a girl with a weird name and an even weirder tale: after a centuries-old lich woke up during your graveyard shift at the GOOD BOY DOGGIE BONE factory, your simple life of janitorial work became a bit more… Complicated.Sure, you became pals with your now-sentient skeleton (you named him LY) AND gained some nifty SUPER POWERS from eating MAGICAL BONE MARROW, but that doesn’t change the fact that your hometown of CLEARWATER, CALIFORNIA is overrun by HOMICIDAL SKELETONS! Even worse, the guy in charge is dead-set on taking over the rest of the world while he’s at it! Not cool!Your growing popularity, it seems, is both a blessing AND a curse. Thanks to a tip from CHRISTY: YOUR GOOD BOY COMPANY CONTACT AND PERSONAL ASSISTANT EXTRAORDINAIRE, you and your merry gang of misfits were finally able to cross an old sidequest off of your TO-DO LIST: 'Find the Missing People!" The trail led to an old ART GALLERY-- its non-Euclidean and very avant-garde walls housing a deranged tenant you haven't seen, and would be better off not seeing, since the threads were in single digits: JED P. SLAUSON: A.K.A THE CORPSE-ART KILLER!Eager to get to know you better, Jed bypassed the tried-and-true route of buying you dinner in favor of a decidedly more sinister method--one that involved several unwilling participants and a handful of tricky questions on morality. So, you know, the usual serial killer stuff. Though not every hostage made it out in one piece, an ART BITCH is still an ART BITCH--foiling Jed's plans with the help of your pals SYBIL, GUS, and MITZI, you cornered the undead killer just as the building was set to collapse, escaping just in time to grab ICE CREAM outside!With the surviving hostages and the culprit's skull in GOOD BOY CORPORATE SECURITY'S custody, you and your gang were free to set your sights on your main goal: the elimination of THE SEA WITCH: THE LICH'S FINAL LIEUTENANT. Unfortunately the dumb bitch decided to hole up in ATLANTIS, and with the possibility of a ravenous SEA DEMON patrolling CLEARWATER'S coast, getting to her will be anything but simple!To make it simpler, you sent one team to the CLEARWATER MUSEUM for clues, the other to THE UNIVERSITY for some expert advice. You and your crack team consisting of LIL’ STANLEY, SYBIL, MITZI, AND TALBOT are headed to the one landmark you have that could possibly lead you to the sunken city:PITCHFORK ROCK.With an ash-stuffed breeze blowing past your face and a fistful of determination, THIS is where your story continues… https://youtu.be/_wiwdlu-Zg0
>>5243275Welcome to BONES QUEST: rated the #1 Quest among countless star systems, probably! Make sure to check out the following resources to look hip and ‘in the know’:Archive Link to catch up with the story!>https://lws.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Bones%20QuestTwitter account for updates!>https://twitter.com/DemBonez3Imgur Page for quest and FAN ART! You make it, we display it!>https://imgur.com/a/dvF3SCNA HANDY PASTEBIN for INVENTORY, SKILLS, and MORE:>https://pastebin.com/u/DemBonez3/1/TvtRhtJKRolls are handled by a 1d100--I take the BEST OF THREE ROLLS! Certain boosts and maluses will be applied based on the situation and existing skills. Describing your actions, write-ins, FANART and GENERAL CREATIVITY are all APPRECIATED AND REWARDED--we like to keep things LIGHT and CHILL here, so come on in and have some fun!UPDATE: I've been working to whip up a separate website to easily read Bones Quest--it's a slow process, but I definitely aim on making it happen once this dumpster fire is completed. If anyone has experience in making that shit happen, I'd be happy to hear some advice! Might also be looking to commission a few STAN ARTS as well, especially of supporting characters. If you're an ART BITCH, feel free to hit me up via Twitter!>CONTD.
>>5243280A blood-red sun peeks through a veil of towering plumes of smoke as you let the ashy breeze rush through your hair. Sticking your arm out the passenger side window, you let out a relaxed sigh as you smile wistfully at the looted buildings lying dormant along the coastal street–not a bad day for a beach trip, huh, gang?“It’ll be much nicer after we’ve dealt with the remaining Undead.” Replies Sybil from one of the van’s back seats. “Not that I was ever much of a beach bum, of course…”“At least we don’t gotta worry about parking passes anymore...” Mitzi shrugs, one hand on the wheel, the other dangling out the window. “Those prices were murder, man.”“Speakin’ of murder,” Talbot interjects, legs spread wide as he reclines in the seat opposite Syb, “How are we gonna find this SEA BITCH anyways?”Didn’t he read the damn recap!? You’ve got a landmark from a TREASURE MAP– what more could you need?“Well a few more would certainly be appreciated…” Sybil sighs as she closes her eyes and adopts a meditative stance. “I can try to guide us when we get closer, but anything after that is beyond me…”“Beyond lots of folks, actually.” Mitzi adds with a slight chuckle in her voice. “Your landmark’s pretty infamous among CLEARWATER’S diving community, y’know.”And she’s pretty infamous for telling you shit you already know! Besides, you add, shooting your driver a sideways glare, danger’s a part of the job at this point–no way around it!“True, just thought I’d mention it again.” Mitz counters with a noncommittal shrug! “Well hopefully the other dorks can scrounge up some clues–that oughta’ make things easier.”You lean your head further out the window. Did anyone hear anything from either team yet?“Nope.” Talbot grunts. “Probably takin’ their sweet time at the gift shop or whatever… I say we just track down a BOAT and get out there!”“That might be easier than you think…” Sybil murmurs, eyes flitting briefly. “I detect quite a bit of life along the coast–well, UNlife, to be precise.” She adds, furrowing her pale brow.“GREAT.” Groans your ex-bodyguard, “How the hell do more boneheads help us, huh?!”“Well,” Sybil sighs as she watches Lil’ Stanley, the team’s resident wild raccoon and your on-and-off pet, tear into a sack of grape gummies, “If they’re of the ‘buccaneer’ variety then they might have a dinghy in their possession, at least, or know where to find one.”“Worth a shot…” Mitzi shrugs as she takes the van down a street closer to the water’s edge. “If, y’know, they’re some of the FRIENDLY ones. Any clue where they’re hanging out?”“Well…” Sybil replies in her 'I have an idea' voice...>CONTD.
>>5243282In which direction do Syb’s senses send you? CHOOSE 1 OF THE FOLLOWING, IF YOU PLEASE!>THERE’S A SEAFOOD RESTAURANT NOT FAR FROM HERE–I SENSE QUITE A FEW SKELETONS THERE!>THE PIER’S NEARBY, STANLEY–YOU AND YOUR BROTHER FREQUENTED THAT AREA, DIDN’T YOU?>I SENSE A LARGE BEACH HOUSE–ONE WITH A PRIVATE DOCK!>A BEACH IS NEARBY–AND A BONFIRE. PERHAPS THEY’RE HAVING A BBQ?>THERE’S A QUIET MARINA NEARBY IN CASE WE AREN’T KEEN ON RUNNING INTO ANY SKELETONS…>THERE’S A PARKING STRUCTURE NOT TOO FAR AWAY–WE COULD USE IT TO GET THE LAY OF THE LAND AND WAIT TO HEAR FROM THE OTHERS!>WRITE-IN!
>>5243285>>THERE’S A SEAFOOD RESTAURANT NOT FAR FROM HERE–I SENSE QUITE A FEW SKELETONS THERE!
>>5243285>THERE’S A SEAFOOD RESTAURANT NOT FAR FROM HERE–I SENSE QUITE A FEW SKELETONS THERE!
>>5243343>>5243443>SEAFOOD DIET!Writing! Got started a little late today, so this next update will be the last one for the evening--will continue TUESDAY AROUND 5-6PM PST!
Before Syb can finish, your nostrils are suddenly tickled and caressed by a cornucopia of spicy, savory scents that render you near catatonic!“... Stan?” Syb asks as a frown slowly forms on her face. “As I was say-”Nope, you mutter under your breath, you already know where you wanna look! Half-diving, half-falling out of the passenger side window like an antsy dog, you immediately rise on all fours and gallop in the direction your nose takes you!“DAMN IT!” Snarls The Goth as you feel an otherworldly coldness nip at your back, “We haven’t even started the mission yet-”Too late. Following the scent takes you along a seaside road littered with the skeletons of countless cars and the beach gear their drivers brought with them. Leaping over a particularly nasty-looking POOL NOODLE, you nearly stumble onto your face when your eyes lock with those of a familiar masked woodland critter!LIL’ STANLEY… we meet again!Hanging for dear life from your EVENING SANITATION COORDINATOR CAP, your ‘pet’ raccoon matches your crazed gaze for a moment before frantically jabbing a claw in the direction of the scent–oh, she just wants whatever’s cookin’, huh? The critter nods, sending tiny globs of drool splashing onto your freckled face! Alright, you shrug as you dust yourself off, that’s something you can both agree o-“RRRRRNGH!”Before you and your fuzzy counterpart can continue onward to your bonding experience, you feel a lithe, but familiar, body grab you from behind! Uh… you stammer, as the hairs on your neck freeze into gossamer icicles, h-hey, Syb-Before you can explain, The Goth adjusts her grip and SUPLEXES you into the pavement! “Ooof…” Grumbles Ly as you lie in a dazed heap on the street, “Wh-what happened? I remember some kinda’ smell…”“What happened,” Snarls Syb as both Mitz and Talbot appear from around the corner clapping, “Is you nearly ran off by yourself again!” Oh, you cough, that’s right…“Gotta admit it smells pretty damn good, though.” Mitz adds as Lil’ Stanley sniffs your battered body. Yea, great, at least she didn’t get hurt!>CONTD.
>>5243581“Ehhh.” Talbot shrugs, nose wrinkled in disagreement, “Never really been much of a fish guy, to be honest. Too many bones.”THAT’S what you smell, you hiss as you levitate back onto your feet! It’s… it’s AMAZING!Indeed it is. Brushing the dust off of your coveralls, you and your pals take a moment to stare at the COLOSSAL SHIP anchored to a dock just down the road! Swaying against its moorings to the beat of a jaunty sea shanty and raucous laughter rumbling from within, the ship is alive with the smell of beer-battered grub and more patrons than you can wag a stick at!“Lemme guess…” Mitzi mumbles, “Sk-”Her answer comes in the form of a SKELETON being launched out of an upper deck porthole like a cannonball! Sailing through the air, the SKELETAL BUCCANEER’S shiny gold teeth and polished hook glitter like jewels as the drunken sailor lands in the turbulent water below with an unceremonious splash! Watching from afar, you and the others grow increasingly uncomfortable as the pirate fails to surface again.“He uh… us bones don’t float, remember?” Groans Ly’s disembodied voice in your ear! “Guy’s probably walkin’ da’ buzz off.”Oh. Right. Cracking your back, you chance a few more steps towards the floating restaurant to get a better look. “SKELETONS.” Sybil mutters, voice distorted and eyes glowing blue. “Lots.”“So what’s the problem?” Asks Talbot as he joins you at your side! “We kicked their Captain’s butt, remember? These guys are probably Andy’s pals, or whatever!”You distinctly recall your fight with CAPTAIN MENDOZA being one-on-one, not a group thing, but you opt not to call your ex-bodyguard out on it. Maybe that food scent’s put you in a decent mood? “T’s right about da’ other thing, though!” Ly adds with pride in his voice! “Hell, we still have da’ guy’s HAT in our INVENTORY, don’t we?”Hey, YEA! Retrieving the item in question from your pockets, you plop the haberdashery over your cap and tilt it to an appropriately-roguish angle!“Not bad… not bad...” Mitzi remarks with a nod of approval. “It’d suck if these guys were loyal to the old captain though, huh?”Yea, you growl, tapping your foot in irritation, it would!>CONTD.
>>5243585“Never fear, Stan–we’ve dealt with this kind of thing before!” Sybil exclaims as she puffs out her admittedly small chest. “I still have that GLAMOUR spell–why don’t I just disguise you and Mitzi as skeletons so you can go mingle? Maybe you can find us a vessel!”“Hey…” Talbot grunts, “Why didn’t you offer to disguise me?”“Too volatile.” Sybil retorts with a disapproving shake of her head. “We want to rub elbows, not break them.”“BULLSHIT!” Talbot howls as he stamps his foot on the ground in disbelief! “That is BULLSHIT, Syb-”“You’ve got that ‘Ly’ guy with ya, right, Stan?” Mitzi asks, deftly sidestepping Talbot’s meltdown. “Does he see a boat or anything back there?”“Yep.” Replies your skeleton as he darts to and from your body in his ASTRAL FORM! “Couple’a SPEEDBOATS, from da’ look of things–they’re all on da’ PORT side, or STARBOARD, or whatever–da’ one opposite us!”You give the news a thoughtful nod and a few ‘hmm’s for good measure. Yes, you mumble to yourself, that could do nicely…“They got BOATS?” Talbot asks, still barely recovered from his outburst two seconds ago, “Shit, what the hell are we waiting for? Let’s just burst in an’ take ‘em!”“... and if there are too many of them?” Sybil asks, raising a pierced eyebrow his way. Your fellow Evening Sanitation Coordinator shrugs.“They’re PIRATES! What are they gonna do–sing us to death? OoOOoh, scWaAwY!”“I hear keelhauling’s all the rage nowadays.” Mitzi replies as Sybil deftly swats away Talbot’s wiggling fingers from her face.Before you can do the whole ‘A Few Options and a Write-In’ thing, your heart skips a few beats as you spot Lil’ Stanley’s small, but still VERY FAT form shimmy along a mooring line onto the boat! Damn it, you hiss, YOU were gonna ditch everyone and eat all the food! Stupid animal!“Well now that your scheme’s thwarted,” Says Mitzi as she wraps a toned arm around your shoulder, “How’sabout we come up with a new plan?”Fine, you groan, here’s what you’ll do…>POP THAT CAP ON AND WALTZ IN LIKE YOU OWN THE DAMN PLACE! PIRATES DIG CHARISMA, DAMN IT, AND YOU OOZE THAT STUFF!>PLAY IT SAFE AND LET SYBIL GLAMOUR YOU AND MITZ! (GLAMOUR IS A DAILY SPELL!-ED.)>NO GLAMOURS NEEDED–JUST SNEAK AROUND TO THE BOATS! HELL, YOU COULD PROBABLY SWIM OVER TOO!>STRIKE FIRST, STRIKE HARD! LAUNCH AN ATTACK ON THE BOATSTAURANT WHILE YOU STILL HAVE THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE!>CREATE A DISTRACTION ON THIS END OF THE BOAT–YOU CAN SLIP OVER TO THE SPEEDBOATS IN THE CHAOS!>YOU KNOW WHAT? THE FOOD DOESN’T SMELL THAT GOOD–LET’S FIND A BETTER OPTION (NOTE: THE FOOD DOES SMELL THAT GOOD.)>WRITE-IN!
>>5243591>PLAY IT SAFE AND LET SYBIL GLAMOUR YOU AND MITZ! (GLAMOUR IS A DAILY SPELL!-ED.)
>>5243591>>PLAY IT SAFE AND LET SYBIL GLAMOUR YOU AND MITZ! (GLAMOUR IS A DAILY SPELL!-ED.)sussy impostor bakas
>>5243591>CREATE A DISTRACTION ON THIS END OF THE BOAT–YOU CAN SLIP OVER TO THE SPEEDBOATS IN THE CHAOS!